Should I be okay with my boyfriend looking at photos of girls secretly?

[Anonymous]

I recently noticed his explore page on Instagram is all models while glancing over. He follows zero females (only ones that he knows personally) and doesn’t like any pictures of females. I snooped on his phone while he was asleep, I've never done that before but I was honestly curious because he’s a little too careful and I thought it was weird that his explore page was all models cause that had to mean he was searching them up since he doesn’t like any photos but mine and his friends.. he deletes all his history and make it appear as if he doesn’t look at other females. On Instagram I happened to come across something that shows you what links you’ve recently clicked on.. it says he clicked on some models onlyfans which I know he didn’t subscribe to but I’m concerned that he even clicked on it…and then some other models page and he clicked on her YouTube link. If Instagram didn’t show links that were clicked on I would’ve never known that he looks at these girls profiles cause he always says (and very proudly) that he doesn’t look at shit like that. I always felt like he was lying but I didn’t think it was worth arguing about. It does bother me but there’s no point in confronting him because he will deny it and get defensive and angry. In the past I’ve dated men with porn addictions, and who would openly follow models and like their photos but is this a better alternative since he is so discreet about it? I remember catching him like two years ago watching porn right next to me while I was sleeping and that kind of hurt a bit. Like it’s fine if you watch porn but maybe not next to me as I sleep lol but I feel like it’s a little more personal when he’s looking at specific women on Instagram. I don’t know. We’re both adults I thought guys grew out of that whole phase after a certain age but I guess not. I will not bring it up to him because he will just fight about it.

[Anonymous]

Put social media and the online aside for a second, how's your relationship otherwise in general? Good? Trust him? Any issues? That's what's important and what I would focus on. We guys like to look and always will, it doesn't necessarily (often not at all) "mean" anything. He might be hiding it for your sake, because he doesn't want it to bother you? I don't know him, but he himself might be upset about it. Meaning maybe he doesn't want to look at these women, but being a guy, it's just natural (that we are more visual) and human curiosity. Maybe he "gives in" to his desires, but doesn't like himself after (why he gets defensive and angry?)? I'm only guessing, but maybe? I'm wondering if you took a different approach? Example next time if you "catch" him watching porn, say something like "what are you watching, can I watch to?" Taking somewhat of an interest. If he thinks you're "ok with it", maybe he'll be less secretive? And like I say, most likely "means" nothing so you'd have to not take this personally at all. But like a curiosity of what he's into. If you like porn, you could share with him what you like. Make it almost something to bond over? I'm just thinking it would eliminate not only the secrecy, but might also bring you closer together because it'll now be something you're sharing together. Just a suggestion. But if you aren't personally ok with that, I would try to take this less personally in general. I know that's hard, but like I say, most likely "means" nothing at all. Just curious, likes to look, that's it.

[Robert_]

I personally don't see the problem with him looking at different women or porn. He might actually learn from the second.

[Smashingdoozy]

I don't know looking at something once out of curiosity isn't really a bad thing. I've peeped at people's only fans pages out of curiosity. Looked at like 1 smutty ig model once and my explore page was filled with them. But who cares if he's looking? If you're that insecure in yourself and in your relationship that you can't handle your partner even thinking that another woman is attractive then you shouldn't be in a relationship. Reality is you are going to find other people attractive and that is ok.

[Iron_Man]

Talk to him about it

[Wise4myage]

Looking is one thing, touching or chatting with other girls is something altogether different.

[RickVienna]

Lets try a chastity cage on him... that will feel you secure he couldn't do anything without you...