Is it normal to think like this?

Question

I feel men who sleep around are hot, but women who do it are disgusting and trashy. I don't know why, but I always felt like that.

TonyV · Accepted Answer

Men and women's dating lives are very different.
For a man to be able to sleep around he's has to have a lot of value in some way or another. It's the 80-20rule, the top 80 percent of women want just the top 20 percent of men.

If a dude sleeps around he is really charismatic or charming, or fit, or over 6 foot tall or just has a lot of money which a form of power or actual power like from his high position job, men 90% of the time have to make the first move, come up with some compelling reason why she should hang out date or sleep with him, men have to negotiate.
Now women, they just have to except an over, I'd be shocked if you found me a woman who isn't hit on or asked out constantly or frequently, and not to body shame but dont bother yelling me about the morbidly obese women they still get hit on anyways just not as much.

So yeah a guy banging strange women is a feat and an accomplishment, it's hard for most guys to do.
It's not hard for a woman to bang a strang guy, most women could bang a new guy every other night if they wanted to, most women probably have a creepy message from a stranger guy right now that they are ignoring or blocking

snackthatsmilesback · Accepted Answer

It is somewhat normal but in my opinion it makes no sense. Have you considered what the reasons could be for this double standard? Not that you HAVE to change your mind, but it's good to know why you think what you do.

Do you think sex is inherently masculine, so men who have lots of sex are many but women who have lots of sex are not womanly?

Do you associate monogamy with having a family and children, and think those things are inherently feminine?

Have you had a bad encounter with a promiscuous woman before? Or a good encounter with a promiscuous man? In that case it could just be personal bias.

ludorock · Accepted Answer

The two guys who answered so far are correct. It's a symptom of the double standards of our society. Patriarchy (and in some ways toxic Christianity) had deemed that men who are virgins are weak and pathetic, and that women who are virgins are pure and perfect and good. It tells us that men who sleep around are strong and cool and suave and important, and women who sleep around are sluts.

Both sides of that double standard are harmful and only serve to hurt people. It forces men into sexual situations which are abusive or coersive, then convinces them that they wanted it. And it puts women into a crisis so deep that often times, even if they waited 'til marriage, they still feel worthless when they do have sex. That's how deeply their identity can become hinged on that one thing. And it means that women who do have sex are devalued and considered lesser.

ChrissyZ · Accepted Answer

You won't think these men are 'hot' when they give you an STD. No one nowadays should be sleeping around. One day, these people who sleep around will regret it. Too many STD's floating around like HPV
which partners trade back and forth but which can ultimately lead to penile cancer, cervical cancer, oral cancer (think Michael Douglas) and anal cancer. And there's oral (cold sores) and genital herpes which is no fun! Keep your partners to a minimum. The fewer partners you have, the less you have to worry about.

PenkWing · Answer

Because you interiorized misogyny.

BlueWalker · Answer

I guess you wouldn't consider me very hot then. I'm monogamous AF. lol

Daniela1982 · Answer

So dress as a guy and you will always feel hot.

Pyrofox · Answer

Cause the guys who sleep around are the ones where money doesn't matter. And they can pay to keep a clean reputation.

Something 90% of women can only dream of.

And what most women never grasp is guy if they have sex with you are going to just brag about it. >.> ruining your reputation and one up'ing their own. Which just further proves its better of for women to stick to a single man rather than try to be the next red light district super star XD.

loves2learn · Answer

Nope. Not normal. Quite the double standard.

MissStrawberry912 · Answer

Double standard & shaming women to not be sexually as open as men.

molonski2 · Answer

Its an horrendous double standard certainly , but its been like this forever and a day , it won't change , really it what most think , and it becomes an entire part of the seduction and role play of genders.
Its certainly been the case than men have had a lot more pressure with regard to this over the last 20 years , despite the fact it takes two to tango. I agree with you , but I also agree its pretty crazy when it takes two to do.
The " body count " being higher , is still an issue for many men , and variety and challenge is the spice of life.

serious · Answer

No it is not normal. Your thinking is biased as well.

AndyOh · Answer

I have learned and realized that women have the same needs as men for attention, sex, and intimacy. I think women get a bad rap from being open sexually because they have the sex and we all want it. So it is generally easier for a woman to find a guy, than a guy to find a girl for sex. So they get the bad rap and reputation for it.

DonkeyDan · Answer

I think this probably fairly normal for a women to find the antics of another woman distasteful as o would think there are men that would find the antics of other men distasteful, while neither would have a problem with the antics of people of the opposite sex.

Anon621 · Answer

I can see where your train of thought is going but me personally I don't think that's normal in my opinion. I think usually it's normal to see men and women as equal and basically if you sleep with someone as a guy or a girl then you should be consistent in my opinion and consider people that sleep with others as trashy or as hot

slatyb · Answer

It’s a common belief, but it’s illogical. The numbers of men and women are about equal, so the average number of sex partners will also be about equal.

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

Funny, I've always found women who sleep around hot but I dislike other guys who do it. Maybe it's a competition thing with our own sexes?

DJB72 · Answer

I think both are looking for something that sex is actually incapable of providing.

t-8900 · Answer

Welp if you're into the guys who will never stay with you and dump you once something better comes along then have at it. That's not how the dynamic should be. But maybe you're okay with sharing a man.

pushingrope · Answer

It is common in the western world especially among those within the Judeo-Christian circles, not sure why but it is basically the default mindset within my country (united states)

Juan_Curious · Answer

Every thought and belief is normal, because it reflects real experiences through the way the owner of these thoughts and beliefs has grown up.
In my opinion, though, society, thoughout history, hasn't seen male and female sexualities as equal and tend to not recognize female arousal. The fact itself of women being the receiving part in the sexual act makes many people think that this is the result of male perseverance vs female overtolerance, ignoring the factor of mutual attraction and/or mutual arousal of equal degree.

JosyJosy · Answer

I don't

Hangry06 · Answer

Can't believe you can be a pick me girl even after 30🙌

Browneye57 · Answer

A lot of people do, but a lot also don't respect a guy that will just do anyone that will let him. It's just as cheap and sleazy as any girl that does that.

Is it normal to think like this?

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