Should I ask my ex for it?

[postempestas]

Man, I am young and right now, life is so boring (specially this fall and winter, hate fall and winter bc they make me so depressed). I really need sex. Said it. We all do. I am talking to a guy who doesn't seem to be too into me, he gives bunch of excuses and silence and I am tired, I am afraid his sex isn't even that good or worth it. So I was seriously considering to text my ex. I ended it bad with him but he was never mad at me, I was the only person mad there, he was fine with it.

This seems desperate but at the moment it's too hard to find anyone, I barely found this guy who is full of bullshit instead of mood to fuck me. I grew up, I've changed my view towards older guys, I wouldn't make the same mistake with my ex, bc I am sooo sick n tired, I just want safe sex and I know It would be safe with him. I just don't want talking to him about it to be a mistake. I am just thinking about it and haven't decided yet, but I need reassuranse.

[bowenw]

If there's no one else available and you are both horny, ask your ex. Be sure to tell him you want to be friends with benefits, but nothing more (or whatever rules you want to set).

[postempestas]

Already did. Ok just said hi. he's working rn. But hey its not like im hella needy, im just trying my luck. Testing the waters. See how he reacts. I haven't told him my intentions yet ofc.

[bowenw]

Good strategy on your part to take it slow. I hope it works out for you the way you want.

[postempestas]

Well it went pretty fucking bad. He was just replying, only talking about his job, didn't ask me a single question.. Oof I didn't expect this cold shoulder from him lol

[bowenw]

That's too bad, and his loss. Do you know some other guys that would be interested?

[postempestas]

Update: big change of evebts. He said yes. he's dtf YOO Lmao What a 360° that was lmao Im shook.

[bowenw]

Good news. What changed his mind?

[postempestas]

I really have no idea lmao He just said okay, leta do it. Come over now. I was like wtf :0 I couldnt but i had my confirmation which is what I wanted HAHAHAA yesterday he sounded so uninterested.. Anyways, i better not mess this up. Tbh i dont feel a thing for him, i see him as another man. Maybe bc of the last dude who fucked me over I don't know.

[bowenw]

If you have no feelings he can't play mind games. Have fun.

[bowenw]

Will you be seeing your ex again?

[postempestas]

Sure. With calm, no pressure. I don't feel myself obsessed or impatient. I am just happy I can enjoy a man's company smts. I haven't felt anything like "omg this felt like when I was in love" no lol We just chillin, cuddling, fucking, that's all. Bc we want and can.

[bowenw]

That sounds exactly like what you were hoping for. Are you worried he will catch feelings?

[postempestas]

Nahhh haha I don't think he will. And no I have no problem or he does hahq I may like him back I don't know. But I don't know if I would be surprised. Like when we are together we really act like a couple, we do everything a couple does, details. And once i go out the door we are just neighbours, not much more. But that day after the session he texted me. The first time he texted first in a long time hahah I am really curious now. How can a man do all those things with a girl and not want more from her?

[postempestas]

And like, we all want intimacy and company but I don't know how far this will go or if its gonna go any further haha time will tell, in my case, I'll do all my best to keep my head cold

[bowenw]

Some guys get horny and don't care who they have sex with and never catch feelings, but many guys will want more. Like you say, time will tell with your ex. You've got your head on straight so you'll be fine no matter what happens.

[FireFox001]

Well, just because you found one guy that is full of shit, it doesn't mean that others are too. Maybe you should look a bit harder. Who knows what you could find. Reconnecting with an ex for sex never ends well. You are better off looking forward.

[postempestas]

It's complicated where I am, unless I start to use tinder... Lol which nah, It's not for me.

[FireFox001]

Complicated? How so? :D Trust me I know complicated - for me, it's due to my job.

[postempestas]

I don't have a way to meet new people, i have no friends here where I live and no man dares to come at me. I was the one making the first step with the last one but he's full of shit ye.

[FireFox001]

No man dares to come at you? O. o What... how... when? :D I mean are you a bear in disguise or what?

[postempestas]

I mean no man dares to shoot their shot, none that I know tried.

[FireFox001]

Sounds weird. Guys are usually pretty bold when they want to get something :D

[postempestas]

And no, im not the problem lol At least physically cuz I am a solid 7, I like to think.

[FireFox001]

Well, without knowing you, I'll have to take your word for it. Still, it's interesting. But whatever you do, don't go back the ex route. That's a very bad idea.

[postempestas]

Hmmm I don't know, I haven't decided at all.

[PositiveNote]

Oh, no, no, no!!! Don't ever look back, girl!! Keep on moving forward. If it's sex you want, just going on a dating site and say so!!! (Or PM me!)

[Andres77]

Toys... safest sex... no baggage.
Good luck

[Stevefiveo]

I think you should find someone different. The breakup will be twice as bad with an ex.

[Caliguy88]

I’ve done the ex thing. I’m in favor!

[2021biguy]

The body makes chemicals that make you feel depressed when there is no sunlight like a bear hibernating. Your ex is an ex for a reason, try to make friends.

[Tstrbrainer]

Yes. I would have suggested that you come to me instead, but since I'm faar away, definitely go for your ex.
All the best

[B4852]

If you don't like talking with him is the sex really worth it?

If I didn't like someone I really don't think I could do it, certainly wouldn't be enjoyable.

[postempestas]

I don't dislike him. I don't hate him anymore. Id just see this as a favor for both.

[B4852]

Ok. Then at least there is no hate and dislike.

[B4852]

But I understand how strong that feeling and need can be.

[postempestas]

Ohh yess, at times it gets soo annoying and exhausting, when you are by yourself and have a lot of free time to think over and over. And I am saying after u rething real problems, not that u need sex. I think sex has become pretty vital to be happy in life.

[B4852]

Very true. And with not only the natural hormones that we have, but all the other stimuli that is there from media and other sources reinforcing the feeling making more difficult to focus on anything else.

[postempestas]

Im 21. The most fertile and horny age lol But to say by my personality, I am a very sexual person so I don't think this is only my age, I think and hope to be like this forever haha

[B4852]

We all hope to feel like that. And fortunately in my case I still do, and with my family history I have a really good chance of that being something I can look forward to. So I hope you get to keep feeling that way!

[ChuckD6381]

As long as it was not a toxic relationship I think it would be ok

[Anonymous]

Want it then ask for it.
Don't want it then don't ask for it.

Life isn't that complicated.