Is it wrong to feel uncomfortable getting a massage from a gay guy?

I booked a massage, I said it didn’t matter if male or female. When I got there, there was a gay massage therapist there who acted stereotypically gay. I might have had to cancel if I got him, luckily, I didn’t.
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Superb Opinion

  • Massage therapists are professionals, just like anyone else. They are not going to touch you inappropriately or molest you or do anything differently than any of their clients. Your feelings aren't wrong, because feelings can't be wrong, it's how you feel, it just is what it is. But how we process those feelings is what matters.

    So you felt uncomfortable? Why? Were you worried he would molest you/touch you inappropriately? Are you worried he would find you attractive and hit on you? Are you worried he's weak so he couldn't give you a good massage?

    Figure out where the feeling is coming from and then work it out. Because the thought that a gay man would molest you but a straight woman wouldn't is a little bit of internalized homophobia. It's not your fault you feel that way, society gave you that, culture told you that lie. But it is a lie, so you need to work it out and work past it.

    So, let's say he finds you attractive and flirts with you. You say no, he backs off you both let it go and that's that. He doesn't back off, well that's inappropriate for any massage therapist regardless of gender and sexual orientation so you tell the manager, and don't go back to him. But the likelihood of that happening is minuscule. Again, media and culture give us this vision of what gay men are like that is unhinged from reality. Are there some gay men like that? Sure, probably, just like there are douche bag rapist straight men. It's the same kind of stereotype.

    What if he doesn't give you a good massage 'cause he's too weak? Well now you know that he, as a person, didn't give good massages, you can ask for a refund/partial, or someone else, problem solved.

    It's not wrong to feel that way, but it's important that you do the work to figure out WHY and then resolve it within yourself because it mostly stems from a place of stereotypes and homophobia that society has planted in your mind without you even knowing.

Most Helpful Girl

  • If you're uncomfortable then you're uncomfortable. I've done some massages before, there's not too much that would make me uncomfortable. Especially since the men seem to get erections on purpose But I usually just ignore them.

    • They massage therapist got an erection or were you the one doing the massages?

    • I was the masseuse. I'm not a licensed massage therapist but I've given massages

Most Helpful Guys

  • Not weird. I would feel funny with homosexual hands roaming around my body. Probably nothing improper would happen but I would be concerned about that the whole time I was getting the massage and that would defeat the purpose of the whole thing.

  • Is it wrong to feel uncomfortable getting a massage from a gay guy?

    Literally, this is how it all went down.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I have been in this situation. I was at a hotel spa and was assigned to a dude, that was very stereotypical. At first I said oh shit, But I have to say , it was one of the best massages I have had.
    He was professional, and think he knew the male body better than a woman. I ended up being very comfortable with the whole thing

  • It’s only wrong if your uncomfortable with it. If you are comfortable with it then why would it be wrong. He’s simply providing a service.

  • I hate massages so all feel uncomfortable.

  • no...

  • Well its not like he'd offer to blow you

  • Gay dudes are the most sexually aggressive humans on the planet. I feel you man

  • Of course not! Nobody like gay dudes except for gay dudes.