Sexual Relationships
+1 y

What can I do to make myself good in bed?

  • I’m a virgin and so is my boyfriend, we are thinking about doing it at some point. I’m probably one of the least experienced in sex, and I’ve never watched porn (I’m 25 this year). What can I do to make my partner as aroused as I am when having sex? I get told that the girl does nothing and the guy does all the work, but to me that seemed one sided and unfair. I also want to experience making my man orgasm, so guys what makes you orgasm? Basically, what are some tips/tricks I can learn from to make sex (and our first time) memorable/unforgettable in the best way possible? Like what can I do that will help him really enjoy being in bed with me? I want to feel like I’ve done my part. We haven’t done many sexual things yet, but I do want to be the best I can be, so any opinion is helpful for me.
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • Let's be honest, your first time may not be that great.
    Everyone is different as far as what turns them on and what work for them sexually.
    Want to get good? It takes good, honest, non-judgmental communication from both of you to find out what turns each other on. Make a list of things you think you might like or might like to try. Have him do the same. Find where you have overlap and start there. Expand a little as you go and find what feels good to each of you. Maybe you can watch some porn together to get some ideas of what you like (although many women tend to be more turned off by porn). Read some books. The Joy of Sex and the Kama Sutra will give you some ideas.
    It's all about communication, which of course given the subject matter can be a little awkward and there is the fear that he won't like what you do, but it's ok, it's all about discovery. If your partner wants to do something that you don't, you can't say "Eww Gross!", just say it's not something that interests you right now and move on to other things. Create a safe place to discuss.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Don’t overthink it because he’s inexperienced too and part of the fun is learning together what each of you likes. Porn is a fine tool but it’s staged and some of things depicted in it aren’t always realistic or even pleasurable. That being said, I learned how to give good blowjobs by watching porn and you can see various sexual positions demonstrated that you might try with your boyfriend. You can learn from it. The best way to please him though is to just ask him what turns him on. If he’s not sure, then experiment with different sex positions. Try talking dirty to him. Don’t always have sex in the bedroom. Change the setting occasionally to spice it up. Maybe buy something sexy at Victoria Secret to wear for him. Use your imagination. See what you both respond to. Your first time is always memorable no matter what. Giving something so intimate to another person for the first time is a big deal. So no matter what you do that first time, it will be unforgettable to him. You’ll both be nervous and he won’t last very long that first time, so don’t think you have to put on a show. Just try to relax as much as possible and let it happen naturally. The first time you probably will want to stick with the basic missionary position so you can be face to face with him during the special moment. Reassure him that you want it. After you’ve had sex a few times, you become more confident in yourself to start exploring new things. You don’t have to know everything all at once. As long as you are open to trying things and having fun with it, you’ll both organically discover positions and techniques that you like.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Some things I like:

    I like when she licks and sucks on my ears.
    I like when she tickles my back, face or chest or butt. You know the kind I'm talking about, those soft gentle tickles that send tingles all over your body.
    I love when she rubs her butt or pussy all over my face. I love when she lets me play with her hair.
    I love when she suck so my balls or, slaps them around.
    I love when she sucks hard on my nipples. I love when she licks all over my face.
    I love when she acts like being with me is the most wonderful thing in the world.
    If you are giving oral you should make the guy feel like you are thrilled that you get to put it in your mouth. Tell him what you like. Tell him where to kiss and lick or invite him to explore with his mouth.
    If you want it to last longer vary how fast or slow you do things even to the point of repeatedly stopping just when he is getting close.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 10

  • Lol who tells u women do nothing thats true if u want to have bad sex lol generally speaking just communicate whilst doing it as u guys will like new things or differnt things also maybe watch some porn just to go over possible positions just understand porn not 100% real

  • Watch some porn, have sex with your boyfriend.

  • Some things come to mind...
    1. Porn is all fake. If you watch enough of that depravity you'll start to believe it. Surely not the place to learn about good romantic sex.
    2. You don't need to do anything to get either of you aroused. Just show up and be enthusiastic.
    3. Be sure to have birth control - you two don't need an unwanted pregnancy. Yet.
    4. There are not 'tricks'. Just be comfortable, engaging, willing.
    5. No, the guy doesn't do all the work. You can take turns too. Try all the positions, see what you two like.
    6. Quit trying so hard, it's just silly. Sex is not competitive, it's supposed to be romantic and fulfilling. Make sure you know how to orgasm - how to get yourself off. This way you can show and tell. Some women have no idea, but then expect their partner to know.
    7. He orgasms from stroking his dick - with whatever ya got. But your vagina is the best.

    Relax and enjoy. Don't make this a contest, you'll be sorry.

  • Don’t concentrate on that work on your career

  • Start watching porn together and be open to trying new things in bed.

  • yeah, no, don't be a deadfish lol

    • Not planning on it, I feel that would be crap lol

    • it definitely would, you need to be active, to listen to what he like and all also, foreplay is really important

  • He's a virgin so his first time with you will be memorable, because it'll be his first time.

  • Guys do almost always orgasm. You don't have to do something special

  • you can have virtual sex and gain experience

  • Is he the same age as you?

  • Wrap your legs around him during missionary and kiss his neck and shoulders, be enthusiastic and moan a little bit as you feel good

  • Enjoy yourself! Do what you need to make yourself orgasm! The thing that makes me enjoy sex most is seeing my girlfriend have an orgasm!

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