Sexual Relationships
+1 y

I hooked up with a guy and now a girl is slut-shaming me, what do I do?

Last week my friend Abbey invited me to see some local metal bands with her. I was excited to watch live music, after Covid. Abbey is friends with one of the bands, and some of their fans. This crowd are all metalhead guys and girls. I don't own any rock chick outfits, so I wore a black top, denim shorts, and heels. Abbey's friend Carly said I was "bold" to dress like that at a metal gig, which irritated me. The band were great, and Abbey introduced me to them and they seemed like really nice boys. We went to the drummers house for an afterparty, and on the walk there I talked to the bassist, Steve. Carly gave me evil looks. At the house we were in the living room doing shots, and I sat on Steve's lap. Other guys there started rating the girls on who had the best chests. Abbey, Carly and other girls went along with it, and actually took their tops and bras off. Carly sarcastically said to me, "are you not joining in?" which made me feel singled out. They stayed topless for the rest of the party, which obviously the guys liked. I kept my top on, but I felt isolated, cos if it hadn't been for Carly, I probably would have been OK to do it. After chatting to Steve for ages, we went to a bedroom. I told him I didn't want to have sex, because I don't do that outside a relationship, but I'd be happy to give a blowjob. I did it, we exchanged numbers, went back downstairs. When Carly left she yelled out that I was a slut. This made me feel shit about myself. Abbey said ignore her, and that Carly often gets jealous. Steve has invited me to the band's next gig and after-party this weekend, and I really want to go, but Carly will be there. To make it worse, she has texted Steve offering him a blowjob after the gig. I don’t want a confrontation with Carly but I think it would be a great night, and I would like to get to know Steve better. A couple of other friends have said they would come with me to support me, but I don't know if that would wind up Carly more. Should I go?
Updates:
+1 y
Update: so it’s 6:30am right now and I just got home from the after party. What a night! The gig was great, Steve was super attentive to talking to me. Carly was wearing the exact outfit I wore last week which made me chuckle. So much for the rock chick look haha. My friends came along too and they had a really great time. I did my thing for Steve and it was hot af, and a couple of my friends did the same for some of the guys in the band as well. Carly didn’t try a single thing to upset me!
+1 y
Urgh now Carly is on Facebook telling people I “stole” a guy she has liked for months ffs
2 2

Most Helpful Girls

  • She definitely is jealous! Only you can make the choice or not which will best suit you! It makes me laugh how she slut-shamed you, but is literally OFFERING the same, you and Steven chatted and connected, you set boundaries, and by the way it sounded, he respected those. For her to slut-shame you and then offer Steven a blowjob afterwards makes me think she's treating it as a competition between you two, as well as being a complete desperate bitch😂

    If you go to the party, whatever you do, do NOT show her she's getting to you, smile, laugh and have the BEST time... even if you go home and cry afterwards, do not let her see you getting down because of any of her spiteful words. And if she keeps at it, give her a hard time too! If she mentions to Steve in front of you about doing anything with him, make a snide comment like "let me know how I taste" or "don't forget to wipe my lip gloss off of him first before you get your grubby mough round his cock" 😂

    P. S. Fuck this Carly girl, what an asshole!😂😂😂

    • Mouth not mough🙈😂

    • Awww thank you Hun that was super nice of you and I think you hit the nail on the head. One of my friends has now told me he is gonna accept a blowjob from her although he told me the opposite but like you say I don’t know it that is just someone talking shit to make me insecure, when my instincts while spending time with him were really good and that he was a good guy. The boys in the band were all really nice and someone like Carly is using that to get attention in a really negative competitive way. I don’t know why girls can’t club together on stuff like this in the way that guys do. My friends that I’m bringing tonight have suggested that we all get topless and in that regard we aren’t competitive at all it’s just like wooo let’s have fun as a group!

    • I laughed out loud at the wipe my lipgloss off his cock first 😂 I am so gonna say that if the situation warrants it!!

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  • Ignore Carly or whatever her name was, she’s just bitter. You should enjoy yourself and if you wanna go and hang out with the dude then do it.

    • Aw thank you. The response on gag has been super nice and really improved my confidence about it. Since posting the question I’ve now arranged to bring 3 other girls with me tonight so we’re gonna be representing for the dressy girls haha and I’ve texted Steve and just point blank asked him if I can give him another bj!!

    • Yes girl!!🥳 Hopefully that’ll make that bitch more jealous while you’re having the best time ever😉

    • 🤘🤘🤘I’ve talked to my friends and we’re gonna wear matching outfits of short skirts and heels, and we’ve even talked about maybe all getting topless at the after party cos I felt sad about not joining in last time, but with my girls with me I’ll feel better about doing it plus it will a cool thing to do for the band to say thank you for the show!

