Sexual Relationships
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Are you often surprised at how vanilla some people are, or does it amaze you at how kinky some can be?

Are you a kinky person and surprised at how many people are vanilla and not open to new things?
Are you vanilla and can't understand how people are into something's you find too much or repulsive?
Maybe you would like to be the opposite to the way you are, and wish you could be more adventurous, or maybe you think you're too adventurous, and would just like to have regular sex for once.
Personally I'm really open minded when it comes to sex and have done a lot of different things over the years, but wouldn't consider myself super kinky. While I do still have my limits, it does still surprises me at the number of people who are not open to different types of sexual experiences.
Or are totally grossed out by something that many people actually do on a regular basis and don't even want to think about it.
I'm not saying they are wrong, but having experienced a lot of things and enjoyed them immensely it's strange to me that some just wouldn't be prepared to even consider some things, there are also things I've tried than I didn't like but I was still prepared to find out if I would or not.
What's you opinion on it all?
Are you often surprised at how vanilla some people are, or does it amaze you at how kinky some can be?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Everyone pretty much starts out as vanilla and vanilla sex is the foundation of everything. Vanilla sex is very much physical connection and emotional connection of two people and @purplepoppy sums it up really well.

    it’s also funny how what is vanilla changes throughout the ages.

    Oral sex was (and by some likely still is) considered kinky, however these days it’s sort of accepted part of sex.

    Things like Porn and 50 Shades have brought to the forefront kinky sex, however it’s not that accurate on real life.

    You often here guys say ‘yeah I choke her or slap her ass etc’ I would put money on zero communication happening as to if the other person actually likes it or more importantly gets off on it emotionally / sexually.

    Communication is really important in understanding what is kinky sex and what is just doing stuff you saw in a porn movie.

    I have a background in pretty bad edge play and other aspects of BDSM, however the majority of the kinky stuff is not for me, it’s for the other person. There is a thing called Dom drop or Top drop

    https://lovingbdsm.net/2018/04/27/dom-drop-and-aftercare-lb127/

    https://lovingbdsm.net/2018/04/25/dom-drop-happens/

    I would be worried about anyone that can inflict pain on another person without feeling shit afterwards, that is not a good relationship.

    short answer is yes I’m kinky, but I don’t really class it as kinky and don’t kink shame anyone.

    I know if I put ‘stuff’ on here it would get deleted and my account frozen lol.

    Society is not open enough to talk about kinks and there is still a huge amount of disinformation out there.

    • That's a great answers thanks @ChrisMaster69

    • ‘yeah I choke her or slap her ass etc’ I'll put money that that doesn't happen LOL.

  • I agree with what you said
    But not all people look at sex the same way, over the last two years I saw a lot of different tastes and styles of sex in people, they all have their unique ways of enjoying
    but most of them look at it as a job that just needs to be done although some actually value sex, usually, they're the best
    I had sex with a virgin who was better at it than a girl who had 14 partners before me
    and the only reason was that she learned about most aspects of sex even tho she was a virgin

    • Generally I'd say there is no substitute for practice but I've also been with women who've had a lot of past partners but aren't enthusiastic about sex and it's just boring.

    • I'm not gonna say it's 100% BS that more sex means you're better but I know for a fact that most people when having sex, get lost in it and will not remember or learn anything from it

Most Helpful Girls

  • When you see here just how hard it is for people to communicate with their partners on the most basic level, “Why doesn’t he respond to my multi texts sooner than thirty min…?” It doesn’t surprise me people have hang-ups exploring their sexuality.
    I think people fear labels too and don’t want to talk about it or try things they might have heard/read about. Those that do are or were lucky enough to find that one partner to introduce them to having an open mind.
    This isn’t something that is easy to explore on your own. It’s the right timing at the best part of your life and with a comfortable/safe partner. Some people might never find that combination.

  • I'm surprised by how vanilla peoples' entire personalities are. Never mind the sex.
    I'm not kinky. But I'm not passive in sex, at all.
    The sex is not a problem for me. It's how dull many people are, how little thought and effort they put into things.
    There's a female user on here who has a banner I just saw a couple of days ago - 'Fuck me with your mind.' Damn straight, sister.
    Fuck me with your mind (or it's a platonic friendship, or whatever), and the door opens to the other stuff. It doesn't begin with kink. It begins with words. 'What do you have to say... about life?' is the real question. Let's start there.

