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Do you think that interest in BDSM is usually the result of some sort of trauma?

Asking for a friend lol
Do you think that interest in BDSM is usually the result of some sort of trauma?
1 2

Superb Opinion

  • No I’d maybe say half or less of the women that’s into BDSM are interested due to some trauma. Almost every if not every chick I was with before I got married and there were a lot and all liked rough sex. Most of them even some degree of consensual non consensual sex and only a few had experienced some type of sexual trauma that I knew of. Of coarse there were some that didn't talk about any shit like that and there were a good portion of them that told me it just turned them on and told me they didn’t have bad past experience. Even my wife loves very rough sex but says she’s never had any sexual trauma but she really likes being forced and held down and pounded hard even when she’s giving head and she’s doing all the work she pushes herself to take it deep and is really rough with her throat. She can even cum thus way. Trust me I’m no complaining. Sorry so long

Most Helpful Guy

  • No and yes.

    there have been a number of various studies and surveys done, both with subs and Dom’s.

    there is not a lot that points either way,

    one thing that has been pointed out and they are trying to get more information on, is how sub and top space have a positive impact on mental health.

    I know why I got in to it and it’s not actually linked to trauma.

    there are people who are active within clubs and attend our munches that have had fairly major trauma or suffered a level of emotional and or physical abuse.

    Pre lockdown they were looking more into Sub and top space, as both have a major impact on brain chemistry.

    one of the larger problems is BDSM is such a huge catch all, that actually tying it to something that can be measured is hard.

    • I experienced quite a bit of trauma and abuse and I can remember when I started to become aware of my sexuality and certain fantasies I would come up with wasn't "the norm". I was 15 years old when I realized I was a sub, and in all honesty I thought it was a phase and that I would grow out of it, lol I didn't. How ever it still has me asking the question, do I have these innate desires because of nature or nurture?

    • Have you had a proper Dom or been part of a club? A lot of what you mention we tend to sit and chat about It’s not like the average BDSM club is lacking in professionals, we have a few PhD’s in Psychology, and other odd things lol. My previous girlfriend hers was mainly from abuse both physical and emotional. This is partial my thoughts but also a few others. Our brains love the candy of endorphins etc and will however possible try and get them. This often involves looking at what produces them, fear, pain and pleasure. For those having trauma, the brain can easily trigger fear and then pain but also pleasure, Some subs live permanently in the pain area (highly masochistic), others live in the fear area (rape role play and other dark things). Then you have the pleasure are, which may be the control, protection, nuturing etc side of things. Obviously most live across the board but from various chats about this, my belief is certain kinks are more predominant for certain historical events, occurrences in a persons life.

    • @subarugirl also apologies I’m on my 2nd or 3rd bottle wine, so my typing sucks big time

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Most Helpful Girls

  • In my case a lot of it is but I also think a lot of it has to do just with trust and intimacy.

    Wearing restraints or things that block your senses with someone requires a lot of trust, I've found it to be great trust excerscise and it's even helped me get over some big big troubles

  • No, they are just used to having their abusive POS boyfriend beating on them so they expect the same in sex.

    Do you think that interest in BDSM is usually the result of some sort of trauma?Do you think that interest in BDSM is usually the result of some sort of trauma?

    • I’ve never had an abusive boyfriend and have been into bdsm and kink for a long long time

    • And you don't call that abuse? Anything but tender and loving is physical abuse. It's amazing what turns people on these days. I'm assuming you were also into porn before BDSM. That's what porn usually progresses to. If having your ass kicked and hung by your nipples doesn't turn someone on anymore I have no idea what that progresses to.

    • No I don’t consider it abuse of the adult says that it is something that they want. If it is mutually consensual, what’s wrong with that?

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

7 41

  • Not at all. I think I'm pretty normal, haven't had any major trauma sexually. And I'm game for a little spanking or being tied up with the right person.

  • No I wouldn't say I have any trauma

  • No. I genuinely just want to have a good time.

  • No, I know a few people, like myself, into BDSM, and we never had trauma in our lives.
    I can see how it can be connected, and what might trigger someone to do it.
    I have dabbled in it, and it is a worthy fetish or kink.

  • It's possible. I was abused as a child, and I think that might have a lot to do with me having a major aversion to BDSM activities. I guess in my case it's the opposite. Trauma led me to dislike it.

    I'm very uncomfortable being asked to choke, hit, or anything resembling physical violence. I love being rough, but hitting is too rough for me.

  • No, I think it is just who some people are

  • Nah, not in my experience. Maybe for some, not all. To each their own.

  • No, it is just a preference.

  • I'm not a psychiatrist but I can say that the 2 woman I've been with that wanted it like that did have past trauma.

  • I don't know but I find it cringy.
    I wouldn't be surprised.

  • I think a therapist is better suited for this question lol. Has "Your friend" been through some sort of trauma that you know of?

    • lol I am that "friend" and yes I've experienced my fair share of trauma and abuse

  • Apparently, past trauma (s) could play a role.

    www.researchgate.net/.../275484984_Corporeality_Sadomasochism_and_Sexual_Trauma

  • Hehe, you clearly ain't seen the show Sex Sent Me To The ER

    • I have.. Though I don't see how that has anything to do with the topic

    • I guess I didn't understand the question then seeing other replies are you meaning people who have already been traumatized are into it because of that?

  • That's like saying liking spicy food is the result of some sort of anguish or distress. LOL
    NO - it's not !

    • That's like comparing apples to elephants lol

  • Not necessarily. Sexuality is strange that way...

  • no it doesn't have to be at all

  • I think it certainly can be, and possibly to a notable extent, but I doubt it is "usually" the cause, and if it is, I'd imagine it's not by much.

  • I don’t think it necessarily does

  • I doubt it. But I do believe it's tied, pun intended, to a certain experience.

  • Aggression and specifically sexual aggression can come from events of the past. They could have been traumatizing or non-traumatizing events. Psychoanalysis is really complex and you can't really get to an answer that easily.

    Then again sexual aggression could have a hormonal reasons.

    You could be right but the matter is way too complicated to say for sure.

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