Talking to sister about her Sexuality?

[Anonymous]

so I'm 35 my sister is 30 and lives with parents including my very homophobic dad.
my sister has never had a boyfriend or girlfriend that i know of. but when my dad goes off on a homophobic rant she gets noticeably uncomfortable. more so then you'd expect from someone who's lived around him 30 years. i asked my bisexual friends opinion she believes my sister maybe gay but repressed.

My friend has offered to take my sister out (the two know each other fairly well) and talk to her about her sexuality so she can support her with it f needs be.
BUT i have 2 issues should i be the one to talk to my sister instead? And i'm a little worried my friend may try and shall i put it explore sexuality.

should i be the one to talk or let my friend do it but stress to her not to try or let anything sexual occur or just trust my friend to do what's best with no input from me? I do trust my friend highly but as a brother there is that linger in my mind about should i or shouldn't i put conditions on the manner in which she helps my sister.

Just for clarity i will support my sister no matter what

[ChrisMaster69]

Does your sister know your friend very well?

do you know what your sisters social life is?

unless the answer to the above is yes, consider a different approach.

opening up to a ‘stranger’ but known to a family member can be hard, knowing the family member will be told all details.

Also your comment about your friend may try and explore it sexually, irrespective of sexuality, people simply do not jump in to bed with each other, even if your sister is a lesbian, she may not be attracted to her.

you need to have a mature talk to her, away from your toxic father. You can then suggest a talk to your friend. You can’t set your sister up by not saying why she is going with your friend. Basically you don’t get out of being involved. Yes your friend will know how to cover specifics however your are her brother.

have chat with sister, she needs to agree to this.

your friend has a chat to your sister.…

my sister came out at 16, I know a couple years earlier.

[Asker]

the two get on well. not that my friend would tell me a thing and i wouldn't ask her to. sister doesn't really have a social life she's a carer for my parents when not at work. why i don't know but she's not out at the bars etc she has set things she does but to call them social gatherings would be a stretch. she spends most her outings with sophie (not her actual name but my bi friend) so its more a case of do i talk my self or say anything to sophie other then look i'm worried about this can you offer some support to her if she needs it etc

[ChrisMaster69]

There is also the chance your sister is Asexual, if she’s lived in a toxic household for so long it would not surprise me. Let your friend talk to her, leave them to it. However I would have thought this would have been covered ages ago if they go out socially. I go out with my friends, including both bi girls and lesbian, we will comment on various girls we find hot or different and attractive. We will literally sit in a coffee shop and people watch, jab each other when we see a ‘like this one’ Which is how I would expect your bi friend being with your sister.

[Avicenna]

Well, who’s your sister going to be most comfortable with discussing such a topic?

[Asker]

that's the million dollar question and one i don't know the answer too. logically another female seems the best option someone non family (we have a male gay cousin who i work with and hang around with so she knows I've no hang ups about sexuality but is a brother really the first one she wants to talk too when we lived with the same homophobic father for 25 years together.

[Yanifah]

Your friend has been in your sister's shoes. She'll be able to relate in a way you never could.

Why do you think your friend will pursue a physical relationship with your sister? Has she alluded to being attracted?

I think it's highly unlikely given the gravity of the situation.

[Asker]

i trust my friend i do but there is always as a brother that little bit at the back of the head that nags. my friend (I'll call her sophie for simplicity not her real name.) Sophie is pretty open and has no filter she just says what she thinks that has included openly telling a girl she wanted to bed her before. i think your right i strongly doubt she would do that with my sister but that nags always there

[Yanifah]

I think the benefits outweigh the perceived risk.

[Asker]

inclined to agree

[Iron_Man]

Why can’t the both of you find normal girlfriends and boyfriends

[Asker]

I'm not quiet sure i understand your point? I have a girlfriend but I'm not sure how that's relevant