    • Yes I know exactly what you mean.

    • I totally agree with you! I LOVE exchanging long, lengthy emails detailing the things I want to do, or try with a woman. I love asking questions (in an email) that most would never dare to ask. Have you ever wanted to try "this" or "that"? What is your wildest/kinkiest sexual fantasy? To me, turning on a woman like that, at first ALWAYS makes for some AMAZING hot, kinky sex!

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What Girls & Guys Said

9 9

  • Kinky? Definition please. 😕

    • I guess everyone defines it slightly differently for their own benefit, but for me it would be things outside of just straight up vaginal sex. Vanilla would be not straying from the standard routine and not entertaining variations in vaginal sex, and nothing more than a bit of straightforward foreplay. It doesn't have to mean hardcore BDSM or anything like that

    • @donkeydan I have a kink. It is GaG 🤣 ANYTHING but vanilla. 😬

    • @PerttyPriya Definitely not vanilla here🤣

    • Show All

  • I think a lot of people need to master vanilla before moving on to kinky. Vanilla is the foundation for good sex and all the add ons are often just a way of disguising bad technique.

    • Yes totally agree which that, you have a get your training wheels off before moving on.

    • This... yes definitely this.

  • Definitely the first. And it makes me feel like I'm 'too hardcore' or something lmao kinkshaming is real

    • too hardcore? why?

    • What is your idea of "too hardcore"? What kinds of things do you like to do that is kinky?

  • I think I get pretty kinky with myself for being a virgin, and the few open conversations I’ve had with friends some are surprised by that.

    • Oh, I bet you would make a really HOT pen pal. I would love to read all of your fantasies (in an email).

  • Some people I know have been married for 40 years and only have missionary sex

    • That’s lame

  • Umm it makes me feel like I'm a real freak lol the things I've done blow my simple friends minds lol idc imma do me regardless

    • Oh I love the way you think! I would love to know what your fantasies are. I would love to know what you like to do and what you would like to be "dared" to do! lol

  • Everyone is different and everyone has secret desires that they never reveal.

  • I am not surprised on how vanilla people are because as a society we prefer to suppress sex and sexuality and promote violence instead.

  • Vanilla-ness surprises me way more than kinkiness. Kink is just a person knowing what exactly gets them going. When a woman is totally vanilla, it's a sign that she's not comfortable with her sexuality. She's a woman; she gets off on having stuff shoved inside her. If she isn't having fun with that, there's something wrong.

  • I am very vanilla

  • Vanilla is a racist term in the world today.

  • Yeah i think its weird how vanilla people can be. They watch a movie for example where the dude slams a girl up against the wall and pulls her hair and says "you're mine baby girl" and they think thats hot (and not even kinky in my opinion) yet then they dont even have sex like that. Smh.

  • It does surprised me how many arn't even the least bit curious about non-conventional sex.

  • I’m very kinky so

    • Well, don't keep me in the dark. What do you like to do that is kinky? Do you have any wild or kinky fantasies?

  • Everyone has their desires and turn ons. You know I’m kinky, but I don’t like anal! 🤷🏻‍♂️ bring the knives 🔪 leave the butt lube…

  • I am very vanilla.

    With chocolate sauce, sprinkles, and a nice cherry strategically place on top. It's all about presentation...

  • It never surprises me if someone chooses to be vanilla. It doesn't necessarily have to mean for a boring or lousy experience. I think before you can be kinky you first need to be able to :-
    i) In a basic and standard motel room be able to perform a good foreplay on a girl to the point that she wants to pull you into her.

    ii) Be able to fuck a girl in missionary position, bring her to at least 1 orgasm and when it is over she feels she connected with you, belonged to you because you took ownership of her, happy and satisfied she allowed you to have sex with her and finally she'll want to be cuddled by you or sleep the night with you.

    iii) Do a good post sex cuddle in a way that will comfort her, make her feel good about herself and feel contented but would want more again.

    I'm often surprised at the kind of stuff that people are into and passes off as kinky.
    I mean seriously being into her piss and shit isn't kinky it's just gross and wrong.

  • Well I like it kinky, so when I'm with a kinky girl it's a lot of fun.

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