Would masturbation actually help me love my body and forget my rape? WARNING: could be triggering?

Question

I have seen many women talk about how masturbation helped them love/discover and overcome rape. My relationship with myself is very flawed i hate myself and i do not masturbate. I have recently been trying to change that and i have been watching masturbation videos, reading, and even trying. I would masturbate and cry. I know. Weirdo. But i feel weird. Either way i was looking into sex toys and thinking maybe i need to try that or just do something different. Tips? Would this actually work? Please don’t say go to a psychologist. I have been quite about this for years and years I don’t feel like i can talk about it ever. I also never had a boyfriend nor did i ever have sex and i am supposedly a “virgin” but obv the rape changed that. So my entire life is kinda fucked because of this rape.

ChrisMaster69 · Accepted Answer

The masturbation may to a certain level let you ‘relearn’ your body, sort of a mental reset (there is other bits as well).

I know you said not to mention it, however you need to talk to a specialist rape counsellor or abuse survivor. You can unfortunately only go so far on your own, you do need help, it’s about regaining who you are.

You currently link penetration sex (and possibly orgasm) with your rape, that is part of what you need to break, this is where a counsellor comes in better rather than some guy from the UK or other GaG peeps.

Yes you could use masturbation to understand where you can get pleasure, I would also suggest using literature rather than simply watching porn.

yes you will cry, even scream, it’s natural and it’s part of your emotional response to it all.

What you need to look for on Google is Mindful Masturbation.

https://www.royalberkshire.nhs.uk/patient-information-leaflets/sexual%20health%20psychosexual%20therapy%20mindfulness%20self%20touch

https://www.thecut.com/2017/11/learning-to-love-sex-again-after-sexual-trauma.html

jspl90 · Accepted Answer

look maybe get a support dog i know pets help reduce anxiety but honestly you sound kinda fucked up over that😥honestly most people can't fix themself without help even if it is just a tiny bit of help basically only thing i can say is get a dog and (get professional help but you dont want that advice) so maybe learn selfdefence or something similar that helps you feel strong and in control

well I think my only good advice is get a dog who slobber you with kisses and love and who needs you to take care of him

Breanna_nonbinary · Accepted Answer

Hey love. Masturbating is only going to help you relieve some sexual tension. What would really help you is to learn to trust again. To enjoy sex and begin to overshadow bad memories with new positive memories. It isn’t easy but not impossible. I’ve helped several women in your position overcome their anxieties and begin to heal their scars.
But whatever you decide to do just remember that time doesn’t heal all wounds, it just makes it hurt less often.
If you’d like some more advice please PM me.

CuteLingsAppreciator · Accepted Answer

It's not weird, you are trying to reconnect with your sexuality and body after it was forcefully taken from you. It's actually a good idea, from what I remember of my psychology class. if you can find a therapist, they could guide you further on other coping mechanism that might be less triggering. You deserve to enjoy to your body and sexuality.

Red_Arrow · Answer

You say that you have been silent for years and years, can't enjoy touching yourself, never had a boyfriend, and you obviously are still deeply troubled. It really is time for you to find a psychologist who specializes in such things and work you problems out. You are probably a wonderful woman, but you are losing some of the best years of your life in despair. And you may never feel good about yourself. Let an expert help you! You deserve to feel good about yourself!

Agape93 · Answer

Possibly. You need to feel comfortable with yourself and you need to regain your sense of control over your sexuality and body.

Neko911 · Answer

It never helped me get over mine. I still did it because it was sometimes just something I thought I was supposed to do or got rid of some stress. Never actually an experience I enjoyed. You're attempting to take back that oart of your sexuality. For me that didn't happen till I met my boyfriend. Prior to him anything sex related I couldn't do. I'd freak or vomit even at the idea. Sometimes it takes someone or something you care so much for to help you overcome that

exitseven · Answer

I can't even imagine what you have gone through. You have had this invisible wound for years and have never talked about it. I hope that posting it on this site gives you some peace.
I guess you have to get comfortable with your feelings again. You associate your sexuality with an extremely unpleasant experience. Hopefully you can get past this.
don;t know if you have dated anyone but it may help to discuss it with a potential partner, somebody you can trust.

AmeerX · Answer

Actually, find someone who loves you

Caliguy88 · Answer

So, I know a lot about this via career of my long time ex. Rape and extreme sexual history usually lead to extreme behaviors one way or the other. For example, kids that have grownup being raped usually want no sex or a ton. Each person is different but they gravitate to the extremes. Does not mean that’s for sure though.

Ballskicking1 · Answer

Do Meditation, care yourself , love your family , dont stop working , work is the main drug which can help to forget everything , choose a boyfriend and then marry.

EnglishEuropean · Answer

Masturbation is supposed to be enjoyable. It's not something you should force yourself to do. If you need to take a break to recover from the trauma, do so. Maybe get counselling when you feel ready.

NightHawk99 · Answer

Love yourself always. And remember, nothing is your fault. :)

princeofromance · Answer

You need to love yourself. You are not at fault here. Your body is yours and yours alone to do what you desire with. Do not let this scumbag get in your head. You are better than him. In closing, Move forward; and love yourself.