Do you think losing your virginity early is attractive or something to flex?

[nocturnalbaby]

I personally don’t think it’s attractive or anything to flex or show off if you lost your virginity really early, especially as a girl, I don’t think it sounds attractive to a guy to hear that a girl had her first sexual experience at 13 or 14. It just sounds kinda slutty. I mean only horny older creepy guys would find it sexy to hear about that, but I’m sure it wouldn’t be attractive to a future partner to hear that. It sounds more attractive to say you lost it later & waited till you got a proper boyfriend doesn’t it?

I have a friend who’s really slutty & says she’s embarrassed about it, yet keeps going back to being a slut after every time she tells me she’ll stop sleeping with guys on the first date etc. A few weeks ago we were talking about our sex lives & she said to me ‘I can’t believe you only just had sex at 21, I’ve been fucking since I was 14’ & I thought does she really think she’s more superior than me cause she had sex at 14?

[ohshee]

For me the first time I had sex when I was 15 and a half almost 16 the only person that knew that I had sex was the person that I had sex with because there's nobody else's business the next time I had sex was with an older woman for over a year I was having sex with it 48. 49 year old woman. And at that time the only two people that knew about it was her and myself after one year she decided to get back with her husband which I didn't know that she was married but she introduced me to another lady and for just about a year I had sex with her she was like 35. 37
And I figured the only two people that knew about it was for a night but I'm sure my first friend did too because that was her friend too and I think they probably talked about it.
Every day I would hear about my friends getting laid and do they got laid from and I always just kept it to myself to this day I do the same thing because it's nobody else's business who I'm having sex with and I'm not going to brag about the girl or make her look or feel like she's doing something dirty or enable people to give her a title of some sort just because whatever reasons the other girls do that to other girls and the boys do that Tuesday at the brat on who they fucked and I think it's just totally wrong

[ChrisMaster69]

There is nothing to be shamed about losing it early, as everyone is different and the reasons may be complex.

Equally shaming someone who is a virgin is also wrong.

A person could be friends with someone for a year, get really close, become best friend, get on great do loads of stuff together. Then when one says she lost her virginity and 14, she is suddenly bad? It’s the same person, nothing has changed, suddenly though she’s now not a nice person, a slut etc..

However if she had Lied and said no still a virgin, then she would be okay.

in one situation a person tells the truth and loses a friend.

in the other they lie but keep a friend…

[nocturnalbaby]

yeah, I wasn't saying she should be ashamed of it either, but I was just discussing that I thought most of society usually thinks it's usually more respectable to have lost it later, so I was just wandering where she got the idea that the comment she made to me was meant to make her more superior to me in any way. well yeah virgin shaming is wrong, but I'm not a virgin & she wasn't virgin shaming me. I just lost my v's later Yeah no I get that, I'm not saying having sex early makes you a bad person. I don't have a problem with it as long as the person is compatible with me and is a good friend of mine. I'm not shaming her or saying she's bad for having lost it early. She's still my friend and I enjoy talking to her, but I'm just wandering why she made that comment to me about having lost it later & whether I'm supposed to feel inferior for it. and no, I'm not at all saying that if she lied, it would have been better. This is a bit of a topic change from my initial question.

[NicoletteXO]

I think a person who has a healthy sex life is attractive.

Sounds like your friend is a bit indiscriminate with her sex life, which is nothing to flex.

Though I think virtue signaling that you "waited" is nothing to flex either.

[nocturnalbaby]

yeah I think someone with a healthy sex life is attractive too, but that's not really what I was discussing. Having started early or later doesn't really define how sexual someone is to me. You can be sexual regardless of how young or old you start sexually experimenting, that's a totally different topic. I think you're misunderstanding what I said too much & ignorantly trying to attack me by putting the focus on the part where you think I think I'm holier or better than her cause I 'waited'. First of all, I never said that I think I'm holier than her or want credit for having lost it later. I didn't even wait, I just didn't get a chance to do it till later. I wouldn't have had anything negative to say about her losing her virginity early, I only just started having things to say about it once she kinda made me feel low for having lost it later, cause she ignorantly made that comment without understanding why I even lost it late, making it look like she thinks she's more superior, & I wasn't trying to compete by saying I'm more superior, but I was just trying to discuss why she would've thought of that as a way to try to put me down because I thought society generally sees it as a bit more attractive if a girl didn't start getting sexually active that early.

[NicoletteXO]

So... it's pretty clear that you do not think losing one's virginity early is something to flex. You already know your position on this. So why do you post your question here? Because you want validation. You want people to say "OMG she is sooo wrrraaaang. You are so totally right girl! Don't let her bring you down. You are awesome BAE!". You want to be seen in a more positive light, and you want her to be seen as wrong.