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What Girls & Guys Said

24 20

  • Simple: You tell that whore to shut her whore mouth. If you feel you’ve made a mistake then move on and learn from it. She isn’t GOD, nature, or the universe…. no one assigned her to be judge over you to dictate your feelings. But maybe don’t call her a whore.

    • Hahaha I would love to say that to her but I don’t want to lower myself to her level. But cos Steve isn’t yet my boyfriend yet I can’t tell her to back off, I don’t know if he’s accepted her offer of a bj yet, cos I heard about it from Abbey. hopefully he will say no

  • In case you didn't know, giving a blow job IS having sex.

  • Too late to give my opinion, but just wanted to say you did the right thing for yourself by going and I'm glad it turned out to be an amazing night for you! Good for you girl, seriously!

    • Thank you babe for being so nice. I was worried I’d maybe gone too overboard in response but yeah the people on gag gave me the confidence to go to the second gig for sure. It feels great to party like that after 18 months off. Hbu you got any parties planned? Xx

    • GaG is full of some great people😊 i used to be a partier and 2 years back I stopped having the urge but I love to dance so I'm hoping to go out drinking and dancing this weekend!! Lol

    • That’s awesome! Hope you have a great time! Gonna try to meet some guys or are you taken hun? ☺️

  • Women who call other women sluts or whores like that have their own issues they are dealing with. I wouldn't think twice about her and what she thinks or says. He opinion is invalid. Only thing that matters is how you feel about yourself. The fact you didn't have sex shows you have some restraint and value of yourself. I wouldn't worry about it.

    • Thank you 😊 that’s really helpful and I definitely feel like I haven’t devalued myself in this. It’s hard to be the better person but worth it

  • Ignore Carly, sounds like a bitch. Go get Steve and see if it works out

    • Thank you 😊 do you think I should go to the next gig and just act like Steve is already my boyfriend? Do you think I should bring my friends along I mentioned? It’s a fine line for me really cos on one hand I don’t want to argue back if she starts something, but I also don’t want people to think I’m not a strong character if I say nothing to her

    • Well... I don’t think you and Steve have properly established what you two are so it might be different for him. But that’s why you can go to the next gig, get to know Steve and know for sure what your relationship will be and if there even is a relationship. Yeah you can take your friends, it’ll be fun and I’m sure you’ll feel more comfortable. Try and be the bigger person and ignore Carly, I don’t think she’ll cause problems but she sounds like the jealous type so who knows?

    • Thank you 😊 you sound like you give really good advice - your friends are really lucky xx

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  • Carly is just jealous. Ignore her.

    • Carly needs to check herself before she wrecks herself.

    • I know it just never ends aaargh she didn’t make a move on him before last weeks offering so it’s hardly me stealing him

    • You didn’t steal, she’s just a jealous-ass bitch.

  • She's obviously jealous! Well she was topless in front of the band and that is slutty too. Seems like she has insecure issues and just wants attention from the guys. Since she offer to give head to the guy you gave head to also which is gross seems like she is competing with you too. I would not worry about her

    • Thank you 😊 😊I’m gonna leave the house to go to the gig in a minute - I’m xcited and nervous too

  • Sounds like she is used to being the centre of attention and is attention seeking.

    it also looks like she is trying to be the one calling the shots in front of the ‘guys’ or anyone else.

    Also looks like she has a huge jealous streak where any of the above is messed with.

    This to be sounds like a girl that would be toxic and go for really petty but nasty revenge, taking a photo of you fucking a guy or blowing him, then posting it all over.

    I would really really watch yourself around her,

    these types do not like being usurped, hence her raising the stakes by offering a bj up front,

    that type also tend to lead everyone else in to dangerous situations.

    • Yeah you’re definitely right about the usurp thing - knowing I’m going into the situation with more friends this time is making me feel like I Can deal with the drama better, I’m just gonna make sure I don’t drink so much that I’m not in control

    • Drink… watch your drink, I’ve seen girls spike other girls drinks out of jealousy, spite etc. Basically go in defensive, never a bad thing. Also having been in situations like you described, make sure you have very clear boundaries in place, it’s amazing how erm stuff can escalate lol. It’s not for shy people

  • no, stop taking drugs and going to parties with people you don't know.

    Arrange a date with Steve, stay away from Carly. He went for you because you kept your value high. keep doing that, or else you become the next one "thrown to the roadside".

    Go for a hike instead.

    • Thank you for saying I kept my value high. I don’t do drugs though.

