Bondage fantasies with partner?

[Anonymous]

So to keep this brief; I have a bondage fetish. I wish I didn’t, but it’s something I’ve had since I was young. I’ve fantasized about introducing into my sex life with my girlfriend. I have these fantasies in which she’s bound and gagged tightly, either for foreplay or during actual sex. Really weird, I know. I’m ashamed of these fantasies honestly.

Should I just ignore it? Or should I try to introduce bondage to my partner? Do any of you guys/gals have experience with any of this?

[ChrisMaster69]

Yeah basically don’t.

if you are going to, you need to have 100% trust from your girlfriend, she sets the rules, the boundaries and what is allowed or not.

a very simple start is to use bondage cuffs (Velcro)
then run a lightweight easy break cord under the bed or secure to head board.

you cannot and do not jump straight in to full scale bondage.

There are very good beginner guides and you need to follow the safe route and not risk and limits route.

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/bondage-guide#10-bondage-positions-for-beginners
https://www.buzzpinky.com/blog/the-ultimate-guide-to-bdsm-and-bondage-for-beginners-/

You also need some safe rope shears or similar, not a knife lol

[Asker]

She does trust me, the issue is that I don’t want to pressure her or make her feel uncomfortable or think that I’m weird.

[ChrisMaster69]

Know she trusts the vanilla you. You have not earned her trust yet. HUGE difference She does not know if you are responsible, does not know if you know how to tie her safely, shit loads of stuff. BDSM Trust and Vanilla trust are completely different You need a lot of trust to let someone run a razor blade or sharp knife down their arm to draw blood, or to use rope that could easily dislocate a shoulder etc.

[Lowiu]

If you both trust each other well you could tell her about it and introduce it slowly step by step into your sexlife you can't rush it start first with one small thing she is comfortable with so she can say if she wants to stop

[Asker]

Thanks.

[cut-the-crap]

I don't know why you're so weirded out by your own fetish. A very common fetish at that. If I were you, I'd talk to your girlfriend and see how she feels about it. Who knows, maybe she'd be into it, too.

[Asker]

Eh, I’ve always been ashamed of it. Plus I don’t think that it’s normal in the way you’re thinking of, like it makes sense that a lot of people wouldn’t mind being handcuffed to a bed during sex, but it think it’s less common to be aroused by someone being totally bound and gagged. I don't know maybe there’s different degrees of it. Also I know she’s somewhat into it, but not to same degree I’m fairly sure

[cut-the-crap]

If you know she's into it, I don't understand what the problem is. Are you saying it has to be done to the extreme for you to find it enjoyable and anything less would just be a waste of time? I think you've convinced yourself it's some super rare kink you have because you're ashamed of it for whatever reason. It's really not that rare, not even in a more extreme way. If your girlfriend is into it, I'd suggest baby steps. You don't have to jump straight into the deep end. You can feel it out and see how much she's comfortable with.

[ChrisMaster69]

@cut-the-crap yep, baby steps is key

[Asker]

No I just think that there’s different levels to it maybe, obviously everyone has their own point of comfort. But yeah, I can do baby steps

[ChrisMaster69]

Asker, read the links above and this one.

www.refinery29.com/.../bondage-beginner-tips-bdsm-advice