Sexual Relationships
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Why is there a double standard when it comes to body count?

This guy said he would never date me because I had a body count and when I asked him what about his high count he said “it’s not the same” and it that it was okay for him to fuck around but said no one would marry me ( a week later karma payed him a visit and he broke his ankle and was out for 6 weeks). Ironically, a month later he comes back saying what he said was wrong and told me he really likes me and saw a future with me and like an idiot I fell for his apology and dated him for six months until he cheated on me and left me for some 19 year old bitch. Major lesson learnt, I should have cut him off when he insulted me in the beginning because now I just miss the person I was before I dated him as a result of all the trauma he caused me. Anyway he came back few weeks ago and said he still sees a future with me (after cheating and betraying and lying to me) and when I wasn’t into it he ended with the “oh that’s fine I can’t marry someone who has a body count anyway I want a virgin to marry” and I asked him what about his countless tinder sex partners to which he again responded “it’s not the same” and we haven’t spoken since and I ignore him. My question is what sort of mindset is this? Why do some men especially south Asian and middle eastern believe that their wives should be pure & chaste but have no problem dipping their shrimp dicks into every girl they meet? It’s honestly frustrating to have someone say that it was okay for them to hook up with strangers but have an issue when girl has had sex with just one person in the past who happens to be her ex. I’m sick of hearing the “lock and key” excuse and the “it’s not the same” excuse over and over.
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Superb Opinion

  • It’s very much hypercritical, it is however better than it was.

    saying that culture really does play apart,

    Some cultures (mainly where religion is a big part of the culture), it’s simply not acceptable for girls to have sex or sex more than once.

    those same cultures, it’s perfectly acceptable for a guy to fuck around.

    You see it in the real world and on here in spades.

    I hate the word, however you see body counts mentioned and almost instantly any girl who has sex becomes a slut.

    it’s up to a girl when she decides to first have sex, nothing wrong in waiting until married (is a potential risk about compatibility), equally if she decides she actually likes sex, then go for it.

    The other bit is if a girl lied and said she was a virgin, then a guy would not know, same with sexual partners, 100 could become 1, none the wiser.

    it’s pointless and hypocritical

    but god stop using Body Count everyone, it’s like a serial killer forum.

    • I agree, anyone can say anything and even fake their body counts. But I think it is something very personal and should not be publicized or up for discussion. The religion I come from is against pre-martial sex, but nonetheless if you have committed anything of such sort, you need to keep it to yourself and repent. But when it comes to culture, if a guy finds out a girl is not a virgin, he tells everyone and makes sure that they avoid her and publicizes everything about her, and publicizing someone else’s personal life is a huge sin in the religion too. So ultimately the girl, who has the slept around will repent and be alright, but the guy who publicized what she did will be the bad guy since he had no right to judge nor publicize her personal life.

    • In the UK there have been Honour killings over it, that is how fucked up it all is.

    • Yes I have heard. Similar things happen here too but if a family finds out that or receives proof that their daughter isn’t a virgin, they likely cut her off the family and she’s goes astray or they marry her off to the guy she’s been having sex with. If you ever have time watch the movie “What will people say” on Netflix, pretty sad.

Most Helpful Guy

  • If you want to know the source of this double standard, just have a look in the mirror. I have no respect for promiscuous people, male or female. For some reason women don't view promiscuous men in the same negative light in which men view promiscuous women. You women need to raise your standards for promiscuity.

    Men are instinctively biased against promiscuous women. We know instinctively that promiscuous women are less likely to make good mates and mothers. That will always be the case because it is coded in our DNA. If this double standard is ever going to go away, it is women who will need to change, not men.

    • I assume you’re a very religious/cultural person and I don’t agree with some of what you said. That being said, let promiscuous men and promiscuous women have each other. Likewise let the not so promiscuous men and not so promiscuous women have each other. Men or women can’t expect to be promiscuous themselves and seek a partner who is not. It should not work like that.

    • Also you have no right to tell me to look in the mirror as I never told you or indicated that I was promiscuous. I simply dealt with a man who could not get over the fact that I had a boyfriend before him whom I had sex with. That’s it. I did not go around sleeping with strangers every weekend the way he did.