    • "shots"

    • As in drinking shots of tequila, vodka or whatever. I know alcohol is technically a drug but I wouldn’t count someone who drinks as “doing drugs” and I don’t think most people would

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  • Yes you should go & that Carly chick is just jealous that you were you & got attention moreso than she did. You be you & do what makes you comfortable.

    • Thank you 😊 you gave me the positivity about it that I needed today! I’ll let you know how it goes if you like x

    • Of course! Id love to hear about it! Dont let others bring you down! Go have a good time! If she starts hating, you can always throw a drink in her face while telling her to fuck off!

    • Hahah I might well do that to her if it kicks off. I’ve been texting some of my other friends and they’ve agreed to come so I don’t feel so isolated, they also aren’t used to partying with metalhead guys so hopefully should be a fun night!

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  • Sounds like she is jealous.

  • I think you should go and have fun. Don’t let that girl dictate things. It sounds like she’s jealous and bitter anyway.

    • Thank you 😊 I don’t get why she is like that tbh cos I never was anything other than nice to her on the couple of times we’d met before. Abbey thinks it’s because of how I dress, but I thought the whole point of their rock scene was not to judge people by how they dress. Lol 🤪

  • It's only natural that a friend would want to give you advice in a situation like that and I hope... You know assume she wants the best for you and your to be safe sexually and to take precaution because of Covid. But with that being said Carly is it, shouldn't slut shame you you're here friend not a slut. It's ok for her to give you advice but don't judge you just be there for you if you if or when you need her and have your back. But friends don't judge each other tell her to tell you the honest to God truth and you'll take her advice under consideration but again friends don't judge each other if you wanted to be judged you would have gone to your worst enemy for advice.

  • I don't understand why. I love a good one night stand done even know their name. I don't think women should be slut shamed because they enjoy sex with multiple people I see nothing wrong with it as long as your safe about it

    • Thank you Hun!!

    • @tiptoetamm you would know my name

    • Yes I would I know your name

  • This chick has serious issues and is jealous of you
    Don't let it faze you it's her issue... to me a slut is someone banging a bunch of guys at the same time... you just were after one guy. . and he seems to like you too
    She is just butt hurt. Rise above knowing your better

    • Thanks babez! I feel a lot less worried than I did when I first posted it. You got any parties planned as the restrictions start lifting? Xx

    • Nah... I'm all partied out. I'm gonna take my kids camping for a week somewhere this summer. But mostly working. You?

    • Aw ok haha I felt partied out before covid but I’ve been desperate to get back to it. Next one will be Steve’s bands next show I think, and I’ve been telling all my friends about how lit it was and more of them want to come. If you were in the U. K. and not partied out I’d say come along haha

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  • Cut ties with her

  • Hey, it's your personal life and definitely your choice. Tell her to slut shame men equally, she is misogynistic for sure.
    It's not like that you stole her lover and f**ked with him.

  • Why didn’t you get him to do it back to you?

    You like him don’t you? Giving him a bj the first night almost never works if you do.

    But all that being said, yeah, I think you should go.

    • At this point I’m not even sure I definitely want a relationship, I just couldn’t help myself after so much time in lockdown not having any contact with guys like that. I know it’s easy to offer a bj that quick but I just really really wanted to do it - I think seeing him play live in the band had a lot to do with it as well, wanting to do something purely for him as a bit of appreciation from a new fan maybe? I don’t know haha I don’t normally do this kind of thing, like I say lockdown has made me feel like I don’t know up from down. Him going down on me is something I have to wait a long time before I feel comfortable enough, if we’re gonna work toward a relationship

    • But thank you for the answer though! I do really want to go, and I’ve been texting friends all night who didn’t go to the first one and we’re gonna be representing for the non-metalhead dressy girls haha!

    • Go for it!!! And don’t feel bad about sucking him again if you want to.

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  • Ignore her!

    • Thanks Hun! It’s difficult to ignore being insulted but I’m gonna try and rise above it and have fun

  • Go and fuck every man in Carly's life...

    Start with her Dad!..
    Give him a nice blowjob.. And then find his brother and suck his dick...
    If possible if her sister or mother is bisexual or wiling to do..
    Fuck them too...

    When Carly finds out..
    Tell her.. "Hey you called me a slut" I had to prove it...

    Best if you fuck the man she love most!..
    Her crush or someone she really trusts like her best friend

    • Hahahaha brilliant, her brother is actually quite handsome...

    • Go for it.. Have fun.. And if her brother is handsome.. I am pretty sure her dad is fuck able.. Fuck her dad.. And become her new mom!.. 😂🤣 Than you can order her around...

    • Trust me if she sees that you will wreck her house.. She will apologize for calling you a slut and beg you to stop..

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