Sexual Relationships
+1 y

What do you think about women who refuse to have sex with their husbands unless they help out with their toddler?

0 1

Superb Opinion

  • When it gets this far the relationship is pretty dead.

    Unless he is doing 12 hour shifts etc and utterly knackered, then bit like any house work, any kid related stuff it’s a shared thing, not always 50% but a constantly moving %.

    i have a couple mates that don’t even know how to use a washing machine, one called me up to see if I could fix it, I drove down to his house (about an hour away) and clicked switch on, I had asked all this before I drove down.

    Anyhow back to this, if either party in a relationship needs to put down stuff like this, then the relationship is dead.

    I did my fair share of nappy changing, walking around the block at 2am when she could not sleep. Try coming home after a 3 day military exercise straight in to a child with the shits and helping with nappy changing.

    I have very little sympathy with guys complaining about doing stuff around the house. I grew up in a heavy industry area (shipbuilding, mining, steel works, heavy engineering etc) guys had long hard hours but still did stuff around the house.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Doing her Duty as a wife and a mother. A lot of you men who think that you're so entitled to sex in a marriage but don't want to do the work or the reasons why you're marriages are so measurable period if she's telling you she needs help with the workload, help her with the workload period she's telling you she needs her what the cooking, help her with the cooking. If you tells you to put garbage out for the night, take out the garbage for the night. If she needs help with your child, help her with your CHILD. It really is that simple gentleman you're only making your marriage more miserable. We are not your slaves. We're your wives. start treating your wife like one, and the nother of your children. She has every right to set the tone and what she expects in a marriage. If you're gonna be wanting sex, you gotta put into work also. While marriage is about sex, you got other things to do as well. It's not all fun and games. It requires work. So if you're gonna be married, do the work period, or stop complaining about not getting sex. She's putting the foot down and setting the boundaries. she knows her authority as a wife. Much respect. These are real women. and then when you men are upset at us, you wnat to know why. If she has to do this to you like a child then it shows that you have no respect For your wife period, we will not be taken these things so far if we had things set in the first place. Marriage requires work. So unless you want to lose your marriage, I suggest you do what you a questions or you're not getting any sex. What did you get married for? You take magical and be all just fun and games and sex and flooring around and that's it? I'm sorry to say that you must got married for the wrong reasons. Welcome to marriage.

    • You know the solution to this problem is actually quite easy and very clear. Suck up your pride, and help your wife. When your wife is stressed free and she feels at ease, she feels safe to know she married a red kind of person to bear your children with, then she will be more than willing to have sex with you. Especially when she loves you period she does what she does because she loves you period she loves her family and wants to make sure to her marriage and steal period You as a man need to make sure that her life as your wife is secured parent because of a woman is not secured, you're in trouble. And its how so MANY of you men end uo divorced and you want ti know WHY. Its right in front of you. Help your WIFE. Or expect to not have one.

    • The right kind of person* You know the reason why she's not having sex is not a mystery. She made it very clear why she's not doing it. And it's up to you to decide to either make sure She feels safe and secure enough to be desiring that with you, are you going to have a very troubled marriage that could have been avoided had you only just done what was asked of you. Marriage and having a family comes with expectations. If you expect sex, remember, you two are partners oh, and you're supposed to be life Partners. Which means you're going to have her for the rest of your living days as long as you two live. Till death do you apart that's what that means. So if you expect to receive sex from her, you first need to decide what the sex really mean to you? What assets mean to her? Is it just something you just do to keep the marriage, or is it truly intimacy? In order for you to have that intimacy you must build that intimacy. Why don't you stop complaining and start learning how to share that intimacy with your wife and your children. You decide to have kids then you need to learn to share that love with everybody that you have in your household. Make her feel safe. Make your child feel safe. That is your duty as the head of the household and as a leader, a provider, and the protector. Marriage is not easy. But as the man that is your role. She's already doing her job. Women who do this does not always like doing this. It hurts us as much as it's supposedly hurting you. Women only do this when we feel we're at our last straw. If you're that selfish then you're going to assume a little persons being selfish when all they are asking is for you to be a partner. A woman cannot do all this by herself.

    • Start being her partner oh, better yet. Start being her spouse. Learn how to be a husband to her and only then can she learn to be a better wife towards you. You are learning every single day how to love each other. You're getting to know each other as spouses every single day. Don't expect the other person to always remain the same. life and marriage is not all about that. It is about change but is good change. Or it can reveal a bad change. Be able to go to bed you're still married unless you commit adultery. But the moment you do that, already you end up in a divorce. You decide.

  • It doesn't matter if the guy works outside the home and the girl works inside the home or vice versa. Work is work! Both people need to care for THEIR children. A stay at home parent is working sometimes just as hard if not harder than the person who's working outside the home. The worst part is the person who's being the stay at home parent isn't getting cash for her or his time. But trust me that individual is saving the family cash Child Care is expensive and house cleaning services is even more expensive and can you imagine if the person never cooked that's even a higher bill If the family had to order food every day! so people need to get off their high horses and get their heads out of their asses and respect the people who stay home to raise children and maintain a home. If the individual doesn't want to do nothing physical at all for their child then no they shouldn't be having sex because sex leads to more children and if they can't take physical care of the ones they got they don't need to be making anymore or accidentally making anymore!

