Why do some guys not like to touch a vagina?

[Anonymous]

I'm asking this because my lover doesn't like to touch a vagina, nor does he want to give me oral. When i ask him he says, he just doesn't like it and it feels weird on his hands (wetness, fluids from vagina). Also, its boring to him. He fingered me a few times after i asked him for it but he wasn't soft, it was even hurtful sometimes. To me, it seems like he has no experience with it. He was in a long term relationship before and didn't had that much experience before that relationship. The reason that makes me feel upset or even disappointed is, that he acts imature when i start talking about it. I always try to approach it from a neutral point of view, but he gets angry and pushes me away with not wanting to talk about it. Are there guys who can help me out, what might be the reason for this weird behaviour? Otherwise we have great sex and i have lots of orgasms because i like to come during piv, also he's making me feel good mostly, except for that case with not touching my pussy. Makes me feel weird sometimes, because he enjoys sex and likes the wetness, but doesn't want to touch it. Oh, and when i started to have sex with him, he told me he doesn't like blowjobs. But i like to give it, i enjoy it and it makes me really horny. So he told me i can do it and since then he really enjoys it and told me so.

[NamerOfStars]

Well, that definitely sounds like the voice of inexperience talking- but there may be more to it. I'm not sure how much this applies to your specific case- this is just an idea- but: sexuality is by far the most animalistic of the instincts we indulge. Actually, it's not- sleeping and eating are probably both further along that line, but they're universal DEMANDS in a way that sex is a more limited request. Many people of a more intellectual bent are uncomfortable with something that requires surrendering so much control to instinctual desire. It's one of those things were not seeing it and touching only with body parts specifically intended for it softens the blow- note his reluctance to even receive oral- but the prospect of giving in and relishing plain old hot monkey sex galls them. After you've blown him, does he react with guilt- either right away or later on, after you're finished with sex? If he's withdrawing, or diving back into a book or other directly intellectual pursuit, it may be a sign that he's realized he's not comfortable with what he's done.

Humans are animals. Animals with intellect and will, but animals nonetheless. I'd argue that both are essential parts of our nature, but this isn't really the time or place for that- the price of living in an era with too many warrior-poets and not enough philosopher-kings, I suppose. Anyway, if that IS what you're dealing with, or an aspect of what you're dealing with, what's to be done? I'd suggest against making demands and giving ultimatums- even if that does work, he won't be happy about it, and will probably only give in reluctantly (as a rule, you should never start a disagreement more aggressively than you want to end it). And you don't just want him to touch you, you want him to WANT to touch you. If he's reluctant to address the issue directly, can you make a more intellectual, or perhaps more abstracted, appeal? Do you have books, essays, magazine articles? You might get better results by having him read up on the topic; if it's less directly, physically in front of him, it may not trip that hesitancy switch. It'll also feel less confrontational, and possibly less embarrassing (yes, that can be an issue, even with people you're having sex with), since it'll seem more like him learning something new to make you happy and less like correcting a failure on his part.

[FunkyMonkee]

For some reason, a lot of younger guys are really strange when it comes to girls and their parts!! They REFUSE to talk about periods, handle tampons, or even attempt to put on an item of girls clothing because they have this bizarre fear that, if they do, their balls will fall off, their dick will invert and they'll grow tits and BECOME a girl!! If that were true, I'd have become a girls 40 years ago!!! And M-F trans people wouldn't have to shell out all that money for operations!! HEY!!! Where are my balls and dick? I had `em when I went to bed last night!!! And what are these two things on my chest? DAMN!!! I KNEW I shouldn't have changed my girlfriend's tampon for her last night!!! Honey, where's your dildo? I'm horny!

[Anonymous]

That’s odd. Either he just doesn’t want to put in the effort to pleasure you manually and orally and just says he doesn’t like to touch it as an excuse or…… he may have a mild phobia and thinks it’s unclean down there. Whatever’s going on, he should be an adult about it talk to you. I’d feel horrible if a guy didn’t want to touch me down there.

[MrOracle]

I have no idea what's going on with him, but it's not normal. in my opinion, he probably needs some therapy. Most guys want to touch and finger all the time...

[Leavesbound]

Is he really young? Some teenagers are like that though I fell in love with vagina at 9.

[Viraj00]

As i can see, apart from that point all the things remains cool. He might do not like smell of vagina or feeling awkard to give oral. You should clean and shave your private parts and ask him to give oral. Although he does not give that, you should stop giving him oral also. It's also pleasure on girl part also to have oral.

[Dargil]

I can't imagine why.

[Browneye57]

You may find he was sexually molested as a child. Unfounded hangups.
Figure he'll either grow out of it with time, or he won't - either way you can't fix him. Let it be or move on.

[thotmas97]

Not giving oral is somewhat understandable if he’s more squeamish, but not wanting to touch your vagina or receive a blowjob? My first immediate thought is that he’s in the closet. It’s also possible that’s not the issue and he was some other weird sexual hangups but that does not seem healthy.

[oncpl]

I always touch vagina of my gfs and they love it.

[Wise4myage]

Id be willing to bet he was sexually molested by a female relative, or close family friend.

[dudeinohio]

Never heard of such a thing... thought everyone liked to touch them.

[Twalli]

Maybe do mutual masturbation with him to get him to see how you like being touched. He might want to start trying it.

[OnTheLevel]

I've literally never heard of this problem before. He has some serious pussy trauma in his past. Maybe his ex had teeth down there.

[Adam_West]

i'm afraid about touching a vagina because it looks so strange

[Seppel]

I don't like that too. To me all genitals are looking ugly no matter wich sex

[Turtleneck22]

That’s weird. I’d find another guy.

[MasterKS]

i bet you are with most boring guy!

[lycanthrope3]

Before you get really frustrated, get a new guy

[Anonymous]

He's gay

[Anonymous]

I know you may not want to hear this, but he might be gay