Sexual Relationships
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He chose to have unprotected anal sex with me even though we’re casual = does it mean anything?

So, there was this guy I met on tinder I was seeing last year, we were supposed to just be fuckbuddies, but I got feelings for him so he would lie & say he loved me & that he wanted to date me but it was obvious he was lying.

However, I lost my anal virginity to him, & he chose to do it without a condom. I was okay with it of course because I was attracted to him & loved him, but I’m just wandering, does his choice to do anal with me unprotected mean anything? Does it mean he trusted that I’m clean? Or that he was just attracted enough to me do it? Is it possible that he had maybe some feelings for me? Or could it just be that he has unprotected anal sex with everyone & doesn’t really think about STD’s?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • No it likely doesn't mean anything. Only he can answer this for sure for you, but the REAL thing you should be focusing on is that you have feelings and he doesn't. He has no respect for that (ie he didn't end the situation to protect your feelings, sounds like he made a joke of it and is continuing it!), so why are you staying it it? Trust me YOU have to protect yourself here, he obviously isn't going to. Your feelings for him are only going to deepen, then what? His aren't going to change. So you're only asking for more and more heartache the longer this goes on. I fell for mine once, and as cruel as she was to me when she ended it, she did do me that FAVOR by ending it. Because like you, I wouldn't have and it hurt like hell then! I can only imagine if it had continued!!! So as someone that has been where you are, trust me you want out now. Just some food for thought. Again, you have to protect yourself, he won't.

    • actually we already stopped talking, he deleted me a few months ago & things between us have ended, but I just haven't gotten over my feelings for him yet since we're in lockdown & I haven't really been able to meet anyone new, which is why I'm still asking. I also only just made an account for the first time on this website a few days ago, so I've started asking a few old questions I've had in my head, none of this is currently happening now.

  • It doesn't mean anything. It's just a guy wanting to feel himself bust inside you. Any sex is better without a condom for a guy, and with anal being tighter it feels great. He did that because he knows you can't get pregnant which gave him license to just nut in you.
    As for stds, horny guys don't think, they do to fulfil their needs

    • yeah this is realistic and well said. it doesn't mean anything, it's just a horny guy's desire to feel himself bust inside me and feel everything raw without a condom blocking any sensation, as sex is always better without a condom for a guy. Yeah, he was definitely keen about anal, & it must have been because he felt safer to nut in there without the fear of getting me pregnant. Yeah, horny guys don't really think about STD's. I've noticed that now.

    • Thank you! And it is true, a lot of guys hate condoms because it takes away the specialty of sex and feeling. Anal is just something guys like to do with girls, it's a forbidden fruit to a lot. Personally I want to try it if the girls okay with it. Well yeah stds are like the aftermath and a pain but for pleasure, hormones control us rather than nerves so it's about the moment

Most Helpful Girls

  • It means absolutely nothing at all get rid of this dude unless your into being used and don’t care about your health. You seem lost …. a guy doesn’t love you based off sex. You stay away from those guys. Plus If you can’t hook up without catching feelings then this is not the game for you to play. Many guys will try to have unprotected sex please make them wear a condom and don’t be naive😐 unless you want an STD.

    • yeah look we're not seeing or talking to each other anymore, it's ended. this happened a year ago but I didn't use this website back then & I'm asking it now to express my feelings about some unanswered questions I've had all this time and see if people have any opinions I haven't heard from my friends or family previously. I've learned from this experience and have decided that casual sex isn't for me and that I'm not gonna let myself get used & played like that again. I hadn't had much experience before him, or bad ones at least, so I went through that, ended it, & have changed my standards.

  • I'm sorry, but so many guys will have unprotected sex with you. It's not because he trusts you, he's just thinking of his own personal pleasure. I know you want to read into everything to convince yourself that this person sees you as more than a sexual partner, but I'm afraid that's not the case.

    • Yeah I thought so. He probably wasn’t thinking of any risks & was just thinking about his personal pleasure. Yeah no, it’s okay I’ve always known he just sees me as a sexual partner

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 18

  • i mean, why the fuck aren't you making sure you're on birth control?
    it means you're both fucking morons.

    • because it was unprotected ANAL and not vaginal. you can't get pregnant in the ass. YOU'RE a moron for not reading the question properly and for being so ignorant.

    • Oof, yeah my bad for not reading the one word I needed for context XD but fyi, yeah, it means fuck all.

