My boyfriend and have started having sex without a condom? I have a few concerns but not sure how to tell ask him?

Question

So my boyfriend and I have started having sex with out a condom. I get tested every 3 months and I'm clean. Before I sleep with a new partner I make them get tested but this time I didn't ask. Now I'm a bit concerned, I want to ask my boyfriend to get tested but I don't know how to do it with out offending him. Every time, I tell him to use a condom he doesn't want too. Since we live together I have been avoiding sexual activity with him because of my concerns.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If you're uncomfortable with having unprotected sex that's perfectly reasonable. If he refuses to wear a condom, you should refuse to have sex with him, plain and simple. Don't ever do anything you don't want just to please him.

Are you uncomfortable because of pregnancy or STDs, or both? Maybe there's a compromise you can agree on?

exitseven · Accepted Answer

So let me see if I understand this. You live with this guy and you are having sex with him without a condom. You also have sex with other guys without a condom and the thing you are worried about most is that ypou don't know how to tell him you are having sex with other guys.

kyleelyn199723 · Accepted Answer

Go together 🙌🏻 Even if you have been tested already , making it seem like less of an attack on him will probably make him feel more comfortable. “Say hey I know we have been introducing sex without condoms, I think we should both get tested just to be sure. I am very cautious when it comes to making sure we both don’t have anything”

karaspara · Accepted Answer

Just tell him straight unless he was a virgin before you he needs to get tested don't play with your health because he doesn't wanna use a condom

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Why are you afraid to ask him to get tested?

kkirk4442 · Answer

You have valid concerns. You need to be up front about this, and let him know, that you are uncomfortable having sex without a condom, until he is tested. You can also tell him, that this is how you did it in the past, but before, it as always before unprotected sex.

GirlyGal20 · Answer

the fact that he doesn't want to is a red flag, he either gets tested or puts on a condom

slatyb · Answer

If he gets offended, then he's not much of a boyfriend.

Kabluie · Answer

Just ask him to do it too when you get tested again, can even go together if that is manageable, or order a delivered STI kit together. This is an easy one to get past, even if he's likely STI-free, the peace of mind means you won't have to get tested often.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

You can't to that, you gotta tell him what you are thinking, like all the time, open book style, and he has to do the same with you.

Wise4myage · Answer

If he refuses to get tested than no more raw sex, period. If he can't handle that, then its time to think about moving on.

Mangospacho · Answer

Just out of curiosity, why do you get tested once every three months if you’re just having sex with the same person? Also he should absolutely get tested and he should not be offended by this.

2021biguy · Answer

That's the risk you take with many sex partners.

MasterKS · Answer

ask him openly, its your right.

RickVienna · Answer

Talk to him in a nice way he should do a test. Smaller guys don't like to use condoms...

Anonymous · Answer

When you go next, ask him to join you, or just simply ask him to get one. He shouldn't be offended. He might be confused depending on how many times you've already had unprotected sex, but if he cares about you, it shouldn't be a problem. Explain this all to him like you have here and why you've not asked earlier.