Wokeup to my boyfriend on top of me and I feel violated? Am I being dramatic?

[Anonymous]

I am a virgin I expressed my concerns and fear from sex. My boyfriend said he would just lay there and i could do everything i can insert or do whatever makes me comfy. It made me feel good because i was scared. On that same night he was nagging all night long he said he is feeling horny he wants to at least rub me or push his dick in my ass if i am scared of vaginal sex he said i could just take of my panties and he would masturbate to my body. I said i was not feeling it and he was nagging and I constantly rejected so he said u are not horny? I just shook my head in a no and he said r u sleepy? I said yes let’s just sleep and i felt comfort because he finally let it go and came in to hug me. I felt like he understood me and i felt so much comfort i slept peacefully. I wokeup and i felt a crushing weight on top of me. I was surprised and confused i just felt a thing on me and I couldn’t move my head he had his hands around my hair and head kinda pushing me downwards I couldn’t see his face because he had his head near my shoulders he was breathing heavily on my neck and ears and he made grunting sounds. He didn’t fully penetrate me he just had the tip in and he kinda rubbed all over me. It was uncomfortable and weird and i am sure i wokeup from the sounds he was making and it took me a while to realize what was going on. I stayed there so still as i was shocked and i just looked at the ceiling it was soon that he was finished and he could probably tell i was awake because i snore when i sleep and I wasn’t snoring when i wokeup and my breathing just changed because i was panicking. He finished and he got up and said “oh babe u wokeup?” So casually? I said uh yeah i wokeup... and he just hugged me and he closed his eyes to go back to sleep, I couldn’t help but ask “what were u doing?” He said “i was masturbating...” and he went back to sleep. It was so odd he acted like nothing ever happened and im delusional he made me question myself and my sanity tbh.

[Destiel_24]

Girl, even if he’s your boyfriend there needs to be consent and if you are sleeping or don’t want to he can’t just do sexual stuff to you, it’s not being dramatic it’s speaking for yourself and trying to feel comfortable, you need to be able to feel comfortable around him and if he’s horny he can ask and if you say no then he jerks off or leaves it, feeling horny for a while won’t kill him, sex it’s not a need it’s a desire

[Anonymous]

Dump his ass and leave. If he can't respect your boundaries, even after you told him repeatedly no, then he is not good for you, and you most likely will end up hurt in the process. Also, grinding against an unresponsive, unwilling body is just... Wrong.

[Anonymous]

I get that he has urges but that only explains his behaviour, it does not excuse it.

This is clearly rapey and totally unacceptable and its just going to carry on and get worse so I suggest you get out while you can and hope that you didn't get pregnant from him cumming over your vagina or something, which is unlikely but not impossible.

[Goatmeal]

This

[The_Maphio]

Quite. He might have wanted to give you a hot wakeup such as when you girls wake us up with a blowjob.
Keep your calm, all he wants is to please you or show appreciation for how sexy you are. Yet again, if you didn't appreciate, just tell him. He won't do it again.

[Goatmeal]

No dude. Just no.

[The_Maphio]

@Goatmeal So you'd feel raped if your girlfriend woke you up with a BJ? You're an odd one, but the world is full of odd people. If she telling him no will lead to more attempts of that kind, then that'd be worrisome, but wanting to get frisky since wakeup is not abnormal in a couple. And don't "No dude, Just no" me. Add something to initiate a discussion or shut up, just as for what regards politics and lack of knowledge thereof in an earlier opinion you shared.

[Goatmeal]

It doesn't fucking matter what I would feel in that situation you dumb fuck. She is a virgin and she was not ready for it and he ignored that and did it anyway. Are you thick?

[The_Maphio]

@Goatmeal Starting by the fact that I call BS on the whole thing from a mile away, you must not have had many sexual experiences before to not know that this kind of things happen both ways. Trying to force myself to believe any of this was true, he's been a dick to wank on her even though she wasn't really ok with it, but she kind of both underreacted as she could have shoved him off and overreacted as she had a panic attack from her boyfriend having a wank on top of her. Virgin? Yeah, right. Probably in the ears. Aren't you tired of being lead by the nose by people in this board? What a dunce.

[Goatmeal]

Ah, so basically it's fine because it happens both ways, she didn't react in the way you would have preferred her to react, and anyway you don't really believe her for no discernible reason. You may be sexually experienced, but you're hardly being objective.

[The_Maphio]

@Goatmeal No you dense motherfucker. I call BS because she's telling a potential case of forced sex on a goddamn message board instead of telling this to the police. If she really felt raped, she should have told the boys in blue instead of random halfwitted goat-profiled asshole on the internet. Do you get it now? Fuck's sake, dude.

[Goatmeal]

You don't understand people very well, clearly. Good luck with that.

[The_Maphio]

@Goatmeal Tell that to me again when you'll be loaded and married, and father of at least one. Which, by the by is not just to boast a rather realized way of life, but also to denote am above average knowledge about how to interact with others in actual life and not only social networks.

[Goatmeal]

So life has blessed you with wealth and a family and you still feel the need to be an asshole to someone who was just assaulted. Wow.

[Breanna_nonbinary]

What happened to you was rape!! Anytime someone has sex without consent it is called rape. It doesn’t matter if you are boyfriend/girlfriend or husband and wife. Without expressed consent it is rape!!!

[OlderAndWiser]

Assuming that you are not a troll. . .

Yes, what he did was 100% wrong and it is a crime. You should have reported it immediately but you may still be able to prosecute him.

[MotorcycleMan]

Completely not cool.
Pressuring you is bad enough, but that was practically rape.

[EternallyCorrect]

Why are you with this weirdo? Get out, stop being an idiot.

[Agape93]

That schweinhund raped you. Go to the cops hon otherwise he’ll do it again to you or someone else. Don’t tolerate this shit and don’t let him gaslight you

[Seppel]

Is Schweinhund an English Word?

[Agape93]

It’s German

[Seppel]

I know 😂😂 I am from Germany 😂

[Agape93]

Then why did you ask such a stupid question?

[Seppel]

Why are you that unfriendly? It was only a joke

[Agape93]

Jokes are funny. Literally nothing you said is funny. I don’t like having my time wasted

[Agape93]

Besides this isn’t the place for jokes of any kind. Have some basic fucking respect.

[Aimée__LJ]

Omg no please leave him and report him that is sexual assault.

[Goatmeal]

That is fucked up. You are not being dramatic.

[KrakenAttackin]

Troll.

[The_Maphio]

Quite probably. Oddly enough on this board everyone and their dogs got raped some times or another. What a bunch of BS.

[KrakenAttackin]

@The_Maphio Yeah, it does seem like there was a big "rape party" and you and I weren't invited.

[In_Trance]

You're being dramatic

[CreamySeed]

You two sleep in the same bed and dont have sex. Wtf just fuck already your poor boyfriend gonna bounce to find someone who will love him

[EaterPeter]

You are not being dramatic.

[EnviousKatt]

If you didn't give consent, its rape, thats all you need to know

No matter if he is your boyfriend or your husband.

He cannot use you as a toy without asking you

[Jmmmfi4]

Thats sexual assault young one

[Anonymous]

so basically the piece of shit raped you after you said no to him repeatedly.

[Anonymous]

WTF that's the biggest red flag you could get