If a guy is into certain sex acts that his wife/girlfriend isn’t into should they break up or discuss?

[Anonymous]

I don’t know about other couples. But when it comes to me I already had this thinking since I was 14 years old (I’m 23 this year) that when guys find out their loved ones is not into certain sex acts they’re more likely to be very unhappy in a relationship and it will destroy the whole relationship that’s why I think the best solution is breaking up. Why? I don’t want to stay in an unhappy relationship, there’s also a higher chance that he might cheat on me if there’s another woman who’s into all the sex acts that he likes so much (yeah he might be more likely to have sex with her more often can you imagine that happening it’s a big threat to the relationship).

If I’m into certain sex acts that he doesn’t like I will be a little disappointed but I’m willing to look for more sex acts on the internet that can satisfy me and him both and no i will never cheat on him. I just have this feeling that when guys find out about her having different views on certain sex acts he’s very much more likely to let that affect him very greatly. I just think that if their girlfriends don’t fit into their preferences they’re more likely to be upset and think about cheating. If a guy doesn’t fit into my preferences I wouldn’t cheat on him, I won’t get upset.

Appearance to me isn’t everything in a relationship, as long as he takes a bath everyday, stays fit and healthy, is loyal and honest that’s good enough. When it comes to grooming it’s his business I can’t tell him how he should shave this or groom his beard. Meaning I have to accept it even though I don’t like it there will always be some part of him that I don’t like. Everyone (men and women) should be able to choose with what they wanna do to their body hairs whether it’s to shave or to leave it all natural. He doesn’t need to have an extremely attractive face and a super hot body. Even if I were a guy I will still think appearances isn’t everything in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

You make it sounds as if men are more likely to cheat than woman, but at your age the opposite is true. Women age 18 - 30 cheat more than men. Please don't perpetuate false stereotypes.

That said, I agree that sexual compatibility is very important in a relationship. If either partner is not willing to do things that are important to the other, that's recipe for resentment and unhappiness. I agree with another poster who said that's why it's important to get to know each other sexually before marriage.

[ChrisMaster69]

You discuss it during the relationship stage, the sex during this time is when you learn what each other likes, does not like or does not really do anything for them.

discussion about sex and other things such as fantasise is really important, going to far forward or marrying without this understanding is risky.

[Jazzi02]

I think it's important to discuss things and if it's important to your partner then you should attempt the acts for them.

[OlderAndWiser]

What is it that you don't want to do?

[Asker]

A number of things like facial, blowjob, deepthroating, BDSM, choking, anal anything that is considered too much for me. I would rather stick to sex positions that are pleasurable for both genders

[TommyMountainFigure]

Always best to discuss things first. The most successful relationships are all about compromises, and how can you compromise when you don't discuss what it is you want to compromise over?

[The_Maphio]

Discussing is something that should happen anyway, in any case. Then if he decides to break up because he didn't get his special fun, he's too immature to have a true relationship so you're better off looking for another one.

[boggboss]

Normally they would talk about it

[Nmdr3]

Firstly if I wasn’t happy sexually I would keep it to myself no matter how unhappy or frustrated I was. And would never cheat no matter what because I wouldn’t want to hurt someone like that. And I wouldn’t even know how to discuss it with my partner without upsetting her or making her feel like she’s not enough when she is, however I have different sexual needs that she can’t meet because that’s not her and I just have to live with that.

[FilmGuy93]

Compromise is a big part of maintaining a healthy relationship. If the couple cannot compromise, then perhaps they should break up. But they should try to compromise first.

[Browneye57]

Your first sentence is patently false.
If you don't like men don't date them. It's just not fair to them.

Having a man isn't the same as having a pet. PERIOD.

And appearances IS everything. For love can't start till attraction does, and then there needs to be a conversation.

This level of confusion for a 23yo is absolutely stunning.

[oralqueen]

discuss first for sure

[Mrmr123]

I think some guys have the view about sex that you do rather than the general one you have about guys.

[Dchrls78104]

To me such sensitive areas as sexual fantasies, fetishes, and the like should be discussed before a couple gets engaged to be married, so that such issues can be catered for after the wedding.

[dudeinohio]

I would make sure we were sexually compatible early on in the relationship and terminate it if we weren't. There is no sense in continuing something that will just lead to unhappiness.

[In_Trance]

Thats the whole idea of getting to know each other before you're married.
I've thought for a while now that people just rush into things; this is the kinda thing that results from it.

[Asker]

Yeah people get married then they discuss about certain sex positions. Either the man or woman finds out their partner is not into it and gets very upset which can cause a damage to their marriage. They should talk about it before marriage so they don’t ended up regretting marrying someone who’s not compatible

[msc545]

Maybe just discuss it?

[Romeocuck]

Discussion is the only option

[Anonymous]

Should at least discuss before breaking up. There might be a compromise that both parties are amenable towards.