Would you consider this a red flag?

Question

My boyfriend has really sexist views. He talks about women as if they’re beneath men. He doesn’t give oral because he says he’s the man in the relationship and since that’s the case that means he’s the one doing all the work in the bedroom and without a penis sex can’t happen and sums all that up to say he deserves oral for that reason but women don’t because of that and also because more “stuff” comes out of us “down there.” Than what comes out of a mans penis. Also when he says something that I don’t particularly agree with, he’ll say “I obviously need an opinion from a grown woman, you act like a child or act as if you’re always against me and never on my side.” All because I have a slightly different view for him and there has been incidents where he did go to his mother to get a second opinion and she would side with me and he’ll say something like “I don’t know what’s wrong with women. You guys don’t see things the way us men do I suppose.” Also, one time while we were on public transportation, riding back from the downtown area in our city, since my birthday was coming up a few weeks (during that particular time) I mentioned that we should go to a bar for my birthday since I never go out In that way because I don’t really drink but I figured why not since it’s my birthday. There were others on public transportation with us and he got loud with me and embarrassed/belittled me by saying “Why the fuck would you want to go to a bar? You don’t even drink. You make me want to be with someone else. That’s something that hoes do. I’m not taking my girl to a bar.” And when I tried to get a word out he told me to shut the f*** up and seconds after that our stop came and he yelled at me to come on. I was too embarrassed to even move.

ohshee · Accepted Answer

It's more than a red flag that's a foot up his ass and kick him off that bus I wish you would have got up and you would have kept going I can tell you right now you are a fun beautiful girl that tries to please and all he does is manipulate you're going to find out that he's a fucking bully and he's an asshole the longer you stay with him the worst is going to get I don't even know you but I would date you in a heartbeat just because I can see and feel you are just through your words that guy doesn't deserve you that guy doesn't deserve an ant with three legs if I was you I would not give him no more oral. Wait I take that back if I was you I would believe I would walk away fast the guy's a dick I'm sorry that I caused the boyfriend of dick butt you know as well as I do. And I hope you find the confidence to walk away I really do

imjustadude · Accepted Answer

I saw too many red flags to count. Get out of that relationship. I hope you can do so safely. He sounds like he will be physically abusive if he isn't already.

Idkanything55528 · Accepted Answer

If this isn't the kind of relationship you want, leave him. There is no right or wrong way to have a relationship (unless its illegal.)

If you are not happy, if you want to be an EQUAL, then he is not the one for you. You can try setting boundaries, setting rules, telling him you want to be treated equally, but that's clearly not his thing & never will be.

It is up to YOU how YOU want to be treated. If he isn't treating you the way yo uwant to be treated, fine somebody that will. Not many people I know want to be treated like a lesser.. it really hurts being with somebody like that. Never feeling good enough.. you deserve better.

Little_Bumblebee · Accepted Answer

So happy the others are also saying this.

Those are some serious red flags.
Get away while you still can, it will only get worse and you might end up getting physically abused as well as mentally.

If he doesn't validate you, your opinions, and your pleasure, that in itself is a big no and you should get away.

Love yourself enough to get away.

kqueen · Answer

There's so many red flags here it reads like a troll wrote it. If you're not a troll, yes your boyfriend is a horrible boyfriend and a horrible person in general. I don't know why you're with him still

erandal · Answer

I would drop him like a lot potato. Sounds like a complete douche.

Alyssa11 · Answer

Yeah absolutely

DonkeyDan · Answer

I only got half way through reading your question and already it sounds like a parade of red flag waving.

Dargil · Answer

Yes, I do.

anon1903 · Answer

What a douche bag! Are you serious when you say you're doubtful about the red flags? Cause each sentence has rhem!

exitseven · Answer

sounds like a real prize.

Hangry06 · Answer

Sounds like verbal abuse. Why you with a caveman?

rcljr · Answer

Damn, you hooked up with a sexist, misogynistic, future rapist and serial killer, you better run far and fast from that fkn loser.

Pumpkinspice009 · Answer

Lol what are men? If you’ve never had lesbian sex then you must try it especially the tribbing part, you might start losing interest in men too. Girls eating each other out, feels extra Better than men doing it. Just try it.

Zebadee88 · Answer

Why are you wasting time with him?

jenna15 · Answer

he is abusive

pink_and_inlove · Answer

Definitely he sucks

Yourfriend2021 · Answer

This guy sounds like a real jerk and isn't treating you right and you can see that.

okeydoke · Answer

That’s enough red flags for a Chinese military parade.  He’s an emotionally abusive and sexist prick. Get out and never look back.

Wiredone · Answer

Uhhh yeahhh. There are so many red flags in that paragraph. Why are you still with him. I have a feeling that one day you will be his human punching bag. Get out while the getting is good. You deserve so much better

lovedejj_xo · Answer

Throw that boy in the trash because he is not a man. I stopped once I read he doesn’t give oral bye.

Morgador · Answer

Ok I couldn't even get through the fist paragraph because I was irritated. YES THIS IS A HUGE RED FLAG AND YOU NEED TO MOVE ON NOW!  This guy is a fucking pig