Do you think that interest in BDSM is usually the result of some sort of trauma?
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humpbackjack | 342 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Xper 6
10 mo
No I’d maybe say half or less of the women that’s into BDSM are interested due to some trauma. Almost every if not every chick I was with before I got married and there were a lot and all liked rough sex. Most of them even some degree of consensual non consensual sex and only a few had experienced some type of sexual trauma that I knew of. Of coarse there were some that didn't talk about any shit like that and there were a good portion of them that told me it just turned them on and told me they didn’t have bad past experience. Even my wife loves very rough sex but says she’s never had any sexual trauma but she really likes being forced and held down and pounded hard even when she’s giving head and she’s doing all the work she pushes herself to take it deep and is really rough with her throat. She can even cum thus way. Trust me I’m no complaining. Sorry so long
ChrisMaster69 | 8.8K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Master
10 mo
No and yes.
there have been a number of various studies and surveys done, both with subs and Dom’s.
there is not a lot that points either way,
one thing that has been pointed out and they are trying to get more information on, is how sub and top space have a positive impact on mental health.
I know why I got in to it and it’s not actually linked to trauma.
there are people who are active within clubs and attend our munches that have had fairly major trauma or suffered a level of emotional and or physical abuse.
Pre lockdown they were looking more into Sub and top space, as both have a major impact on brain chemistry.
one of the larger problems is BDSM is such a huge catch all, that actually tying it to something that can be measured is hard.
I experienced quite a bit of trauma and abuse and I can remember when I started to become aware of my sexuality and certain fantasies I would come up with wasn't "the norm". I was 15 years old when I realized I was a sub, and in all honesty I thought it was a phase and that I would grow out of it, lol I didn't. How ever it still has me asking the question, do I have these innate desires because of nature or nurture?
A lot of what you mention we tend to sit and chat about
It’s not like the average BDSM club is lacking in professionals, we have a few PhD’s in Psychology, and other odd things lol.
My previous girlfriend hers was mainly from abuse both physical and emotional. This is partial my thoughts but also a few others. Our brains love the candy of endorphins etc and will however possible try and get them. This often involves looking at what produces them, fear, pain and pleasure. For those having trauma, the brain can easily trigger fear and then pain but also pleasure, Some subs live permanently in the pain area (highly masochistic), others live in the fear area (rape role play and other dark things). Then you have the pleasure are, which may be the control, protection, nuturing etc side of things. Obviously most live across the board but from various chats about this, my belief is certain kinks are more predominant for certain historical events, occurrences in a persons life.
No neither, I married young, my husband is vanilla, which is fine. Though being a sub is a big part of who I am even though I don't currently practice. Lol I definitely fall into the pain and fear categories, on several different levels.
@Subarugirl for those that live heavily within pain and fear it’s quite common to have Consensual Non-Consent as their main focus or drive.
This allows even a vanilla to provide a level of stimulus to their partner.
This means you do not know what might happen, which triggers anticipation and start of that fear route. You are saying, you can do anything to me, and even though I’m saying stop, it’s actually keep going is what i mean,
I’m avoiding mentioning any dark stuff as obviously that is a big input to the fear and pain.
I’m happy to continue this in morning when sober lol
While there may be quite a few individuals who are into BDSM potentially through trauma, strangely I know there are quite a few that are there from college , university and a lot of people that have done psychology or are professionally qualified.
I share in that experience. It definitely brings up a lot of questions when I think about what kinks I’ve developed. Thanks for sharing this actually helped me feel less guilty about how I’m wired.
In my case a lot of it is but I also think a lot of it has to do just with trust and intimacy.
Wearing restraints or things that block your senses with someone requires a lot of trust, I've found it to be great trust excerscise and it's even helped me get over some big big troubles
And you don't call that abuse? Anything but tender and loving is physical abuse. It's amazing what turns people on these days. I'm assuming you were also into porn before BDSM. That's what porn usually progresses to. If having your ass kicked and hung by your nipples doesn't turn someone on anymore I have no idea what that progresses to.
And who do you do this with since you say your hubby doesn't like your looks? What? the black eyes and bruises turn him off? Wait, I thought it was a turn on in BDSM?
I don't currently practice BDSM lol It's okay I wouldn't expect you to understand. If you're not into in that is absolutely fine. No on is forcing you in to kink or BDSM how ever, what I would suggest is educating yourself before making uneducated and judgmental assumptions.
I was going by what you said in some of your past questions. Unless your were making things up which a lot of us do, just to keep things interesting here I assume.
It's possible. I was abused as a child, and I think that might have a lot to do with me having a major aversion to BDSM activities. I guess in my case it's the opposite. Trauma led me to dislike it.
I'm very uncomfortable being asked to choke, hit, or anything resembling physical violence. I love being rough, but hitting is too rough for me.
No, I know a few people, like myself, into BDSM, and we never had trauma in our lives. I can see how it can be connected, and what might trigger someone to do it. I have dabbled in it, and it is a worthy fetish or kink.
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Anonymous
10 mo
Na. I like it because I love when a girl submits to me but I also love it when a girl claims me and dominates me. But Femdom is trash. Femdom is a bunch of degrading name calling and that isn't love at all. Telling dude they are worthless and shit and making them wear cages. Shit is weird.
I feel that a woman should be respected a lot better in this case I mean I’ve never seen anything like it so I wouldn’t know but I still feel that woman shouldn’t be treated like animals neither should they be treating like a pet and it makes me upset at the thought that people actually enjoy seeing a woman trespassed upon like she’s a slave only created for the pleasure of monsters. Just my opinion dislike it, like it, do what you will, but I stand with what I type. Woman should be respected.
A lot of women really enjoy that though, including me. As long as both parties are consenting adults, I don't see an issue.
Xylem1992 | 208 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Xper 6
10 mo
Aggression and specifically sexual aggression can come from events of the past. They could have been traumatizing or non-traumatizing events. Psychoanalysis is really complex and you can't really get to an answer that easily.
Then again sexual aggression could have a hormonal reasons.
You could be right but the matter is way too complicated to say for sure.
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1 Person
Anonymous
10 mo
I don’t think it’s necessarily from trauma. I’m more of a follower than a leader so I guess giving the reigns and trust to my partner to have their way with me and use me would be pleasurable. But at the same time that they are going to look after me. I would love to be tied up and her have her way with me, especially incorporating my fetish.
lol I am that "friend" and yes I've experienced my fair share of trauma and abuse
crmoore | 2.4K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Guru
10 mo
I think it certainly can be, and possibly to a notable extent, but I doubt it is "usually" the cause, and if it is, I'd imagine it's not by much.
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Anonymous
10 mo
What are your thoughts on people who don't lose their virginity until sometime in their 20s? Just asking because historically it seems to be the norm for people to lose their virginity in their teenage years
no i dont i noticed that bdsm is a big part of white culture in terms of sexual practices but ya can literally do whatever as long as no one's harmed in the process
Not at all. I think I'm pretty normal, haven't had any major trauma sexually. And I'm game for a little spanking or being tied up with the right person.
I guess I didn't understand the question then seeing other replies are you meaning people who have already been traumatized are into it because of that?
BeachLuvR97 | 783 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Xper 6
10 mo
Yes.
But, sometimes, I think that women just find it thrilling to have a man take complete control of them. And vice versa.
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