[nocturnalbaby]

I've gotta say the way you're commenting is extremely immature for your age. I posted the question to figure out why she might think she's better than me, when neither of us are better. Not trying to get validation here. Posting questions is a way to gain clarity & see what other people may think or have to add to expand on my thoughts. Not a way to get validation. If I wanted validation I would probably just discuss it with her & not from people on here. It's not for validation. It looks like for some reason you've just randomly chosen to take her side & ignore her initial comment towards me & just make this about me. You're clearly being immature by constantly mentioning that & claiming what you think I want people to say. You have no right to just make up things you think I want to hear without even knowing what I want to hear. None of that immature stuff you claim I want to hear even came to my mind.

[NicoletteXO]

I think you are immature because you lack self insight. You don't seriously expect me to believe you posted this in order to understand why your friend said what she said. You never even asked that question. You asked if you think losing your virginity early is attractive or something to flex. Then you proceeded to describe the situation with your friend, in a light that was very unflattering to her. You clearly wanted to hear the answer "no I don't think losing your virginity early is something to flex". And you wanted affirmation that you are fine, and she was wrong. You don't want deep insight as to what motivated her behaviour. You didn't ask about that.

[NicoletteXO]

" I posted the question to figure out why she might think she's better than me, when neither of us are better. Not trying to get validation here. " So then why do you describe her as 'slutty' and a 'slut'? Doesn't sound like someone who is innocently and naively "just trying to figure out why my fwend finks she's better than me? 🥺". If your motives were so pure, you wouldn't be putting down your "friend". "Posting questions is a way to gain clarity & see what other people may think or have to add to expand on my thoughts. Not a way to get validation. If I wanted validation I would probably just discuss it with her & not from people on here. It's not for validation." Hardly. You already know that your interaction with her will result in you feeling "lesser than" - because (unfortunately) her prerogative is to try to shame you. (Doesn't sound like a healthy friendship to me at all, but that's a side point)... so to claim that if you wanted validation you'd go to her is preposterous. If you wanted validation, you'd do exactly what you did do... couch your "friend" as a nasty and slutty person, and ask if she is justified in her opinions? Of course, let's face it, you know the vast majority of people are going to say "Noooo of course she isn't!"... which means you will feel validated. This is why I can see you posted for validation.

[Sarahr123]

Nope it isn’t. People call them a whore if they do. Even for boys it seems like they have no standards and will fuck anything that moves. Losing it late shows they’re picky and that is very attractive.

[Shortman70]

I don't know if it would be either. I lost mine pretty early to an older woman. I used the things that she taught me and I'm greatful for the lessons. As I've gotten older, I've realized that what we did was not appropriate at all. She still could've taught me at 18 or even 16, I would've been more mature.

[InventorofWarp]

Don't let that get to you. Every guy I know does the same thing and then it's funny how they can't talk to women or hold down an actual relationship for more than a few months to a year without cheating or otherwise just having the relationship fall apart.

I'm 24 and still waiting for the right girl. 25 soon. It's not a big deal when someone has sex. What's more important is what they do with their life and how they treat people. If you only focus on sex you're never going to be satisfied.

Having said that, I'm interested in a girl who lost hers in her teens and she's been with a few guys. But she was lonely like me when she was young and didn't know how to properly deal with it. Better to just not judge anyone about things so trivial and just try and get to know them, empathize with them and eventually try and make their life better and help them instead.

[BossThe2nd]

Frankly, I much prefer sexual women to those who aren't sexual.
I think valuing sexual exclusivity is a cope and it makes a person look insecure to me.
I also believe the only people who really value that sort of thing are equally insecure.

But to each their own.

[nocturnalbaby]

interesting opinion, but very different to mine

[nocturnalbaby]

but I don't believe or agree that a girl who lost her virginity late isn't sexual. some girls might not have had the chance, some girls might not have found someone that they're attracted to etc. I mean a girl can be sexual but still lose it at a later age. for example, I'm actually quite a sexual person, & I sometimes do wish I had tried having sex earlier, but I didn't have the opportunity to. I went to an all girls school my whole life & didn't get the chance to meet any guy until I was in university, hence why I lost my v's at 21. but I still consider myself quite horny & sexual, just not slutty enough to be sexual with any guy. I just care about doing it with a guy I feel comfortable with.

