Sexual Relationships
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I think my daughter perform oral sex on a guy she asked me about oral sex should I tell her father about this?

1 3

Superb Opinion

  • You're her mother, you should be able to handle this woman to little woman. Bringing dad in will only make her lose her trust in you & you will never be the one she goes to again, but rather friends, friends family members, older kids, people online & so on.
    Dad shouldn't get involved until after you learn if she had performed a sexual act on a male that would be considered a criminal act.
    Ask yourself these questions before considering if the aftermath of the sexual act is criminal:
    1. Her age vs His age
    2. Your local & state/Providence laws regarding sex of a minor.

    Ask yourself if its really worth getting dad involved if you find that the act isn't criminal:
    1. What age did "I" start performing sexual acts?
    2. What did i wish i knew when i first became sexually active? What advice do i wish my mom gave me?
    3. What could dad say when he doesn't know what it's like to be a hormonal, teenaged girl?
    4. What am i going to do if my child is sexually active? I could tell her the risks & tell her the consequences she will face if she doesn't practice safe sex (ie. Giving up her schooling & childhood & fun times such as friend when you get pregnant & decide to keep the baby when not deciding to give the child up for adoption or having an abortion. STIs she could obtain & so on) or should i try & forbid her & close off this trust she has in me?

    My mother & I are close, so talking about sex was something we bonded over. She gave me all the tips & advice i could ever need as a teen who began to be sexually active. From condoms, to the risk of UTIs for both parties, to STIS, to anal, to what her thoughts were on abortion, to peer pressure, to rape, to grooming & so much more.

    She later admitted to me, now that im grown, that it was one of the scariest conversations she's ever had, but she said she would rather it all come from her & that i went to her for this information & advice, rather than getting my advice from peers or creeps online.

    • Im scared im tell her what i liked and she be into that :/

    • She might be into the same things, she might not be, those are her preferences. You dont have to tell her NOW what you like or dont like, but telling her that if it doesn't feel "good" or "right" after a minute or two, that something is probably wrong, such as not being adequately aroused or they need her to adjust more or what have you. Tell her she has every right to say "no" & to tell her partner to "stop" & if they must comply or face criminal charges. You dont need to tell her that your into BDSM or Pet Play or Sucking on Toes, or Temperature Play or whatever your kinks/fetishes are. She'll discover those on her own & may ask questions later, but right now i doubt she's thinking about that. If she has questions about positions & how things feel, i see no issue in telling her about it. Like in regards to anal sex how she needs to be prepped thoroughly first & lots of lube (NOT spit, NOT cooking oils, NOT soap, NOT lotion, SPECIFICALLY designed sexual lube!). How uncomfortable sex CAN BE (not will be) her first time. I grew up in a very sex positive household, so these conversations were normal to me.

    • If all moms were like yours, the world would be a better safer place for girls/women!

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • If she’s asking you about it then just have the decency to explain.. why does her father need to know? If she wanted to hear it from him then she wouldn’t have asked you.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Do you have the kind of relationship where your daughter feels that she can talk to you guys about things honestly without you getting mad at her? Would your husband get mad at her? That wouldn't be helpful. It would just push her away.

    In your relationship with your husband, you could tell him. But I wouldn't advise him talking to her about it because she would find it embarrassing. You, as a woman, could talk to her, though. Have a "facts of life" talk with her. Find out where she is at regarding sex. Find out what her friends are telling her. Make sure she knows the possible risks of STDs, etc. But be realistic about the fact that blowjobs are a normal part of sex. There's nothing inherently wrong with giving blow jobs. There's no shame. But you can also explain that boys will take advantage of girls and sucking dick isn't a way to make a boy like her.

  • I'm not sure it is wise to do that. First of all you don't know for sure that she did. She may only be thinking about doing it. I suggest you have a long talk about the subject leaving emotions aside. Ask her well crafted questions designed to encourage her to reveal if she has done this and make sure you emphasize the risks involved. I would look up a list of diseases you can catch by doing this and then obtain photos of the mouths of people with such diseases and show them to her. Assuming you didn't have her until you were over 18 and your profile age is correct then she is between 12 and 17 and that is both an impressionable age and one too young to be sucking cock.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 26

  • If a girl asked you about oral sex then she likely trusts you as most kids wouldn't do that at all. I highly doubt it is an issue unless she is under like 16. If she is, you may want to let him know but you should explain that if he outright asks her about it that you'll break some trust your daughter has with you thus lowering the chance she'll come to you for help is something serious comes up.

  • No, you should keep secrets from your husband so he can be pissed at both of you when he later learns about this.

  • You are her mum, you should sit down and talk to her,

    she should be able to be open with you.

    Keep your husband out of this,

    you and her simply talk about it.

    take it gentle and do not accuse or shame.

    • Okay i guess :/

    • Look, I am a parent and I have had conversations with my daughter, Some shit in life just happens, as a parent we are there to be there when needed. Simply have this discussion with her. Do not simply ask her, try and have her open up about it. Take it slow, ask if she needs to know anything else. At 13, she should have been told about pretty much everything, from pregnancy to STD’s etc, Is that last bit correct?

    • She hasn't had that talk with anyone I know at least yet.

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  • For right now this is between you and your daughter she came to you seeking knowledge and being honest with you and this is a bonding moment you don't need to bring her father into it where he's going to freak out and then she's going to lose within you he'd had a long talk with her and tell her what you feel

  • First sit down and have a long talk with her. I think we would both agree 13 is way too young. Who was the guy? I would tell your husband... you are a team and married people should not keep secrets from each other.

  • Geez, who said women never jump to conclusions?

  • Talk to her honestly and non-judgmentally first.

  • Don't assume! She may just be curious and wants to know what it's all about. i once heard one girl ask, "Where does all the air go?"
    "What air?"
    "When you blow his dick."
    "You don't blow, you suck!"

    • Lol. more like do all dicks cum?

    • ;-) Yeah, if you play with them the right way.

  • You're saying she was groomed? Should be calling police

  • Why can’t you just talk to her?

    • Cause im scared she say yes

    • even if she does say yes, I think it’s better for you to have a conversation with her about it than her dad. Imagine how awkward it’d be for her to talk to her dad about sex and also how she would lose trust in you. Don’t do that to her. Let her feel like she can trust you enough to tell you those things and you have to learn how to be there for her and give her advice.

    • by the way I’m not tryna sound passive aggressive I’m sorry if it comes across like that😅

  • Well ma'am, I guess you can tell her father ,
    And if that's uncomfortable then you should handle the situation by yourself,
    Talk with her like a friend,
    Try to know what actually is happening,
    Then convince her to avoid those things..
    Then see it works or not.

  • If you think it will do anything. What do you think her father can or will do about it? Seriously.
    She's learning how to use her sex to manipulate. Where'd she learn THAT from?

  • How old is the daughter and how old was the recipient?

  • You think? Don't assume unless you have proof.
    How is your daughter? Maybe you ask her?

  • If she can't trust her mom who can she trust?

    • I don't know :/

  • It depends on her age, on the consequences. I would avoid getting her dad involved.

  • No, no need to tell him. It's none of his business. She gave you her trust and you need to keep that.

  • why would you do that?

    • I'm scared she is :/

    • well, she's entering puberty, it's normal that she is intersted in sex. she need guidance and advice !

  • Yeah if you’re 30-35 she’s probably too young to be having sex resolve it yourself though

  • Would you wanna hear about you son eating pussy?

    • No :/

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