Sexual Relationships
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I’m beginning to get very sexually frustrated and I don’t know if I should tell my girlfriend. What would you do?

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year when we first started dating she made it very clear that sex is off the table (anything that’s remotely close to sex is off the table as well) she’s not ready and I respect that. I don't know if I should bring up that I’m starting to get sexually frustrated because I don’t want to pressure her or make her feel bad. In the beginning masturbation would be “enough” but these last few months have been hard and I don't know what to do I’m now masturbating twice a day just so I can function.
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Superb Opinion

  • So not even a handjob at the very least? Just kissing, hugging, snuggling? A year of dating and not even moving forward into being intimate at all I see as an issue for anyone. I'm amazed you're this patient.

    If she doesn't want to pleasure you or each other after a year of dating and seeing each other consistently, then it's more of a Friendship to me. Being intimate is when it's considered a relationship in my opinion. For me when I open up that intimate door to her then she's my girlfriend and we're starting a relationship now.

    I've had a girlfriend in the past that wanted vaginal sex after marriage and I totally respected that. But she still gave me handjobs and blowjobs.

    • Nope , no Hj we haven’t even seen each other naked yet

Most Helpful Guy

  • Like most of the comments suggest you should tell her, 2 minds work better than one and if you bring it up now you won't get hit with a 'but you didn't mention it' in the event that you just snap in the future.

    • I’m seeing her tonight that’s when I’ll bring it up

Most Helpful Girls

  • To be honest this may be an indication of a difference in value sets that goes beyond just sex before marriage. If that's the case I'd suggest finding someone more similar to having your own value set. Values are the #1 most important thing any couple can (and must) share. Two great people can end up in a not great relationship because they don't share the same values

    • We really care for each other the moment we met we clicked. This is problem one of the best relationships I’ve had.

  • You can definitely always ask her how she's still feeling about it, but at the end of the day, she was upfront about expectations for sexual relations and that there would be none.

    • How can I bring up the conversation without it sounding like I’m getting frustrated? I really don’t want to make her feel bad or be a douche.

    • you do just have to be a bit honest that there's some level of want for you, but that you're just wanting to both be on the same level of understanding on what you both want.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 11

  • The only thing I can think of is talking to her, something like "hey I know you're wanting to wait for sex/sexual stuff, has your mind changed about that any"?

  • A year and she still is not ready? Man, I am patient, but that is absurd.
    Talk to her about it and either she presents a better answer or leave her.

    • She’s still a virgin so I understand the wait and I don’t want to pressure her

    • I understand waiting, virgin or no virgin. But after a year I think she should know if you are the right one or not. One thing is you not putting pressure on her, another is not feeling the pressure life puts on you by default.

  • You can have a conversation about it without being pushy or pressuring her. I’m pretty sure she’d wanna know... at least I would for sure

    • Thank you!

    • You’re welcome

  • What exactly is she waiting for?
    I'd last about twenty minutes. You're good for a YEAR? OMFG

    • Marriage I guess lol or whenever she’s ready. I’m not good for a year 😂 before we started dating I was VERY active.

    • Put up or shut up. Don't be writing checks with your mouth that your ass can't cash. If a person is abstaining for religious reasons, then they need to find someone like-minded and plan it together. I would buy a pair of shoes, or a car, with out trying them on or out. If you fuck up the sexual compatibility thing you sign yourself up for a lifetime of frustration and anxiety. I would explore a little more about her reasons. You could well be dealing with a psychotic disorder, unfounded fears, or a sexual abuse victim. In any case, it would need to be addressed for me or I'd find a new one. A romantic relationship without sex simply isn't one. And beware, if she's not hot to trot now, figure she never will be. It will always be an excuse or a problem. FOREVER.

    • *... wouldn't buy... Not 'would'.

  • Get a girl on the side for sex or just get a new girlfriend

    • No I like my current girlfriend

    • You are looking for someone to say your girlfriend will change to do what you want. She won't. So do other things or live with the frustration.

  • Did she give you a time frame as to when she will be ready? If she didn't, than its not fair to you. In my opinion, she's lucky you're still around.

    • No, I didn’t for a time frame because I didn’t want to pressure her

    • Well, it might he time to talk to her about this.

  • How long have you both been together now

    • About a year

  • Why dont you get married and have sex or just dump her?

    • I’m ready to get married and I wouldn’t dump her because lack of sex

    • So just get married and have sex. Problem solved.

  • You should always talk about your feels with your girl

    • Thank you! I just don’t want to seem pushy.

  • Just break up. Ask for an open relationship.

  • I would break up after three month without sex

  • What is her reasons

  • Be patient.

    • I’m going to wait until she’s ready

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