Which would you wipe your arse on?

Question

You've just met someone really hot that you're really keen to know better. They've given you their contact details written on a napkin.
However last night you had a huge vindaloo that now wishes to depart via the back exit.
After 5 mins of rectal burning hell and the loss of 5lbs you need a good wipe.

Alas there is no toilet paper and you've no way of getting any. But you have your hot dates napkin and a bunch of banknotes.

Which one do you use?

Dazed0N0Confused · Accepted Answer

Being thankful i carry napkins in my purse & in the glove compartment of the car in case of such emergencies. Too many times I've had to stop on the side of the road because my bladder or bowels couldnt make it any longer & I've had to use my panties or a sock.

But if you're making me choose, thank goodness i usually have my phone on me so i can put the info in real fast before using the napkin!

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

Well duh I'd enter his contact info into my phone and then use the napkin... Pretty smart thinking huh🤔😊

Leavesbound · Accepted Answer

It's easy. I get out my pen and re-write her number on the biggest denomination bank note. I use the napkin to clean my butt. Given my strict diet that I never stray from I rarely need a second piece of tissue. And that is if I forget to bring toilet paper with me because half the public restrooms I've been to don't and so I always keep a wad in my back pocket just in case.

Tunasub · Accepted Answer

This is why I always carry an emergency roll of sand paper. The grittyness of the sand paper really gets into the crevices. If you use regular toilet paper, napkins or money and you notice flies gathering where you sitting, remember one thing. A little sand paper goes a long way to keep the maggots out of your ass...

SamA_nold · Answer

Can I not just memorize the number? Or put it in my phone?

BlueWalker · Answer

Underwear, toss it and go commando. lol

katiesmuff · Answer

Use the napkin a new guy will soon come along!

ohshee · Answer

I'm going to use my s o c k because I only had one anyway I mean two of them go in the dryer but it's kind of funny how one of them only comes out

Lionman95 · Answer

I´d go for the money because my dates napkin is a personal gift of immaterial worth. It´s something special.

The_Maphio · Answer

I need money, I can do without a still pointless hot date. I'd most definitely wipe with the napkin.

MotorcycleMan · Answer

Am I wearing socks?

mk200195 · Answer

We have installed water sprays in our bathrooms?

Walt832 · Answer

Simple. Grab my cell phone take a picture of the contact and save it. Then use the napkin to wipe arse. 😁

goaded · Answer

You can launder money.

exitseven · Answer

I would use my underpants and throw them in the trash. I have actually done this.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Put her contact information down in my phone and then use the napkins.  Also jeez what kind of shit would you even need to have to lose 5lbs of bodyweight /=.