I’m single have been for about 3 years. I date occasionally but haven’t slept with anyone in almost a year I’m really picky. I’ve been thinking about the first guy I was with. I was 19 and he was 35 when I lost my virginity. He came to nyc for work and I was infatuated with him and came to realize when I was older how that was unhealthy. He had feelings for me that were obvious and I got mixed signals on what we were at the time. He’s the one who started feeling bad and said we should stop seeing eachother about a year into sleeping together/casually dating. He thought the whole thing wasn’t fair to me and felt guilty. Now, I’m 25 and I never had a problem getting dates. 2 weeks ago I was feeling horny and I hit him up. I almost immediately regretted it for the fear of being rejected. He answered and we were reminiscing about how good the sex was that we had and texted for 2 hours. He told me that he may be here at the end of October and I would obviously like to see him again. I just feel weird that he’s the only guy I had to actually ask and he’s the only guy that’s broken something off with me. When I was younger he would say that he’d want to sleep with me till the end and I also always felt our sexual connection was so powerful it’s always mystified me. I asked if he was married joking and he told me he wasn’t single. I felt guilty about that for a moment but then I realized that’s his problem. Would it be bad if I had him on the side until I found something serious?