Is not being able to cum and losing your erection not uncommon when it comes to first time sex or being new to sex?

[Anonymous]

Just asking because this is how it was for me when I lost my virginity at 25,. It makes me feel better I know I'm not alone in a situation, when I lost my virginity, it was in the missionary position, I used a condom, when my penis was hard, erect, I went in and it was a couple of thrusts and then I lost my erection, but I know that does still count as sex right? Even if I didn't come or orgasm the first time. I haven't had that much sex since and the experiences were quite similar since that first time. I'm just wondering if this is more common than we think for guys or men.

[MTC29]

What was the situation? were you in a hotel room with plenty of time? or was this the backseat of a car, or the girls bedroom where he parents could be coming home at any minute? In my case, I was a very young man with a much older woman and in her house where we had nothing but time.

My guess is that all of your sexual encounters, starting with the first, place you under some sort of stress. Being under stress is not good for a man's sexual performance. Find a nice lady and then take her to the calmest, quietest, and relaxing resort you can find. I think you'll be amazed at how much better your performance is.

[Asker]

It was at a hotel

[MTC29]

Honestly, I'm a civil engineer and not a sex therapist. You may have a genuine problem, in which case talking with a professional could help to clear things up. You're at a great age right now (I'd give my right nut to be 30-35 again) and there's no reason to waste your youth. Call in a pro for help.

[Red_Arrow]

As a civil engineer, you should have insight into why a structure that was erected came crashing down. :-)

[MTC29]

@Red_Arrow OUCH! Seriously, this is just an online forum. Anyone with an an actual medical problem should seek professional help.

[RealMarek]

Some thoughts:

Make sure your condom is not too tight if you are well endowed.

Don’t grip too tightly when you masturbate as this can make it difficult to climax with a real woman.

Don’t watch porn, as that can make it difficult for some young men to have or keep erections with real women.

Get adequate sunlight, healthy diet, and exercise to keep testosterone levels high.

[Asker]

Sounds like it could have been performance anxiety as well, that possibly could have had an effect, but yeah if I went in and it was only just a couple of thrusts and then I became soft, I like to believe that counts as being no longer a virgin

[RealMarek]

You’re definitely no longer a virgin. Performance anxiety could be the culprit. If so the key is not worrying about it and trying again.

[Asker]

Yeah that makes me feel better

[Asker]

I've also heard that erectile dysfunction is quite common for many men, I believe that's what it's called

[RealMarek]

It was not common in younger men until recently, but porn addiction, lack of exercise, processed foods (tons of soy), etc. are suppressing testosterone levels in many younger men now.

[Asker]

I believe going several days without fapping helps a lot too

[RealMarek]

Yes, that should help.

[Anonymous]

It is common. And it still counts as sex. I have heard this from many men. It’s not uncommon at all. I think it’s related to performance anxiety, possibly autuism, possibly adhd. It’s very common and I believe can be overcome. ❤️

[Asker]

I believe Antidepressants have an effect as well

[Opinion Owner]

That is definitely possible.

[Asker]

Ya, I feel I can count on one hand on how many thrusts or penetrations it was during the few times I had sex, then subsequently lost my erection, even if it was quick like that, it should still count as sex

[Opinion Owner]

Penis in vagina counts. End of story.

[Asker]

Awesome

[Apple1996]

Could be common for first time but I have no idea. I took my husband's virginity and he came fast like in 30 seconds

[Asker]

Is he older or younger than you? My guess is, he is close to your age

[Apple1996]

Yeah he is 6 months younger then me

[Asker]

How long have you and him been together now?

[Apple1996]

Itll be 8 years in August

[Asker]

So you and him both lost your virginity at around 16 or 17

[Apple1996]

Yes around that age

[Asker]

I was 25, that felt later than the norm because historically it's been the norm for people to lose their virginity while still in their teens or just before they enter their 20s

[slatyb]

Pretty common for the first time. Don't worry about it.

[Asker]

Glad I'm not alone

[Asker]

My guess is, either that has happened to you or you know of other guys in which that did happen to them

[slatyb]

Yeah, it will quickly pass.

[Asker]

Erectile dysfunction, I believe that it's called that as well

[slatyb]

Technically, but usually ED refers to a physical condition of older men.

[Oppressed_Leecher]

don't jack it dude.
let your balls and dick replenish. after a couple days or a week you'll find your dick will be extra sensitive and ready for anything.
you'll last and it'll stay up, avoid alcohol that's know to kill boners. have a energy drink before sex, caffeine is a stimulant and help blow flow to keep your erection going. best of luck

[Oppressed_Leecher]

blood flow**

[Asker]

But yeah my experience should definitely still count as sex but just awkward sex at first, like to view or look at it as awkward sex still counts as sex

[Oppressed_Leecher]

I've never had that issue but seems like your mind is going to other places instead of focusing on her ass. I don't know energy drink has always pumped my horniness up every time. careful on those though.

[Oppressed_Leecher]

try some foreplay. have her dress in some sexy lingerie or something. use toys on her, ask her to try some of your fetishes or kinks that'll keep you hard.

[Asker]

I feel performance anxiety could have been a factor

[Oppressed_Leecher]

if she's gripping her pillow and or sheet then she's good man. the inner wall is the most sensitive so if you're in most girls will get off. just keep the flow, don't stop. do some spanking, hold on to her bok s while your pumpin. anything thatll keep you hard😅 I don't know what you're into but ask and talk with her about it. maybe she'll let you get nasty lol

[scott04sa22]

No much porn

[scott04sa22]

Too much porn

[IHateBeingaMan]

definetley more common than you think, you are definetley not a virgin, you went inside and thrusted a few times, even if you did become soft after a few thrusts

[Pterodon]

That’s extremely rare

[Slim57]

Its uncommon, happened with the only 2 girls I've been with, me and the first figured it out but me and the 2nd one never did, I tried everything but a Dr so if you plan to keep it up with her I'd go to a Dr if you've tried all the rest: different positions, pills, ring, etc

[Asker]

My guess is you've done pretty well with dating

[Slim57]

Not really

[MasterKS]

loosing erection is not common if its physical things, its health issue, because of mind you loose it sometime only make sense.