Sexual Relationships
+1 y

How to bring up the topic of getting more sexual to girlfriend?

Bit of background-
Me and girlfriend are very new to relationships and I'd like so get a bit more hands on with her, not necessarly looking intercourse at this point but just want to get a bit more "personal" with her. We are both a bit awkward around this sort of thing but I'm more confident around this as I've been in a few relationships before her, she is way more awkward than me and sometimes would just kind of dismiss a text from me if it's a bit sexual or I'm trying to tease her, she's just not used to all this stuff which is why I want to talk to her about it without it getting weird. Any tips or stories would be greatly appreciated.
How to bring up the topic of getting more sexual to girlfriend?
0 2

Superb Opinion

  • first off if you have to ask then its best to tell you don't do anything. Just hang out, get to know who she is. What she likes, what her dreams are, who she wants to be when she is not living at home. where does she dream about living , where she gets inspiration from , what she likes about you, How she feels about anything and everything. Get to know her grand parents, talk to her dad, talk to her mom. Now get to know you. let her know you. Now imagine you have a daughter , imagine some guy asking us how to get more sexual with your daughter., imagine what you say to him or worse what we might tell him to try with her. Now that is some ones daughter. that's is some ones future wife, Yours maybe , maybe not. when you both are ready for any level of sexual conversations, or physical contact that is sexual you will both know it and you won't have to ask. But always , always ask her what she wants and respect her decisions. Never ever assume she wants it , or that she is just confused or she will like it and be okay with it. Lastly and yet most importantly never ever use a vacuum to practice especially with the curtains open for your friends and family to see , im just saying this for your safety and reputation. ... damn hoover vacuums anyway

Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok, well I can give you a couple pointers. Now, obviously this doesn’t work all the time. Either she wants to or not.
    Put in a movie. Put your arm around her about 15 mins in. Then without even asking, tell her to sit down in front of you on the couch. That you are going to give her a back rub. Rub her back, shoulders, neck and do a good job. Get a nice hard grip on the back. Not too hard on the shoulders or neck, but hard enough.


    Then do this, though it doesn’t have to be necessarily in this order. Slowly move your hands around to the front while you’re massaging and start feeling her titties. You have to be smooth about it too, like you are doing this for her own good. If you are feeling lucky, go under her shirt, unhook her bra. If you want then, you can lay her on her back pull up her shirt and start sucking on them or do other things.


    Say you didn’t go under her shirt. You then take her hair and lift it up and start kissing the back of her neck, kiss her ear, give it a small bite, blow in her ear. You can even softly start moaning yourself. It shows her that you are really enjoying it. That you are putting effort in. Women like that.


    You can also grab her by her hair and pull her head back firmly, but not too hard and start kissing her neck. When you pull her head back, you can even throw in a “You like that?”


    Give it 15 seconds and if she hasn’t turned around and started kissing you back, then you do it.


    Make sure you smell good. Get yourself some of that Aqua Di Gio Giorgio Armani cologne. Women get really wet from that. Always keep your mouth and teeth in tip too shape. Your body too.


    69 is a good one too. That’s more advanced. Stick with this for now.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I would just kinda go with the flow but also I think you may need to ask with what she's comfortable with doing. She maybe be new to all of this. I didn't have my first kiss till I was 14 and lost my virginity at 16. I would've loved in my experience if the guy just took the lead without forcing anything. I would have the boundaries talk with her. Just so you're on the same page. Hope this helps

  • I don't understand why women turn down sex so much. I never tell my man no unless I don't feel well of course. I'm always down for a good time. I would say to her, you make me so horny I want and need you now and see what she says. I would be jumping for it

    • it doesn't sound like she has a lot of experience and just wants to take it slow, which is fine. Has to be consensual from her end

    • Of course. Sex can be a very difficult topic

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

If women don’t enjoy penetration then why do they like sex?
What makes someone of opposite sex good in bed for you?
Is getting a circumcision the right answer in my case?
What is the safest way to dispose a used condom that was not your husband?

What Girls & Guys Said

3 11

  • Hmm... How physical are you in non-sexual ways? Are you at the "snuggling together under the blanket while watch X on TV" point? Or the "placing a comfort arm around one another's shoulders"? Being more comfortable with more... well, it's not really platonic, but non-sexual, forms of touch can make the transition easier, but the ease with which people do this is down first and foremost to their personalities. If you're not at that point yet, how do you think she'd react if you reached out and placed a supportive hand on her arm in conversation, for example? Think of where you are as a couple and what she's (and you; don't forget yourself in all this) like as an individual.

    • Very very helpful, didn't quite look at it that way, I've just been taking it slow with her because like I said she's very shy and new to all of this, she's just a wee awkward individual in general tbh haha. Also just to note I'm not with her just for the sexual stuff, it's something serious. Thanks again :)

    • Oh, I figured it was something serious; that's generally what makes it more anxiety-inducing. Hope it helps.

  • Take it slow. Ask her what she is comfortable with. Tell her how beautiful she is and how much you care about her and want to get closer to her.

  • It is ok to talk about sex after all. Is it because she is a virgin and nervous? Maybe start out by talking about what each of you like in a relationship and then ask her if she would like to take the physical part to the next level.
    Have you two fooled around at all like touching, kissing , handjob etc?

  • Just whatever you do, DON’T force it on her. If she ever says “no” or “stop it”, then comply.

  • I love the muppet photo.

    • Surely coffee is the stronger stiff drink needed 😋😋😋

  • Just take it slow.
    Get to know her better and try to read her body language.
    Pick some movies that are a little risque, see how she reacts, if she squirms or looks at you when something kinky is happening in the movie.
    Don't rush it.
    Also, masturbate before you spend time with her so your sexual tension is lesser. You'll be thinking more with the correct head and not the one that wants to start trouble.

  • just here to listen to everyone else's opinion because im just as clueless as you.

  • Try massage. Nothing too kinky, start with back, hands and legs. Better to be comfortable with each other before advancing.

  • Hold on i understand, you are horny. But what foes Kernet with a bottle of Jack have to do with your question. And yet i lsugh my ass off. Thank you

  • Ask her if she ever thinks of getting more physical with you. If she's shy, give her some examples. You could ask her if he's thought about touching each other or getting naked.

  • Start by telling her you love her so much. Try to show that you care so much for her, how honest you are , you know that usual emotional things. Girls will believe you easily.

  • Does she even want to get sexual before marriage? Are you both virgins? I dont know. Usually things like that should be talked it does not matter how shy the person is. Just talk to her.

  • You and her are both in your teens I assume

  • Don't talk about it. Simply start to get more passionate in a way that allows her an opportunity to tell you to stop if she doesn't want to go forward. She is too shy to talk but not necessarily to shy to follow her feelings if she gets aroused.

    • That's actually really good advice thanks, now it's just how I go about doing that now that I'll struggle with, not used to having a shy girlfriend haha.

Latest Questions

Sexually frustrated, am I in the wrong?
I caught my girlfriend reading erotica on her ipad -- should I be concerned?
How to stop feeling self conscious about my butt?
Girls- Do you like to swallow a guys cum or is it nasty?
Home >  Sexual Relationships  > How to bring up the topic of getting more sexual to girlfriend?