    • A couple things here. First, no I'm not religious. I'm an atheist and I don't consider myself particularly cultural. But I have always turned off by promiscuity, and I don't believe it is a cultural thing. Men are naturally turned off by it. Always have been and always will be. We are encouraged not to be bothered by it but that is cultural piece of this issue. When I said to look in the mirror, I did not mean you personally. My point was that is generally women as a whole who are largely responsible for the double standard. They see that men are more judgmental than women are about promiscuity, but instead of raising their standards, they expect men to lower theirs. That's not going to happen. Ultimately I believe the difference between men and women on this issue is rooted in their different natures.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Lock and key, lock and key, that's the reason, but it's okay for you to no date him.

    https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MyGirlIsNotASlut

    • That analogy will never make sense.

    • It's a great analogy, guys fuck, girls get fucked, guys and girls are different.

      tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SlutShaming

    • That is not why it doesn't make sense. A lock is not good if it's opened by a lot of keys. But the lock is supposed to only be opened by one key that's how they are made. On other hand vaginas are not inherently made to be fucked by one dick.

    • Show All

  • That "lock and key excuse" is valid. And here's why there is a double standard. Because sex for a woman is incredibly EASY to get. You could go into a night club right now and say, "Alright, I'm horny, who wants to f*** me?" and a bunch of guys will come running at top speed towards you. You think guys have that privilege? Well if you think we do, then dead wrong. It's incredibly HARD for guys to get sex with just ONE girl. There are even stats that show that 1/3 men under the age of 30 is either a virgin or hasn't had sex in a year, but you don't see that with women at all. On top of that there are multiple videos online teaching guys how to get laid, but there's not any for women to get laid. Why? Because as I said before, it's easy for women to get sex and it's hard for a man to get sex, so since you women play the game on easy mode, you don't get hard mode benefits. And a hard mode benefit for men is that we are gonna be respected more for having sex with a lot of women BECAUSE if the fact that it's so hard to do.

  • Very, very simple. Because most women don't give a shit, even though they should.

    • Can you explain further?

    • It's taboo for women to be promiscuous because men dislike promiscuous women. Women don't mind promiscuity in men, sometimes it's even a bonus, so it isn't taboo. Things are changing though, so that might not be the case in another century or less.

    • I see your point. But often when women do have something against promiscuous men who sleep around a lot, we get hit with the “I have needs” and “I can’t control my desires”. It’s more of them not letting us have an opinion on their body counts and suddenly it’s “not our concern” when it’s okay for them to dictate and judge our sex lives

    • Show All

  • just lie about your body count, guys have low self esteem and can't handle the truth

    • I don't see the issue. Everyone should be happy their partner is experienced. Means they are probably good.

    • They the complete opposite of happy going on about how they don’t want “used” women while it’s okay for them to dip their dick in multiple women every week.

    • They don't want "used" women, but they are used and don't see an issue. Bullshit.

    • Show All

  • Culture. That's all it is. Some societies are purly patriarchal where women feelings are ignored or encouraged if they coincide with what the men want.
    These values are on the decline in the West and instead there's a trend towards the opposite where women who have experiance are instead sought after.

    Ignore those who make you feel bad and enjoy other company.

    • So true. I come from probably the most backward culture ever where women are seen as people who live in the kitchen and stay at home. No joke, most of the women here aren’t allowed to leave the house at all, maybe 1-2 times every 3 months. While men can go do whatever they want and are often fucking prostitutes in hotels!

    • Wich culture is that? If you don't mind me asking. Also, if it'll make you feel better I'd be open to chat a while. I'm bored out of my mind right now.

    • South Asian culture! What would you like to chat about?

    • Show All

  • I don't think so

  • It's stupid!
    I have no idea what is the difference between a guy and a girl having a high body count.

    • Agreed, this is why I prefer western men!

  • I don't know.
    I don't care If she is virgin or had 90000 Guys

    • That’s how it should be, the past is in the past.

    • Right 👍

  • Why is there a double standard when it comes to most things male/female

  • It is the same thing. He is just a sexist and a narcissist who doesn't want to take responsibility for his own bad behavior. If body count matters then yours should matter the most.

    • He is indeed a sexist and a HUGE narcissist. He legit thought he was better than anyone else but was legit the most insecure man at times.

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