As a student of medical science, I was fascinated by mental health, consciousness and perception, as well as the psychology behind human relationships. Coming out is extremely scary process for most people, because many are not lucky enough, -born into highly religious or abusive families, and run a real risk of being kicked out or physically harmed. It is possible to live in a completely gay-friendly, liberal city and still feel psychologically-unable to come out and therefore you will hide your sexual orientation. You may be terrified that your friends will view you differently and your world will be flipped upside-down; upon declaring, your same-sex friends will think you are attracted to them.
Before discussing psychologically-proven trick to help rewire your brain's thinking patterns and put an end to your self-hatred, please understand being 'closeted'. Hiding your sexuality for a number of years not only does a number on your mental health, but it also effectively digs a hole for you since the consequences of such a lie are cumulative and run deep. The more friends that you lie to, the harder it is to share the truth with any of them because your entire social circle will be comprised of people who see you as 'straight'. Being closeted is inherently terrible because it will make you feel isolated, as if there is a windowpane between you and the rest of the world.
You can change your life at any point. We exist as beings in an environmental paradigm; provided you are willing to focus on a goal and act to achieve it, there is nothing in this physical world that you cannot obtain for yourself. You can manifest anything into your reality. Your thoughts govern your actions, and your daily actions/habits dictate your entire life. With the Law of Attraction, you set goals and act as if you already have that goal.
All you need to do is imagine being out as a gay man/woman. Imagine being able to freely date without carrying agonizing shame, introducing your same-sex partner to your friends and family, if they are accepting. Focus on the warm feelings of sitting in a park with a special someone, living authentically.
Deflect all negative thoughts. Observe them as they appear and let them pass. Then, tell yourself that you already have this level of freedom, that the universe already knows what you are and that you are not 'trapped' in a straight life.
Finally, tell yourself this: "I will live my life as “someone” and proud would”. You will need to use the inner energy that you get from the manifestation techniques to start coming out. It may be uncomfortable, but keep visualizing your ultimate goal. You are as deserving of the right to live your life, shameless and free, as anyone else. You are always able to create new, positive brain pathways. It will just take time and will require you to break free from familiar, negative thoughts.
@Sangita93 I want to come out at trans (male to female), not gay if that makes a difference.
As you had mentioned (mtf) I understood the matter, but tried to reply that can be helpful to everybody. As I have some exxperience of workig in a hospital for counciling and helping people, and as a friend here - I usually support. You are welcome.
Hun it's time to stop living a lie. I have a gay friend and we were talking about it. When he came out his family wasn't even surprised. They all said they already knew they were just waiting for him to say something. Perhaps your family knows too.
Let me tell you how my evening went just before heading into work. I get out my bedroom to find my son and daughter at the kitchen table. My son is letting his sister or better said begging his sister to put stick on nails on him. Remind you these aren't kids stick on nails these are with the strong glue stick on nails. I stopped and I already knew the answer but I figured I just asked just in case he doing that not by choice "she's not making you do that right?" and he's like "I like 'em" all I could do was just shrug. They're not permanent they will fall off and they were blue. I already know my son likes his nails done he likes his eyebrows done but he dresses like a boy and he without me asking him always says he's going to marry a girl and have babies one day 🤷. I Kiss them both goodbye meanwhile I can smell the cologne on my daughter and yes I said cologne so I have one a boy who loves to get his nails done and his eyebrows and I have a daughter who for the most part likes wearing cologne occasionally mixed with her perfume she wears masculine hoodies with feminine tight flowery or sparkling bottoms and she almost got an undercut buzz but at the last minute backed out and settled for a short bob cut. Am I concerned yes as their mother? I am concerned. I worry about them being picked on and at the same time I worry about giving them a complex. I've already spoken to their psychologist who insist its best to let them run the course. If it's just a phase and I'm harsh on them they're going to rebel if it's not a phase and this is how they are I can do emotional damage to them. All I can do is love them and be thankful for my children. In the back of my mind I don't want them to be homosexual but it's not because I'm not accepting of it but more because I'm worried about them I'm worried about the challenges they will face if they are. But if they were what am I to do about it they are my children I am not going to turn my back on them... I only used homosexual as an example but if I'm honest they seem to be exhibiting non-binary behavior. Regardless they're unique and I love that about them I want them to be them and I want them to be happy. Your family could very well believe the same thing but if you not telling them you're never going to know you might be suffering for no reason and you know what though if they come upset let them be upset. They'll come around with time but you, you can't continue to hurt inside you need to be free. it's time.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Who are the people you are afraid to come out to? Maybe you can move away from your family or hang with different friends you are ok being out with. You are not obligated to come out to your family, although I can see it’s hard to keep it a secret. But taking some time away from the people who hold you back could help you get some clarity and determination. Or, at the very least, the chance to live your gender for a minute.
Tell them how you feel. From the heart. Exactly when you first knew you were female and how you felt at the time. You need their support!
