Sexual Relationships
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Dads- possible incest. Am I crazy or is this wrong?

Hello, Feel very embarrassed to be asking this but need some advice or opinions. My mum and dad separated when I was young but he spent some time with me on and off until the age of 7 then I didn’t see him again till the age of 16. I have always always felt uncomfortable around him, like he’s looking at me inappropriately. Even as a young child I felt it like I had to cover up my body, pre puberty I used to try cover up my chest/nipples if I was wearing a T-shirt. Fast forward to me now 30 I feel very uncomfortable down there it’s like I am aroused when near him and I feel completely repulsed. It makes me feel physically sick. I can’t understand why my body is reacting this way around him. He is alone without a woman in life. He has commented over the years weird things like I am beautiful, have a great body, one time he touched my bare legs and I felt really awful, I just can’t shake the feeling that somehow when I was very young he could have abused me and my memory of it has disappeared. To add to this he speaks about sex and asked me out right if I had ever made a porn video because he watched one last night and swore it was me? I was shocked at this. Could my feelings be a symptom of historical abuse? And that my memories are repressed? Thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read this it’s greatly appreciated.
0 2

Superb Opinion

  • I’m no specialist but to me your reaction seems a normal one related to the ‘now’ issue. You have a father that is not reacting appropriately which disgusts you. The way you explain it gives me more and impression that this ‘as of the moment’ you realized this is wrong and not forcefully a sign of repressed memories re. childhood abuse. You remember anything from the ‘up until 7’ part? Hatred from that time? Or was that more a ‘blissfully ignorance’ period? If it’s the latter (if you remember anything) I would worry less. Please also keep in mind that physical abuse of a 7y old would most likely have left you with physical damage.

    • Thank you for your reply, I can remember seeing him around the age of 6 and I felt the same feeling down there and felt uncomfortable and scared. I think I will have to talk to a therapist and see if this could be the case, from my understanding children don’t remember much of childhood before the age of 4. It’s likely something happened before this time. I can’t say it was internal but likely touching me as a young girl from the outside.

    • That’s indeed totally possible… Hope talking with a therapist will give you some answers and closure.

Most Helpful Guy

  • There are chances that you've been sexually assaulted why I think is cause I was always interested in sex at a very young age and I even like to read dirty talk online
    like Healthy Strokes and when I masturbate it's always over seeing camel toes
    from years ago and I like when girls mention that their pussy goes red from
    masturbating is a turn on for me and I like when girls play with themselves
    under the blanket and I can see the blanket moving up and down as she
    plays with herself this is all a turn on for me but As a very young age
    I recall being highly sexual and having incest thinking so I believe
    I was sexually abused and many therapists I've talked to will admit that
    masturbating a lot is a red flag

    • Yes I can relate to some of this. I was very interested in sex and touching at a very young age. Too young.

    • @Asker I hate to say this but I've masturbated in changing rooms to try on new clothes, I was the only one in class in 5th grade and masturbated in class and went to the bathroom to finish myself off so yes it's happened

    • Thanks For MHO :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 9

  • It does sound like there is something in your past tucked away.

    with this type of thing, it’s always worth seeing a professional.

    if you go to a counsellor that has experience of historical sexual abuse, they tend to know what questions to ask and best approach to take.

    the other aspect to this is the usual bond that a child develops with their parents is pretty much broken.

    the other bond that a parent develops with their child is either broken or was never there in first place.

    have your other relationships with guys ( or girls) been okay, no parts where you get unsettled etc?

    It could be nothing and he is just a pervert, however often our memories tend to interact through certain situations ( trigger points) or through dreams and thoughts that suddenly intrude in to our daily lives.

    It is really weird and I would be very careful around him, also is he the type that would ‘accidentally’ leave his mobile in the bathroom etc?

  • The lines between repressed memories and false memories are very thin. You have a lot of "memories" and feelings that could mean you were molested by him. Or it could have been by somebody associated to him in either reality or your impressions. So many "could be's". You need a therapist trained in this area to dig deeper and sort things out. Certainly do not take any of the unprofessional thoughts on here as a truth. Get expert help.

  • Yeah, pretty creepy.
    I'd be talking to a counselor about it. Yes, it's possible, but even if that didn't actually happen, being creeped out about inappropriate stuff is pretty natural.

  • Sounds to me like repressed memories.

  • A father telling his daughter she has a great body is as creepy as it gets. And the way you feel around him is a sure sign that something could have happened when you were younger. So please talk to a therapist about all this, and yes, feelings can be repressed for many years.

  • He's just a creepy old perve that would probably sniff your dirty underwear if he got a chance. I don't doubt he's perved and fantasised about having you.

    Best you move away from him before something bad

  • deal with it, you are adult now.

    • You’re an adult too so you should know how to keep quiet when you have nothing helpful to say.

    • @Blackcupcake exactly

  • I am guessing you are not the only person to have had these feelings

    • Can you elaborate? I am really seeking opinions on this as I can’t ask friends.

    • Can you follow me

    • Yes done.

  • It's possible but I don't think it's likely.

    I think on some level your body is responding to a genetic sexual attraction beyond your control but your mind quite rightly is abhorred by the idea and of the man himself. He sounds like a loathsome individual. GSA works because you're going to be attracted to people who have similar features to your own, and normally it doesn't affect family because of the Westernarke effect which happens when you grow up with or around someone.

  • Maybe

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