  • Sadly, you must assume the later and were I, you...
    I'd proactively get tested.
    You have no concrete grounds by which to judge your 'Buddy's TRUE intentions and STD's status.
    For all you know, he could be some masquerading zealot 'typhoid Mary'
    out to 'punish' such "brazen libertines" as yourself and all those males
    whom LITERALLY cum after him. ~

  • It means you’re taking super huge risks amd need to be more careful with your health.

    • I'm talking about his decision not mine.

  • It means he wanted to do you up the poop shoot and was too lazy to slip on a rubber.

    I'm afraid the only thing to read from his actions is he is willing to tell you anything you want to hear in aid of getting you to part your legs!

  • Why are you convinced he was lying.
    Men catch feelings too you know, faster than women even as the statistics show.
    He might have been bad at expressing his geelings and didn't sound genuine when he confessed but it doesn't necessarily mean he was lying

    • that is also a possibility, but I'm still not really convinced.

  • It means he likes to fuck anus bare and you have gifted yourself a big risk by having unprotected anal sex.

    • yeah great. this was already a year ago & I haven't even had any sex since then & I've been fine. no STD's or anything. Guess I got lucky.

  • Are you insane? You can get STDs from anal sex just as easily as you can from vaginal sex.

    • Um no I’m not insane. Obviously I know that, I never said anything about not getting STD’s from anal sex. I KNOW you can get more STD’s from anal sex, & even more than from vaginal, & my question was how come that guy still did it with me unprotected when there’s so much risk & how he didn’t seem to care about the risk. Looks like you didn’t read my question properly.

    • The risk is almost entirely yours.

    • yeah you're not reading my question properly. I asked why he did it without a condom and not with one. I'm not asking about my risks.

  • Doesn't really mean anything.

    • yeah thought so, just needed to hear it from others.

  • It means that he isn't concerned about your anal hygiene.

  • Unprotected anal sex is very intimate especially with a serious relationship partner. An exGF of mine years ago loved it and we'd do the same when she was ovulating.

    It's entirely your choice to go bareback instead of wearing condoms so don't feel bad enjoying skin on skin sex. Once you go bareback you never go back to using condoms. At least that's what's happened in my case lol 🤣

    Hopefully you're in a better place @nocturnalbaby and it's great to see another Aussie 🇦🇺 here.

    • I'm from Sydney too 👍

  • I mean just the fact that he's probably exploring some other girls anal cavity by now should tell you enough, right?

    • well I don't know that for sure, but it's just what I assume. and also even if he is/was exploring other girls' anal cavities, I don't know if he was doing it unprotected or not.

  • It means he didn't want to wear a condom.

  • I dont think it necessarily means he caught feelings (although he might have) it just means he wanted to have anal sex

    • yeah obviously he just wanted anal, but my question is why he chose to do it without a condom.

  • Nope

    • facts

  • Some guys are just idiots and don't care if they catch STDs, it doesn't mean he loves you because of anal sex, and don't have sex buddies if you really want love.

    • this is a pretty realistic answer. I appreciate it. It's basically what I wanted to hear, expressed honestly, without being rude or judgmental. it's definitely well said that guys are just idiots and don't really care or think about catching STD's, especially when they're horny. yeah I'm not saying anal was a sign that he loves me, I was just wandering whether his decision to take a risk like having unprotected anal sex with me was some sort of sign of trust or chemistry, but as most people have said, most likely not. I have stopped with the whole fuck buddy thing. I haven't seem him for a year & we stopped talking a few months ago. He was the bad experience that made me realise casual fuck buddy relationships are not for me. I haven't had sex since him, & I''m not having sex until I get into a relationship, however long that may take.

    • You're welcome and we all have to learn from our mistakes. Not all guys are idiots. I never have a been a fuck buddy for anyone. It's better to find someone that cares about you. Best wishes

  • Not sure if it means anything to him.

    • yeah thought so, it helps more when other people tell me this directly.

    • Yeah. Sometimes it doesn't feel good knowing something like that, but better knowing than not knowing.

  • You have made mistake, you allowed him anal sex with you without condom, he was not your regular boyfriend about whom you know about STD or other disease, if you love him so definitely he also love, anal sex is not bad, it is also part of sex

  • Keep your vowel clean before endulge in anal sex

  • It means he wanted to stick his dick up your butt

    • yes obviously, but my question is why he did it unprotected & not with a condom.

    • Because he wanted to

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