Guys, why are promiscuous women a turn off, but you want a woman to give sex ASAP?

[Anonymous]

This has always been confusing to me. Men will say promiscuous women are a turn off, but want/expect a woman they are talking with to give sex in a short time of knowing her. If it happens, it fuels promiscuous behavior. They will drop her if she doesn’t give up sex easily or quickly, which shows she’s not promiscuous. Do you see the contradictory?

I don’t want to give up my first time to anyone, have a high body count nor have sex with multiple men to make them happy and keep me around, when they just want me for sex.

[MrOracle]

Men who demand sex super quickly are usually NOT the same men who actually WANT a relationship - I'm sure a few exceptions exist, but I'm talking about the vast majority. It's not that "relationship men" don't want sex and don't want it quickly - we definitely WANT it - but we also know that we're likely to get a better RELATIONSHIP outcome if we wait a while, and focus on investigating our compatibility to ensure we have long-term potential.

But most women aren't actually pursuing "relationship men". Women mostly pursue the Top 10% of men - but almost none of those men have any interest in a relationship with ANYONE, and the few who DO want a relationship are not likely to accept anything less than a woman who is a 9.5 in his eyes - because men like that have endless options with women, and have no need to settle for less. There is NOTHING a woman can do to make the vast majority of those Top 10% men want a relationship - much less want one with HER. Some of those men might lie to get what they want, but few want relationships. The rest of us guys know this - we talk to those guys and we overhear what they say and we see what they do, and trust me - they aren't looking to get locked down.

Now, SOME women ARE actually going after relationship men - and most of them know that they need to be attractive as a relationship partner (which goes far beyond looks), and they're more than willing to be that way. These are the ones who tend to have the most success and stay together for the long term. They didn't jump into bed with those guys either - even if the guy would have liked to. They focused on the relationship as the first priority.

You can be, do, and act however you like, but the choices you make will DEFINITELY affect the outcomes you get, for good and bad. If you are choosing guys who expect sex right away, maybe you should reconsider the men you are choosing, and see if their goals are REALLY the same as yours (prioritizing the relationship), or if that's just talk, or even delusion on your part. If you learn to eliminate everyone except "relationship guys" from the beginning, you're much more likely to find success - especially long-term - with relationships.

I should also mention this: even "relationship men" are going to want sex, and nearly all will consider sex to be a vital component of a long-term relationship, so NEVER get involved with a guy who you wouldn't sleep with, because that's a waste of your time AND his.

If you want a relationship (and I recommend it!), you need to date WITH INTENTION. Don't be shy about what you want, and about what your boundaries and expectations are. Don't mess with guys who don't qualify based on those standards, because those men will NOT change their minds, and you'll get used and everyone's time will be wasted.

[Bricealan]

The problem is that men want their cake and eat it too. I want a promiscuous woman, which means to me that she likes sex a lot. I have a woman relative that says there are two kinds of women, those that like sex AND those that REALLY LIKE SEX. You can't have it both ways.

This is going to be a long answer to your question, but I believe you want a serious, thought out answer?

I have had women in my life that seemed to like sex, but in the end it seemed she liked it until we were married, (I'm married once and divorced) or we were locked into a relationship, and she liked it until I fucked her until she "was going to be sore". She NEVER got 'sore' before, when I fucked her for an hour straight, when we were 'going together"

Then I had women or A woman that was so sexually driven, she would orgasm at the least bit of foreplay, and wanted to have me "just get on top of me" until she climaxed.

I met a woman when I worked for DHS, at LAX and she said she quit counting after 100 men had fucked her. She said she was 'like a man" and wanted to fuck every man she met. She got me hot talking about it. She ALSO said she destroyed her marriage, and not sure if she alienated her children because of it
This kind of thing has the male chauvinist pig calling her a nymphomaniac (and there is no such thing)

Prior to that, I met a very attractive woman at my first job out of college in a large manufacturing company back east. She was 20 something, and I was 30 something. She had a long term boyfriend,
who was a police officer. She and I discussed sex openly, out of hearing, and I jacked off in her office, with her holding her skirt to her waist, showing her bikini underpants and crotch to me. I showed her my erect penis, (through my pants) in the hallway on occasion. She wanted to see my erect penis, after work, and we met in her car, my pants down, she showed me her lush, blonde pubic hair, but we did not fuck or suck etc.

