Dumped because of lack of sexual attraction or lack of experience?

[Anonymous]

Hi, need some advices!
I (23) met this guy (23) a month ago, we had several dates. He was always making compliments to me and seemed like a keeper. He never attempted to touch me sexually and waited 5 dates to kiss me! He asked me for a night together at a hotel because we both live with our parents.
I booked (and paid) for the hotel. He seemed a little anxious, he had 2 drinks at the restaurant while he never ordered any alcohol with me before. He was always telling stuff like «I hope the night will be great» etc.
When we arrived at the hotel room, he rushed things. It didn’t feel natural so I pushed him away and asked him if he was anxious, he said « yes ». Then he said I was very pretty, having a beautiful smile /hair /model’s body and that I was the first intelligent/clever girl he ever dated, so he wanted to pursue the relationship with me.

We only had intercourse. The next morning he cuddled and kissed me. He kept his pants on all night along. I started thinking he had a small package. I asked him if it was his main concern. He laughed and said no. Then he asked me for taking a shower together before going for breakfast. We were supposed to stay the day together but suddenly he had to leave for helping this father that had a vehicle breakdown.

During the evening, he called me saying he was not ready for a relationship and that he wasn’t attracted sexually by me. Then he admitted he felt pressure and that I was « special », he never talked a lot to a girl before and had only one-night stands. He said the sex seemed « too complicated » to him, but I felt like he was inexperienced. Weird, because he called me his girlfriend the night before and seemed always amazed by me when we were dating. So i don’t get how he can suddenly not be attracted.

Do you think he dumped me because he was ashamed of his sexual skills / his size? Or is it possible he faked so much being attracted by me?

[MTC29]

First, it was generous of you to foot the bill for the hotel room.

Unless it was a camping trip. His keeping his pants on all night while in bed is among the more unusual things I've heard.

"He seemed a little anxious, he had 2 drinks at the restaurant while he never ordered any alcohol with me before. He was always telling stuff like «I hope the night will be great» etc. When we arrived at the hotel room, he rushed things. It didn’t feel natural so I pushed him away and asked him if he was anxious, he said « yes »."

Unless you were giving off the same sort of "Take me right now!" vibes, he was far too anxious. This is most likely due to inexperience, or a previous bad experience. If he has a small dick and a women even innocently teased him about it, it could have affected him. This could have brought on the «I hope the night will be great» comment.

By the way, I noticed the use of guillemets (« ») are you French?

Regardless, he seems odd, but was harmless. Just file it away as one of your more unusual dates.

[Asker]

His Boxer shorts*! Not his pants. Sorry! I’m french, you guessed well. I didn’t give him « take me now! » vibes, so no. I feel like he was inexperienced. But I feel hurt and surprised that he said he was not sexually attracted to me. Yes, I paid for the room. I feel bad now.

[Luckycharms12]

Well weird wearing pants all night and way he was acting

[Asker]

Weird also, I didn’t gave him oral or hand, he made things to me only.

[Asker]

give* sorry

[Luckycharms12]

That's not to common guy aims to please first time blow the girl away

[Flower7]

I think it was a bad idea to ask him if he was keeping his boxers on because of a small penis. He could have started thinking this was your opinion of his size. Especially since you asked that AFTER you'd already had sex with him. I'm guessing he was offended by this.

[Asker]

I know that a stupid move from my part. I just wanted to know if it was the problem. Of course, according to him the cause was the lack of attraction to me. But that’s not a reason to run away, I wouldn’t mind the size.

[haphazard]

I agree. He probably felt offended or got the wrong impression of you. Sometimes insults can take a while to set in and affect someone. If he got an impression of you that he didn't like then he could very well lose attraction to you.

[Anonymous]

So while having "intercourse" you could not feel how big he is?

[jenna15]

that was my question

[BeenThereLovedIt]

I'm thinking he probably came in his pants and then got embarrassed and then ashamed and now can't face you. Inexperienced is an understatement.

[venom9801]

Probably just wanted to see if he could bang you and when he did, he was done.

[anylolone]

Probably he couldn't get it hard.
Also, it's not uncommon for men to now allow women to see them soft, it took me a long while to get comfortable.

It's weird that it was just penetration, which shows he's inexperienced.
Or he could just not be attracted to you, or think he wasn't attracted to you because he couldn't get hard.

My first clue is that he couldn't get hard and assumed that it was because he wasn't attracted to you.