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I dont know if I'm happy?

Anonymous
I have a boyfriend called J, been dating over 2 months now. I'm not his type, he's into blondes w big tits. Im the opposite. Our relationship feels like friends with benefits sometimes, there's no cuddles or affection, just sex. The only time he really compliments me or says ily is late at night in deep conversations about sad stuff. When I'm with him and he's scrolling though Instagram all I see is literal pornstars. And I click on his following and I stalk a few people, and everytime I see a pretty girl and it says, liked by J; I get so depressed. It makes me want to dump him, but j know I'll regret it. Am I dramatic? Or just really insecure? I don't know what to do it just makes me hate life.
I dont know if I'm happy?
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