Does a player have feelings towards women he has sex with?

He puts a lot of feelings into making love, very much so. Do you think that's real or acting?
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Superb Opinion

  • "Player" is a label that can be put on people with a wide variety, just like other labels:
    e. g.: slut, womanizer, flirt, a lady's man, a man's man, heartbreaker, simp, pimp, etc, etc.

    It's next to impossible to generalize and say that everyone ever labeled as a player does or does not have feelings towards women he's having sex with, but as a person who has been labeled a player, as well as some of the other labels, I will speak for myself.

    The feelings I have toward any given woman varies with the woman herself. Each person I interact with is a relationship; not in the way you think of a "committed relationship", but rather an interaction between two people. That can be either very intimate, or very distant. For me, the ones I choose to have sex with are usually quite intimate, and even if they aren't, sex is a sort of tool for developing intimacy. You could say I have met women that I *wanted* to be closer to and have a more intimate relationship, and so I've used sex as a way to accelerate that development.

    At other times, I have had sex with women that I found attractive and was just curious if there could be a good chemistry between us. During some of these interactions, I found out that it wasn't a good match, but often if things were already headed toward sex, I continued along that path for the sake of pleasure and/or other reasons such as not causing hard feelings of rejection. Some examples of experiences:

    1. A woman who smoked, but didn't do it around me until after we had sex. I found the smell on her intolerable (even 30 minutes after she smoked), even more so when we were close (kissing distance).

    2. Women who start to become clingy, attached at the hip, or start to show some bad traits they were hiding before. Similar to the smoking girl, only with personality tendencies rather than physical addictions.

    3. Physical addictions, too. One girl I was actually quite deeply falling in love with, but she was in love with alcohol and other hard drugs to the point where it interfered with developing intimacy.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Depends on the guys honestly. I wouldn't call myself a player because to me a player says/does anything just so you'll have sex with him. So he's just a liar.

    I was always pretty upfront and open about my intentions. Several of the girls I've slept with I had feelings for them. I just didn't want to get into an exclusive relationship. And they agreed aswell.

    But I didn't have feelings for every single girl. Some was very much JUST sex. No feelings. We can still have a good time. Good conversation. I care for their wellbeing as a human so if they sincerely needed advice I would give it or needed some help.

    To me when you give that much of yourself to someone even if it's just sex, that what you're willing to do for them should go beyond a stranger or acquaintance. Like I've had old fuck buddies help me out in the past when I needed a ride after my car broke down 😂

    • Thanks for MHO 🙌

Most Helpful Girls

  • Having sex is not the same thing as making love. When a man is planning to have sex with a woman it’s about his needs being met and less of the woman. When a man is making love to a woman he finds pleasure in foreplay and making sure she is a roused before the next level happens. That’s why the “sneaky links” and women trying to be a player will never work in our favor. Most of the time when a guy wants to sleep with a woman he’s not emotionally invested in; the guy will get laid and the woman never had an orgasm in the moment.


    It’s impossible for a man to have feelings for women he have sex with if there wasn’t any emotional investment prior to the sex. The sex to the guy because the norm and a man has to be emotionally invested in a woman prior to the sex. Once they finally make love there his feelings for her will grow stronger. Keyword: Investment (relationship between the two).

    • He does make love with feelings but not sure if it's real

  • He may have feelings for some of the women he has sex with. Even players can catch feelings too. I would say with the vast majority of the women he sleeps with, he’s just playing with her and there are no feelings involved for him.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Depends if he cares enough. His intentions when he took her bed in the first place. If he developed feelings before or after. It's pretty hard to tell especially if he lies.

  • A player does not have feelings only likes playing thats why is considered a player

  • The player is ‘the player’ and actually made themselves this way! They have more feelings than the non player

    • What was that... more feelings?

    • You're an idiot

    • I guess if you look at it in a psychological sense it kind of goes together. If I’m understanding what you’re saying.

  • I think feelings and self expression is part of what makes sex good. The issue is thinking the feelings are long-lasting. Sex is an experience a bit like a semi-blank canvas to paint what you want on it. It's like a space in a parallel universe you can visit once in a while where you forget your daily troubles. That being said, it's not "reality" all of the time...

    A good policy is to not believe anything men say when they're horny af/ having sex with you. It might be true and it might also only be part of the theatrics of the sexual experience. It can even be hard for the person saying these things to know the difference until they're sober and think it through! But you'll be better off just letting it go after the moment is done.

    Only consider believing what a man says during or around sex if he also says it in other contexts when you're confident he's in a much more sober state of mind. Even then people can always lie, but at least it's a place to start.

  • They’re probably being fake.

  • He's acting

  • Like if he's there for the sex thats it mybe there's a bit more but many guys can sperate sex and feeling very well

  • No, he wouldn’t be a player if he did have feelings for the girls he sleeps with. I knew a player who didn’t give a f*** about any girl until his long term girlfriend came around, someone he actually cared about, and then he wanted to stop playing and settle down.

  • Just that satisfying feeling his dick, libido & ego gets.

  • Another woman who doesn't know what a player is.

  • Sex can complicate any relationship or non-relationship, even with a player type guy. You need more info for a better answer

    • 8 year on and off again relationship, problems because every time we get close emotionally, he runs but always comes back with distance at first, then happens all over again. We started out with his player talk, but he hasn't said those things since first year. People that know him say he's been a player for years. When we get together and get close I can tell there's feelings there for him but can't understand why he can't say it and he runs if that makes sense.

  • The key word behind the word "player" is "FAKE". That means everything towards her is FAKE on every level.

  • yes he has feelings. sexual feelings. No more no less.

    • I’ve heard that before, almost word for word that’s interesting. Lol

  • I don't know, I think they fake it, this guy I knew did all the right things to make me believe that he had genuine feelings for me, he was flirty, charming, very protective, listened actively and always tried to make me feel better and smile, after a while I caught feelings for him, admitted it to him, he kissed me, we slept together and then he just disappeared completely, hasn't spoken to me since it happened months ago, I've reached out a couple of times but Nada 🤷‍♀️

    • Yep, I’ve had the same experience. It’s crazy how people can literally fake their feelings like that.. or lead you to believe there will be soemthing.

    • @Lina Really? REALLY? People lie and manipulate to achieve their own ends ALL THE TIME. This is no different.

    • I understand that, but with my experience their energy wasn’t bad… I really felt like they had pure intentions. For me it wasn’t until the end when I felt their energy change and they were more cold towards me.

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  • If he had feelings he wouldn't be a player.

  • He has lust. The women are simply just tools to release his lust. They’re cum buckets and toys to play with. There is no feeling except for that.

    • Well said

  • Yes. Such a gentleman will experience the feeling of a sniz or anus gripping his turgid peen.

  • If he’s not treating you right, no sis

  • Does it occur to people that "players" typically miss 1 or more key elements in their upbringing typically. There's always something more to sex no matter what people say. Weather it's insecurity, loneliness, lack of self worth, need for touch and affection, it's never so simple as we try to make it out to be. that said it doesn't justify him using a girl. But there seem to be a more than a few girls these days who are fine with being used. I guess to each their own?

  • If he’s a player it’s probably acting but even players fall for a girl once in a while. But it’s rare.

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