I wish I had a good answer for, still battling my own fears and man it’s not going so well. My strategy is simplicity it’s self just keep trying to fight it. Do what scares you the most and if you fail fuck it just do it and fail. Baby steps don’t work because when you’re unhappy it’s very easy to give up. So what I do is take drastic steps. Put myself into really uncomfortable situations until I’m not scared of those situations anymore. I try to get out of my comfort zone and push my self. But I’m not the best person to take advice from when talking about overcoming fears.
It's a big step but the only. way to find out is to come out
I’m not sure. It sounds like a scary subject.
You can always do it gradually. Once people get used to it, take it to the next level.. Like, start out painting a specific couple of your finger nails. Jillette Penn usually has at least one of his painted. Once people get used to it, paint one or two more. A week or two later, paint a couple more, etc. The more you do, the more they'll be used to it.
In my town, a band we used to play with was called, Trash Vegas, they changed it years later to The Ultimatics. They were kind of a punk metal band. At least two of the guys in the band ALWAYS wore eye liner on stage. At least one wore it ALL THE TIME!! Even years after the band broke up! (Sadly, he just died a couple months ago). He wasn't trans but, he ALWAYS wore a little make-up and was well known for it!
In my band, I ALWAYS wore a leotard, scooter skirt and silky pantyhose! My fans DEMANDED it!! If I wasn't wearing that, it just wasn't a TWL show to them!! Quite often, on Halloween, I'd wear a bra and two large silicone tits.
One day, I decided to wear them on the way to work. Just the bra and tits (D cups) not the rest. I stopped in at the McDonald's where I usually got my breakfast every morning and, of all people, the manager waited on me!! Shh and most of the crew were black. They are usually the first ones in a crowd to make fun of that sort of thing! The place was jumping!! Loaded with workers and customers and there I am, 6' 9", with these huge D cups sticking right in this woman's face (about a foot away, she was eye level to them) and she never once even looked at them!! She just smiled at me the whole time and professionally took and served my order!! I think only one younger guy on one of the 3 buses I took showed his distaste for it by a facial expression and shaking his head. A white guy. Other than that, I had NO problems from ANYONE!!
What might be a big help to you is to move to a place where a lot of people "like" you abound. For instance, here, it's Oakland and the S. Side. People wear ANY DAMN THING THEY WANT and NOBODY bothers them!! These are mostly college kid areas. Oakland has 3 colleges within 2 miles of each other!!
We also have a trans club here where, at least once a week, all the club members gather at a chosen restaurant, have dinner in their chosen attire and hang out with each other for an hour or 3. Maybe you can even start such a club in your area if there isn't one already!!
I highly suggest starting by getting some counseling from a licensed therapist. Look around and try to find one with some experience on the matter but without strong opinions. You need to make your decisions. I do have some experience with this, you can feel free to private message me if you have any questions.
I don't think anyone should transition unless they're intersex, either due to having abnormal/multiple genitalia, hormonal imbalance, and/or abnormal chromosomes. Note that simply having a hormonal imbalance doesn't make one intersex, only in combination with the others. Most people with different genitalia tend to have a mix of testicles and ovaries or one of the genitalia is deformed (i. e., enlarged clitoris and normal vagina).
It's perfectly fine to present oneself as a tomboy or tomgirl or to come out as non heterosexual. Of course, you don't have to listen to me and go ahead with modifying your body, but don't expect others to follow your delusions if you aren't intersex. For me personally, I suspect I might have Klinefelter's Syndrome (XXY), but even if I get tested and it's legit, I don't think I'll be transitioning anytime soon.
@bingbongbangbung I just had to post this here. I read your username to this tune, lol!
https://youtu.be/vJj3Ch79tNs
I dont think anyone is really gonna not accept you, after all, all these things are becoming normal nowadays
Amazing that you always have to bring it up. Must be the height of confusion.
Get a good counselor. Good luck becoming the girl you want to be,
So you and be happy doing you. If they aren't for your happiness, f them.
You should find a support group for people like you. You can probably do this on the down low and maybe hearing the stories of other trans people when they came out will give you more confidence. At worst it will at least give you a support group if it all goes bad.
P. S. can I pm you. I may want to date a MTF person if they ever actually decide to switch, but I don't know that much about how sexual relationships work.
Search your soul and get in touch with yourself
Start hanging out with people like yourself, that should help.
You look like a girl, how are you a closet trans?
That’s a FaceApp edit.
Oh! Ok
Start small with people you trust the most. That's the biggest step, then jost slowly be publically open about it.
It's not that difficult
Is that you in profile pic?
If I had a pound (dollar) for every time I was asked that. The short answer is kinda. It’s an edited photo.
Nice edited pic. You look gorgeous. Write your feelings and try to open up to empathetic people one at a time. Moms are usually good to start with.
Now where do I transfer that dollar? 🤔
All I can say is " just do it or don't" not exactly as sympathetic as is like but as a straight cis guy... Not exactly much I can say on the matter m
''as I'd like''/ typed on my iPhone.
hence, the ''m'' instead of the.
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