Sexual Relationships
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Married and long-term couples: what do you do to prevent sex from becoming just a routine?

In a new relationship, you spend time getting to know your partner, feeling more confident, expressing more of your desires, finding out what turns them on, and responding to their desires. But eventually, sex can settle into a routine. Boob play, hand in panties, pull down panties, oral sex, PIV in missionary or doggy, then cuddle and go to sleep.
Is this how it feels?
Is this how it feels?
It always feels good. . . but it's predictable and not so exciting. What do you do to keep it interesting and satisfying for you and your partner?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • -Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay.
    -Teasing in a variety of ways
    -Edging
    -Experiment with kinky fetish activities
    -Worship her like you’ve been apart for years and you’ve been anticipating making love
    to her the whole time.
    -Bondage, more teasing
    -Have her ride your face like a horse!
    -Massage her legs and feet. Maybe the whole body if you’ve got the strength and endurance for it.


    I could go on and on with this. The idea is to put some thought into it. BE THOUGHTFUL! Every woman has “signs” of pleasure. Although some of us are more/less direct about them than others. We all do something that will signal to you (more of this, less of that, etc.).

  • My husband signed us up for some position of the week thing, so that sends us some fun ideas to try. I get good ideas on here sometimes too.

    • I once belonged to the fruit of the month club. Sometimes it could be interesting as well.

    • I just re-read this. It’s a royally position of the day. Lol My parents were in a wine of the month club.

    • *actually

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guys

  • One thing we tried that was pretty interesting was doing a yes/no/maybe list. Google it, there are tons of different ones online. Basically it's a gigantic list of various sexual kinks, fetishes etc., and each of you go through it and cross off yes (I like or want to try this), no (I don't like this or don't want to try this) or maybe (I might). Then you compare lists and find everything with two yeses (that's basically a list of things you both want to try) or one yes and a maybe (things you can discuss). It's very revealing, but also very fun and interesting, so I absolutely recommend trying it.

  • I think there is more to this than just varying positions or adding kinks. There is also adding some romance or doing some things to communicate desire that are out of the routine.

    • What you are talking about is. . . effort!

    • Yes. It helps, and it makes sex better and more passionate.

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 18

  • Become swingers at least there doing it together unless one of them get hooked on who they're swinging with, that happens they hook up after divorcing remarrying and what do you know, back together again at weekly swingers meeting only this time sex is great cause they ain't married any more, that's real

  • We like having sex in different places.. mostly outside when the weather is nice. We also are naked about 90% of the time in our apartment which always leads to a lot of sex.

  • I've been married to my husband for almost 6 years and sex is still extremely spontaneous and wild. We are both pretty random/hyped people so it's always a mystery to what is actually gonna happen during sex. I feel like those who get bored are to deep into a routine and need to break out of it.

  • Its work I think. You must work on it just like you work on other things in the relationship.

  • We add toys we just got a blowjob machine and I got a nice dildo. We also use lingerie and roll play. It's fun we enjoy it. We pretend we are different people meeting eachother for the first time and fuck eachother like it was the fist time. I'll surprise him and take his cock out of my mouth and let him cum on my face and tits he really likes that! 😋😜

  • I think great foreplay and good communication keeps things exciting and very desirable.

  • I think addressing each others physical needs as important, but as you grow older together there are compounding stresses from outside your relationship but usually need addressed in order to get their mind off the world outside the walls of your home. I think that really helps.

  • Talk about the subject openly with each other. If it feels stale to one of you then it has to be embraced by both of you and discuss stuff you’d like to try.

  • We change positions frequently but we have been married 25 years and it is hard to keep things fresh.

  • Get yourself neutered

    • No thanks! I'm still using the equipment!

    • It that or your gonna whacking your dog more

  • Role play, being enthusiastic even if you aren't at first, and trying to make the other have the best time possible. We both know each other so well. We know what drives the other wild and how to tease them through the day. Build anticipation for the night. Make it a fun experience you want to have, don't just have sex for the sake of having it.

    Novelty is important. I know my man likes to relax after a long day of work. Sometimes if I know I don't want to have sex later, I will have his dinner ready, have the couch prepared, and his favorite show on. Wait at the door for him, kiss him, and drop to my knees to finish him against the door. He loves it and I like making him feel good. Do that once a month to keep things fresh.

  • Lingerie, sex toys, a third person etc.

  • share

    • Open marriage/relationship?

    • Open marriage

    • But only for the man. The woman needs to reserve her snatch for her husband only.

    • Show All

  • It’s still fun even after 15 years. It has been anything but routine. We just make it a priority and sometimes we schedule in advance.

  • We change it up slightly every time. Mostly we only change foreplay though.

  • Lol I'd say the most common tactic they use is to stop having it.

  • Get creative. Different places, different times, different positions, lingerie, toys, games.

  • I don't have sex too often

  • We change up the location…. sex in the car, in public places, at my work place after hours, etc. Keeps things fun, especially when it’s spontaneous.

  • Cheat. You gotta fucking cheat!

    • I hope that your partner understands that.

  • Show More (3)

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