Why do I still live in question of why I got ghosted?

[Anonymous]

There was this guy that I was seeing. For months.. I mean, months. Respectfully, nothing happened outside of my apartment. He pulled the busy card on me. Couldn't properly communicate with me. I had to ask him to communicate better. I was in the wrong for giving him a second chance when I dumped him in the first place. All we did was have sex.
I had a lot going on. I had a dog that wasn't in good health, who later has went up to heaven. Have a grandma that has Alzheimers. Parents were stressed out. It was an awful day. When I told him the person that I was. My reaction for things. It was a miscommunication. He asked if I was alright. Obviously, I said No. Yet I was going to pull through. He said something about how maybe I shouldn't take things forward with us. The way things sounded in text, I expected the worst... and I questioned, questioned, questioned. Begging for us to work. I blew up his phone, of course.. Anxiety getting the best of me. I learned. He said how he'd think about us, and... I got ghosted... Mhmm..

A guy that told me how much he likes me. Thinks about me. Do this and that in the future with me. Yet, nothing happened outside of my apartment. When he said he'd think about me, it was always sexual terms. Though he's a person, and we get horny at times.. We met December of 2020. From knowing abuse in my last relationship, he made me feel myself..

I have learned to focus on myself. Self-care, and I'm happy for that. In the back of my mind, I still asked what I did wrong. How long can this go on for? Of course, I was dumb. I let him back. You're also right.. I was dumb enough to stay and wait for him to communicate better to me. I just missed the guy that I thought he was.

[DonkeyDan]

Ok so the part where it all fell apart was you blowing up his phone with anxiety messages, that was the red flag he needed to send a quick message to basically smooth things over with a message equating to stop messaging me, with the "I'll think about us" message. Well he thought about it and decided that it was too much haste for him. I'm sorry if it isn't what you wanted to hear, but basically for something that appeared to be casual you came on too strong and he bailed.

[Asker]

Hey! I do understand where you’re coming from within’ the situation, yet this guy has mentioned to me how he likes me too. Maybe I was a bit too strong, and he did bail. I showed emotions on my sleeve. I think he either didn’t want to hurt me, or he was just flat out done with the situation. He wasn’t good at communicating how he felt over things. I always put my emotions out first. When I confessed that I liked him, he told me how he did too. He just didn’t want to tell me right away.

[20yearsolder]

Obviously he didn't feel the same where about you as you felt about him. He was there for a piece of pussy. You said yourself that It was all sexually. When it got serious, he said fuck this and that's when you got ghosted. I'm sorry it happened to you. We live and we learn. I'm also happy that you're no longer in an abusive relationship. I'm super proud of you. Keep up the great work

[Asker]

Thank you. 💕 People have told me this too. It was personally hard for me to believe. He just lied to me, making me hear what I wanted.. whatever the case is.

[20yearsolder]

I don't mean to rub salt in the wound but evidently he enjoyed having sex with you but when you told him that you actually had feelings for him. I think it's scared to shit out of him

[Asker]

Oh! Definitely. I know he did. He always talked and told me his sexual thoughts about me. I just wish, even busy.. that he told me he couldn't do what I wanted. He knew what I wanted. Yet, he kept telling me on how much he wanted to flow with time. I thought to myself.. Damn, and you still can't even take me on a date. Though he confessed on how much he liked me. No good morning text messages. I question on why he talked future things with me of traveling together and this and that.. I'm mad at the fact that I got months wasted.. I'm annoyed.

[20yearsolder]

I totally understand your frustration, it just sounds to me like he was playing the game hoping to get into your panties. Unfortunately the world is full of people just like him. Trying to take advantage of others. And the part that breaks my heart is it will make you cautious with every relationship from now on because of one douchebag treating you poorly

[GingerGuy]

I know all too well how hard it is to not analyze this to death, but you can't. ALL him 100%. 100% selfish, that's it and the only reason. Not thinking of YOU in any way at all. Therefore nothing about you. Just selfish, immature and disrespectful.

[bowenw]

You are human and these kind of things can hurt for a long time. You were upfront with him and did everything in your power to make it work. As far as I can tell, you never did anything wrong and he's the one that derailed the relationship.

[Asker]

Thank you. 💕 It has been a month now. I believe I am getting better through time. I don’t think about him as much. There are times where I look back a bit. Where I ask what may have went wrong. Maybe I shouldn’t have blown up his phone, asking for us to work.. You know? I shouldn’t have to beg for somebody to make something work with me. Hell, I had to ask him to communicate better with me. Him giving me apologies, nothing ever changed. I learned.

[bowenw]

You should never have to beg someone that is supposedly into you. It's all part of life experience and you will get over him. Next time you will better at spotting warning signs. Hopefully there won't be any.

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Because you need closure