Sexual Relationships
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How do I get my guy to initiate anal?

We are both 23 and have been together for 4 months. Sex has been great but I've been having an urge to have anal sex with him but I'm not really sure how to bring it up. The last guy I was with was a bit older (35) and he introduced me to it by slowly testing the waters with my ass during sex. Like it was something he wanted to try so I didn't really have to bring it up. And while I know the guy I'm with now isn't disgusted with it (I've seen some of his porn history) I think he either never really thought about actually trying it himself or he thinks like girls don't like it and it's only a porn thing or something? So it's like how do I kinda breach the subject without just being like "Hey love wanna fuck me up the ass?"
0 3

Superb Opinion

  • The best thing is to introduce more discussion in your relationship about what you like or don’t like, and what you would like to try. This time this is about anal sex, but you will have more curiosities and interests that you want to explore as you go on. The fact that you don’t know how to bring it up means that you don’t have a space in your relationship where you discuss sexual preferences and interests. I suggest you start working on that in general.

    There are many ways to bring it up. Find a moment to ask him what are the things that he would like to explore, if any. Maybe he would be too embarrassed to say anything at first, but you can follow up with “yeah for example I think we can have anal, if you’re into it”. Bring more topics too. Not just about acts, but also things that can be done differently. And make it playful. It’s not about having the best sex ever, but having fun and enjoying trying different things all the time. It’s not a one-shot conversation but something that can become normal talk, if you create the space for it.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, contrary to what you may think or feel: "Hey love, wanna fuck me up the ass"? may be what you need to say, as crude as it sounds on the face of it. On 'Fleabag' - Amazon series, that is what the woman star said to her lover.

    My first time with anal started with my wonderful woman, (and she was) started with her asking for it. We met at "Parents Without Partners" and had fucked a few times before.

    One evening she asked me: Have you ever done it 'like queers do it" ? I was a little 'stunned' to say the least, and asked: "What do you mean" ? She said: "Think about it" ? My response was: "If you mean in the ass, no I haven't" , and she said 'Ya wanna try it? "I did, and I loved it. 1) because she suggested it. 2) anal sex was new to me.3) it was wonderfully tight, and I was able to continue without shooting my wad right away.

    My experience with anal, is that few women suggest it, since, it probably is or can be painful if not done with some care and a lot of Astroglide GEL

    MY first 'Analingus' experience was so hot, that I did not suggest to my girlfriend at the time that I would like to 'fuck her up the ass". Sad to say

Most Helpful Girls

  • Say, "can you do me a favor and scratch my anus with your dick?" That should get the idea across.

    • Haha nice

  • Sit down and have an honest discussion. Tell him it is something you have been wanting to try.

    • Maybe but I kinda want it to be his idea...

    • Ok, maybe hint like you can tie me up and do WHATEVER you want to me. I know, loaded offer. Hard to make something someone’s idea.

    • Yeah i know, I need to perform Inception here

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 43

  • Yu have seen his porn choices and know that anal is on his list of things he likes. So stop worrying about who initiates it. Make sure you have some lube next to the bed and when you are having sex, tell him you are feeling like you really want it in your ass. That should excite him and he will be so glad you suggested it. Some guys consider it pleasurable only for the guys and do not realize many girls love it.

  • Perhaps ask for sex from behind more and respond well when he touches your ass (i. e. by sticking your ass out and/or wiggling). He will touch it more. Eventually he will find his way to touching your inner butt cheeks. Again, respond well too it. Audible gasps and smiling if he touches your butthole. If he is at all interested he should pick up on it.

  • Ask him if he's evet done it before and hopefully the conversation will progress from there.

  • Why not just ask him "Would you take my ass?"

  • Honey believe me you say the word anal he's all smiles just bring it up

  • Best thing you can do it tell him what you want.
    He may have never done that before, and might not be sure how to go about it.
    Sometimes we just need a little help.
    Bring it up during foreplay, tonight I want you do do something special to me.
    And if you are not sure how to do it I can help you with it.
    He might just get the hint.
    Or if you tend to be fairly vocal during sex tell him I want you to f.. k me in my ass.
    No sense waisting time hinting about it, just ask for it.

    • Yeah... I just don't want him to think I'm like slutty and weird and want it to be his idea

    • then it may never happen, and not to say this badly but if you are already having sex with someone, how can asking for something special be considered slutty? Me it indicates that I am with someone that knows what she wants, and I will do my best to make her wish come true.

  • I would go with the direct approach. You might be surprised.

  • Just ask him to start with fingers or buy yourself a butt plug, or something. You can introduce the idea that you like anal stimulation without spreading your cheeks and yelling "get in mah butthole" like you're a Center Lineman talking to the QB.

  • Next time you are having.. Periods tell him..

    "My pussy is sore.. But you can fuck in my ass if you like."

  • Just lube it up and sit on it

  • You're too kinky for him, you need a hot bad boy prick like me who will push those boundaries and make you their little anal fuck toy s1ave !

    If you're on the West Coast, holla at me and drop that loser!

  • Best way in my opinion is talk to him about maybe sticking his thumb in while he's hitting it from behind. As he gets comfortable with it if you're turned on ask him to try sticking it in slowly

  • Buy a tube of lube and leave it next to your bed.

  • Really your example will work, lol. Ask him if he's ever had anal sex. Ask if he wants to try.

  • I only did anal once. My girlfriend asked for it when we were all drunk. Lol. We both were not crazy about it.

  • you just go to him , and :

    hey , I have a serious question... we've been together for a while , and it's all great , but... wanna fuck me up the ass?"

  • Honestly just ask him what he thinks of anal and see what happens. Its best to just be straight forward

  • Eat his ass and after he feels how good it feels he will respond in kind

    • Also maybe, since you know he watches anal porn, watch some with him and use it as a catalyst to try it out.

  • Maybe ask if he's thought about anal with you. I think some guys don't really separate it from porn because most stories we hear are about women hating it. I asked my mom (a doctor who did colonoscopies) abouts any health risks with it. She said that there aren't any, but pretty much only guys like it.

  • Just ask him if he would be interested, nothing wrong with that.

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