Should I tell my girlfriend I'm a virgin?

[Anonymous]

Hi.

Well, my girlfriend and I have been together for 7 months already, and these months have been wonderful! Everything's going great so far, and we're in love with each other. But in the last few weeks, my girlfriend has started to touch me more and more, and I'm sure she'd like to start having sex soon. The problem is that, I'm a virgin, not because I haven't had the opportunity, but due to some sort of beliefs I used to have.

Sure, I want to have sex, but I don't want to tell her I'm a virgin, because who tf is a virgin past his 20s? And if I don't tell her, I'm worried my performance could give me away.

What should I do? I love her, but do you think this could hurt our relationship?

[summiter]

She may have already figured it out. There is absolutely no reason to be embarrassed about being a 20 something and being a virgin. I would tell her. She will be more understanding and hopefully help you out. No reasonable girl will expect you to be a sex god right out of the gate. Is she a virgin also? It is ok to talk about sex and make sure to communicate about sex with her often!

Have you fooled around with her at all... like getting naked, handjobs, oral etc? Talk about and plan on birth control ahead of time. What are your thoughts?

[Asker]

We have done nothing sexual, not even seeing each other naked

[summiter]

Is she a virgin also? At any rate take it slow, keep the communication open and frequent and enjoy the great orgasms!

[t-8900]

I lost my virginity young but not by choice. When I told my ex I never did have sex on my own terms she asked if I wanted to with her at her place. Actually that's how she secured the relationship though tbh I would tell women that's not always the best way to do it. When I say she gave me the ride of my life... she gave me the ride of my life. If that's not worth telling your girlfriend over I don't know what is. Though I can't promise you'll get the same treatment.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Personally, I would prefer honesty.
My second boyfriend was a virgin and he was 23 and he was honest about it. And he was a better lover than a lot of others.

I would really feel betrayed if my partner wasn't truthful with something like this and I would question if I could trust them if they lied about it.

[Asker]

What if he was embarrassed for being a virgin?

[Little_Bumblebee]

If he couldn't talk about something like that with me, then he really shouldn't have sex with me either. You even said it yourself, you had some beliefs when you were younger which resulted in your virginity. Don't be embarrassed by your past. If he was embarrassed he could mention that he is and we would talk it through.

[Asker]

In your case, would you try to make his first time special?

[Little_Bumblebee]

When I was with my second boyfriend we didn't do something extremely romantic or special. But it was special for us. We both enjoyed it and I was aware he was a virgin so we took it at his pace And it awkwardly ended with the condom falling off and stayed inside me, so he had to fish it out with his fingers... So, a piece of advice, if you need condoms, make sure it's the right fit.

[PrettyPriya]

Absolutely you should. Openness and honesty is key for a good relationship.

Also, she will probably feel special that she is the one you chose to share that special experience. I know I would if I were her. ❤️

[Asker]

But what if she thinks there's something wrong with me for being a virgin at such an old age

[PrettyPriya]

Well then she isn’t the one to share that first time with in my opinion because there is nothing wrong with waiting for the right person, no matter the age. She should feel a sense of pride that you chose her and not someone else for that special moment. This is just my opinion of course. If you feel like you don’t want to, that is completely up to you.

[Asker]

If you were in that situation, would you feel mad that your boyfriend was a virgin but he chose not to tell you?

[PrettyPriya]

Personally, I would not be mad but upset that he didn’t feel comfortable telling me that. It is not that big of a deal. Also, were I in that situation and he did tell me, I would put all the extra effort in the world to make it as special as I could for him.

[Asker]

Would you try to make his first time special?

[PrettyPriya]

Absolutely I would. As mentioned, I would take extra time and care to make it as special as I could. It is a memorable thing! So I would want that memory to be extra special.

[PrettyPriya]

Thank you kindly for mhg 🙏❤️

[Mofunfour20]

No, it implies fear. Youd be better off acting like you know what you're doing than to live in bad faith. She won't respect your strength if she smells fear from you

[mattissebfan5]

If she loves you she won't care more likely for her to be more gentle and make it better for both I lost my virginity at 21 to an escort and tell you she made it feel special and for you in love it would be really amazing

[poneglyphs]

oof, lol try being 26 and a virgin :(

[I_am_a_smart_human]

Better to tell her. If you lie, she would definitely catch you during sex.

[moviedude714]

Wasn't until 25 for me

[noohair]

Relax dude.

[Twalli]

I was a virgin until 27.5

[CuriousAZ]

Yes!

[Anonymous]

Yeah, that's kind of important

[Anonymous]

Tell her and explain exactly what you did in your question. If it hurts your relationship she may not be the one for you.