Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Single Mothers are primarily to blame for their situation. True or False?

To christen my entry onto gag, I'll open with some controversy.

Personal opinion. I often don't sympathize with single moms because their specific situation is pretty much entirely their fault in most cases. Tho some I do share sympathy for individual life difficulties they face outside of that.

The only single moms I have full sympathy for are:

1. Widows who had a child with the man they wanted to start a family with before he died

And

2. Women that are raped and are strongly against abortion. They were put in an impossible position

Outside of that, pretty much all other cases becoming a single mom was their choice and don't really have right to complain about it now.

With the sheer amount of contraception today, no child is born today unless the mother chooses it. There's the pill, the morning after pill, getting tubes tied, IUD's, bringing back up condoms, requiring men to have a condom to have sex.

And even if all that fails she can unilaterally decide to have an abortion without the man's consent. So being a single mom is 100% her choice.

For that reason, while it sucks a lot of the time. No sympathy. If you're not the rare case of raped or widowed I really don't want to hear about the hardships of singe motherhood or how it's the man's fault or that he should have done this or that.

You decided to have his child while not being in a relationship or married at the end of the day. It's the woman's choice to have the child. And if you decide to have his child without being connected in some way you are choosing single motherhood and that's on you.
Yea, pretty much her fault
Vote A
Na, definitely the man's fault
Vote B
Other, explain below
Vote C
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
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Updates:
+1 y
To clarify, when I say single mom I'm not implying deadbeat dad. Simply a mother who is not with the father, where the man may or may not be in the child's life.
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • False. Not a fair judgment. A woman who isn't a widow or wasn't rape and ended up as a single mom definitely deserves blame and responsibility, but there are other factors at play.

    A woman didn't get pregnant by herself, she actually needed a man to agree to take off his clothes and repeatly have sex with her unprotected while ejaculating in her.

    During or after the pregnancy the man could have abandoned her and the child because he didn't desire to take on the responsibility of raising a child and being with the family he created or the woman became intolerable and broke up with the man for any reason she wanted to.

    Situations like this aren't black and white, it goes much deeply than what the eye can see.

    • Agree they tend to go deeper. But to go even deeper still. If she left him she is choosing single motherhood in that act. If she becomes intolerable and doesn't try to make things work, knowing that eventually he's going to leave. She in a way is choosing single motherhood. I think of one example of a guy I know he was married with child with his girl. There was not a day of their relationship that she had a job. My friend worked to care of himself, her, and their child. She cheated on him while he was working 80 hours a week to care for them. They work it out and continue on. End up having two more kids. Years go by and one day she decided to take the kids and run. Steals his family from him. Whatever the reason. She chose single motherhood. Then she realized how hard it might be and gave the kids to him. So now he is a sole parent of 3 kids and she's a deadbeat mom.

  • That is usually the case, like a good 75% of the time. But not always. And yes, you did bring up the raped or widowed exception. However, in this case, I will say it is not 100% the woman's fault. She may have had a baby with a man she seriously thought was going to be a good father and he walked out on her. Or there's just plain old divorce, and maybe the man initiated it. So the best I can say here is "Other." If you said "it's usually her fault (but not always)," I'd give you that.

    • I could have been more clear since my end point is they carry primary responsibility in this in most cases. And I intended to use 100% regarding her choice rather than say 100% responsibility which seems to have been what came across. I feel you

    • Most clear-headed response

    • Thanks for the MHO.

Most Helpful Girls

  • As a sexually active women I mostly agree with you, there are so many options to prevent pregnancy today. I have been on and off birth control over the years and I am not proud of it but I have had sex with more men than I can count. I have also had hookups with and without condoms where guys have came inside me. On the times when I don't have birth control I take a plan B pill and I have always been baby free.

    Alos I am very pro life since I don't believe in murdering babies so the fact that women are using abortion as birth control is disgusting to me.

  • For your sake, it is much better for you to remain single than to have sex with a woman because you are a slave of your sexual hormones and then to abandon her because you are too coward to accept your responsibilities.

    That excuse would come before the ones you mentioned because that is how most single mothers have to raise the child from a husband/partner that has no backbone.

    • @sueshe as a single father who raised two kids I agree with you completely.

    • @nawtee_me Both genders have their share of black sheep. It is not the sole prerogative of men and I am sure you did a fantastic job at raising your kids to be decent people.

    • That's just an ad hominem Perhaps you're too attached to this emotionally to honestly consider my point and refute that, or even politely disagree. You're moving on to making it about me because you can't deal with the subject matter. That's fine. Just be honest about it. I wouldn't pretend to know how you are as a person

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 8

  • False. There are dead beat dads, abusers or dads that don't want anything to do with their kids after they are born.

  • Not just single mothers. . . we are ALL responsible for the consequences of our choices and actions.

  • Grow so balls.

    • Some*

  • False. It's not black and white.
    Some couple just fall out of love in time.
    Some people change, the father, for the sake of this topic, may have gone abusive.

  • False

  • As a single father that raised two kids I agree with @SueShe

    It is the mans responsibility too. He can have a vasectomy which can be reversed later if he chooses to have kids. He can wear a condom every time he has sex. He can man up and be a father to the child he produced.

    • Perhaps it wasn't as clear as it could have been Single Mother doesn't imply the man is not in the child's life. It simply means she is not with the father and is a single woman who has a child. I never implied or really considered people would jump to assume deadbeat dad. Respect to you for raising your kids to the best of your ability. But my end point is that women have the final say on this subject regardless of what the man wants. And because of that she has primary responsibility. Yes men have some responsibility as well. It is not equal. Not in a society where unilateral choice of abortion is in the hands of women and the right to child support as well. As a guy you don't have the choice. So it stands to reason the woman carries more responsibility in this, which doesn't tend to be emphasized at all

  • Unless she's a widow it is primarily her fault. Most of the time when the man isn't ready to have kids or doesn't want to have kids THE WOMAN KNOWS and yet chooses to have the child anyway then gets surprised when the man disappears. She made the ultimate decision to have the child therefore the responsibility is on her

  • Nope, it depends on the situation. I agree a lot of single mothers are responsible for their situation but the fathers are often responsible too.

    • Yeah, I know it does happen where the guy just leaves. Just the vast majority of the time when I hear about a single mother situation she's almost always on some level at fault Like I've met women who outright said they won't allow their child to see their father. So the man is trying to be in the child's life but the mother won't allow it. But she'll still also turn around to talk about how hard being a single mother is and how she has to do it all on her own, when she really doesn't

  • Yeah if your not single ex wife. I have very little respect for you.

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