    • Well-said.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I would say she's a smart lady first of all. Second of all if the guy cannot see that his wife or girlfriend needs help with their child you shouldn't get any more sex anyway it's a 50/50 relationship when you're married or have a girlfriend no matter what happens it's 50/50 and when you have a child you better step it up because otherwise no sex for you okay that's the first thing
    If she has to go that far because the guy cannot see as his self-centered self then she should also say you're not only going to help me with the toddler you're going to help me with the house and when I do give you sex you're going to make it all about me because I'm tired have you climbing on top of me fucking me for 2 minutes and then going to sleep you going to put a little bit more time and effort into it and make it about me not yourself it's pretty sad if this is the point that it comes down to just because lady carries that baby for nine months 9 months 9 hard months did I say nine months it doesn't mean that it's all her baby it means that she carried it for 9 months just think if there was a new law the wife carries the baby for nine months the husband takes care of the baby for the first nine months and the second nine months and then the wife we'll take care of it again for 9 months and then the male 9 months it's called a relationship is 50/50 the child is called your child when that child need something one of you better be there because now it's 75. 75

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

If women don’t enjoy penetration then why do they like sex?
What makes someone of opposite sex good in bed for you?
Is getting a circumcision the right answer in my case?
What is the safest way to dispose a used condom that was not your husband?

What Girls & Guys Said

14 17

  • I don't have many thoughts about them, but I have a lot of thoughts about a man who refuses to help out with his toddler unless his wife refuses sex. That's not her child, it's both of their child, she shouldn't need to bribe him into taking care of it. Men aren't just husbands with wives that are mothers, they also have to be a father. Mostly I feel bad for that woman that feels she needs to do that. Unless, when they had the child, the husband made very clear that he wasn't going to be much help and didn't necessarily want it. But that's... problematic in it's own way. At some point it's not even about your responsibility as a father, it's do you even love your child.

    Not saying that any of this is you, and not calling you out, just stating my thoughts in general about the situation.

  • What do you mean "help out"? The dad isn't a babysitter who helps out sometimes... He's the father of the toddler and 50% of the toddler's DNA is his. He needs to put in 50% of the work to raise the toddler. And not to get sex from his wife in return, but because the man decided to have children and is his duty to raise them without expecting anything in return. If you'd only take care of your kid in return for sex, please don't have kids.

  • So you don't help out taking care of your child?
    Or what?
    What do you do?

    How is life at home? Do you both work? Who takes care of the house?

    • He works. She takes care of the house and the child.

    • Ans when he gets home from work, what happens then? And in the weekends?

  • A Good Wife

  • I think that the couple involved needs some marriage counseling

  • It kind of depends what the breakdown of labour is like in their household.

    If the husband is the sole breadwinner, then I don't think that's fair. But if they both work, and he'd refusing to take some responsibility for childcare, then I could understand why a woman might do this.

    That said, I'm going to assume she attempted to communicate with him prior to this and he didn't respond to her requests. This sound like a 'last resort' tactic. Or it should be anyway.

    Though to be perfectly honest, if I was married to someone who was so recalcitrant to contribute to the partnership that I had to use sex as a chess piece... I would wonder if we should be married at all.

  • Someones an embarrassment to men.

  • Seems weird. I've never expected my husband to watch our kids and or rewarded him with sex when he does watch them.

    • you don't expect your husband to take care of his kids?

    • @kqueen not really I'm a stay at home mom so that is my job to watch the kids. His job is extremely demanding, usually 12+ hours on a normal day so I never make him care for the kids unless he wants too

    • that would seem to be kind of an extreme case though

  • I think that a women has the right to do what they want with thier bodies period. However the thought that it would get to that or that somehow this is a viable way to correct a negative behavior seems ridiculous. I would hope that we are more evolved than than resorting to a sex for favor exchange. Other than it being a mutual way to find more reasons to have sex that I don't get it sounds crazy but as a legitimate method probably not a good indication of a healthy relationship but to each there own.

  • Hmm, let me see in a woman’s pov.
    Being housewife is a tough job. It’s 24/7 work you’re not paid for. If you have a child, add that work then multiply it with number of children.
    If she is working, it’s wayy worse if there is no split duties. If she is expected to do the chores while working, can you imagine her workload?
    I think, it’s reasonable to not refuse to share the burden together and split the chores

  • I think the relationship is in serious trouble. She's on her way out of things don't change. What kind of father refuses to care for his child?

  • It will lead to bitterness and resentment to play games with sex and to withhold it as punishment.
    It will cause a crack in their bond that could lead to a divorce down the road if they aren't careful.

  • I mean fair enough. You can't expect to just have the good parts of a relationship without the hard work especially with having a kid.

  • Petty.
    Poor kid, being used as a weapon by one spouse against the other.

  • Well, if she’s busy taking care of a kid, you’ll just have to wait until she has the time and energy for you. Or maybe you could help her out a little….

  • That really sounds kinda dumb! I mean who doesn’t want to have sex?

  • This is hard to answer. Keeping a positive attitude here I don't think a woman has to say yes to sex all the time because of a number a reasons regardless of situation. But I'm not sure if your question gives us enough context.

    Is the husband refusing to help the child 100% of the time? Tell us more?

    Ultimately a man should want to help his wife raise their kid so I'm not being sarcastic with this. My concern is any spouse man or woman using sex as a bargaining tool. I think that might (key word might not always) be a form of manipulation.

  • Sex shouldn't be leverage, but she has a point. He works and she takes care of the kid, yes, but shouldn't she get a break, too. Children are a lot of time and effort. I see her side, too.

  • If your in a relationship and your partner is you it as a tool to get you to help out, you need to look in the mirror because your the problem. You should be helping more and she wouldn't feel lime she has to be that way with you. It might even make her more attracted to you and want to be with you

  • Sex should never be used as leverage

  • Show More (11)

Latest Questions

Sexually frustrated, am I in the wrong?
I caught my girlfriend reading erotica on her ipad -- should I be concerned?
How to stop feeling self conscious about my butt?
Girls- Do you like to swallow a guys cum or is it nasty?
Home >  Sexual Relationships  > What do you think about women who refuse to have sex with their husbands unless they help out with their toddler?