Point being? I am certain she did NOT tell "Lance' her boyfriend about her sexual dalliances at work, as we would not think she would. She was very curious about sex, penis size, semen etc.

That is the kind of woman I want, whether it makes sense or not !! She loves sex, and whether or not she would stay with me, while 'playing with' or fucking other men the same time as me is not a case of 'heartburn for me. Either she stays with me, and plays with others is not a deal breaker for me. My point is what I said in the beginning. A man CAN"T have his cake and eat it too. He wants a woman to LOVE sex and fucking, sucking, etc. but her wants her to be 'faithful' to him, no matter what. She has to be a 'good mother', good homemaker' etc., but she also has to 'fuck like a mink' as some 'pigs' would say.

I would rather have Barbara (her real name) in my life as the 'promiscuous' wife, mother, etc. THAN a woman who pretends to like sex, and only uses it as a tool to placate me in the bedroom.
I hope I am explaining myself on your inquiry.

[OlderAndWiser]

For many guys:

you having sex with other guys means you are promiscuous.

you having sex with them means that you trust them and think they are The One, or you can't control yourself around such an obvious sex god.

[MrCommodore]

It is a bit of a double edged sword, more so when in your teens and 20's, but you have to look at it differently maybe as a way of testing guys too.

Most guys want sex and will happily enjoy it if the girl puts out quickly, but they also want a long-term girlfriend/partner/wife etc, so while out looking for sex/fun, they are always keeping an eye out for a girl that tixksthe right boxes.

If you hold out for a while and he leaves and moves on, congratulations, you lost a guy who wasn't that into you and was just after sex/fun.

If you put out too soon, he might disqualify you as a long-term girlfriend, fearing this is the norm for you.

[NHI2017]

For me personally Promiscuous women are definitely a turn on.

i like bad girls,
Dirty, And loyal.
Is my taste in women,

And i am lucky enough to actually have me one like that.

[tzdc21]

I see what you're saying, but if you have to realize that if you refuse to have sex with a guy that you're dating, at some point he's gonna think that you're not really attracted to him. So the trick is to wait long enough to make sure that he doesn't see you as promiscuous, but also not too long to the point where he's convinced that you're not attracted to him.

[jshm2]

You're confused.

Some women are a walking STD, and drama show. Others are a sensual Venus. Men don't want drama and infections, which the former provide too much of. It's little to do do with promiscuity

[Miristheiss]

I'd say these are probably 2 different groups of men.

I'd guess the ones they want it right away are not the same ones that are turned off by promiscuous girls.

Players probably want it right away and probably don't care what you've done. You can be an ex prostitute and they won't care.
The ones that are repulsed by it are more than likely those that just want romance, to find someone special and marry.

The players should get with the ones that want to sleep around. The relationship/marriage guys should be with the girls who keep it rare and for special relationships.

Girls that want to party and sleep around and then one day think to herself, now I wan to settle down and marry... she probably isn't the type a relationship guy wants. She picked the waters she wanted to swim in. She can't change swimming pools all of the sudden. The germs from those waters will be with her for life.

It is probably best for like minded people to get together. "Birds of a feather flock together".

[Dragonstarterplus]

It's simple when you use guythink

You having sex with other guys = promiscuous

You having sex with us = we are special and worth it

[FunkyMonkee]

Promiscuity is fine with me! Maybe if she's a stranger that just walks up to me and starts talking about fucking me, I might be a bit dubious (for all I know, she could be a hooker and I'm not about to fuck a hooker!! Nor could I afford one!!) but, if I know her, I doubt I'd have a problem with her wanting to fuck me.

[FilmGuy93]

It's not as much of a contradiction as it sounds. We want a woman who doesn't give it up easily to other men, but we want her to be more receptive to us.

[Angelo75]

True.
Humans (both men and women) are paradoxes.