[BossThe2nd]

"slutty enough to be sexual with any guy." On your other post you have claimed to have sucked off the cousin of your fuck buddy right after having sex with him. That's more than enough slutty even for me. Just find it curious that you are here now espousing a totally different narrative.

[nocturnalbaby]

yeah okay like I have done slutty things, but I very quickly regretted it and I have changed a lot since that experience & my views on sex have changed as well. That day I sucked my fuckbuddy's cousin off happened really unexpectedly. It's already been a year and a half, and things have changed a lot since then. I wasn't even planning for it to happen, he just walked me out to the carpark and we were talking and one thing just lead to another, and also cause my fuckbuddy was treating me badly & nagging me to bring my friends for threesomes which was really annoying me, I kinda just did it to even things out and do things with the cousin. When I said I'm not slutty enough to do it with just any guy, I meant I wouldn't just sleep with a guy too quickly upon meeting them. I like to wait a bit & chat to him a few times before seeing him just so I can tell how his personality might be. Whereas my friend for example just meets up with guys & sleeps with them after only an hour or less of texting online, or just after seeing a picture of his dick. So that's what I meant by I'm not slutty enough to just do it with any guy, I have a few rules & I like to make sure the guy is at least nice to me & things like that. It was a bit different to the experience with the fuckbuddy's cousin, cause since he was related to the fuckbuddy, he didn't feel like a complete stranger to me, and I was comfortable with him. But I learned after that experience that I'm not as slutty as I imagined myself to be & that the things I tried were out of character for me. Sometimes you have to experience things to learn about yourself & find out what is & isn't in your comfort zone.

[NicoletteXO]

BossThe2nd I totally agree with you, in almost all cases.

[nocturnalbaby]

@NicoletteXO I’m not sure why you’re suddenly deciding to hate on me, I was judged first by my friend because she was trying to make me look inferior by saying I lost my virginity later than her, which is why I posed my opinion, I wouldn’t have had anything to say about her otherwise. It’s just cause she said something first so it made me wander why I should be considered Inferior, but I’m not like actually trying to get people to tell me I’m superior.

[NicoletteXO]

Nobody's hating on you. To be perfectly honest, even though I lost my virginity way earlier than you, it sounds like (from the behaviour above) you are way more "slutty" in terms of willingness to engage in fairly indiscriminate sex, than I am. So I am just observing a schism in your psychology - on the one hand, you seem to want to be validated here for being more 'virtuous' than your friend. On the other, your behaviour seems pretty slutty to me, so not sure why you want to rag on sexual women, since you are one. That's not hate. That's an observation based on what you've expressed. By the way, I am like BossThe2nd - I like a woman who can own her sexuality. So I have no problem that you do sexual things as described above. By all means, enjoy. But don't pretend to be all holier than thou.

[nocturnalbaby]

@NicoletteXO alright whether you're hating or not, you have definitely greatly misunderstood a lot of what I wrote & ignorantly twisted & changed the topic. You replied to this comment & another person's reply writing things like 'she just wants you to say so & so to feel superior than her friend for waiting' which was a really ignorant comment considering that's not even true. When I talked about losing your virginity later being more respected, it was more about what I believe the majority of society thinks about it, and not specifically that only I think that. BossThe2nd's comment was almost a whole different conversation topic & I just started going along with it since that conversation started. But my question had nothing to do with talking about how sexual someone is. I never said anything about being sexual or someone's level of sexuality. To me that's a totally different topic, & to me, the age you lose your virginity isn't related to how sexual you are. I am sexual myself & just didn't get a chance to do things till later in life, & I just had a few bad experiences & now am taking a break from being sexual & just don't think I want to do the slutty things that I did previously. But I'm still not against sexual girls. I know I am sexual myself and I also support sexual women, but you're ignoring the fact that she actually put me down first, which is why I started saying slightly negative things about her. You just went straight for my comments and ignored her initial comment towards me. I am not at all trying to get validated for having lost it till later. Way too much misunderstanding.

[NicoletteXO]

I think you are misunderstanding. When BossThe2nd said "I much prefer sexual women to those who aren't sexual."... I don't believe he was talking about being a sexual person in general (which obviously one can be whether one is a virgin or not, no argument there)... he was saying he prefers women who are sexually active than those who aren't.

[NicoletteXO]

And you do want validation. It's demonstrated by the fact that you've asked a question here, but you take issue with anyone who doesn't provide an answer along the lines of "OMG that chick was so wrong and a total bish"... which is the answer you want them to provide, because it gives you validation.

[nocturnalbaby]

@NicoletteXO well okay, but even that as well is a totally different topic to what I initially asked. I didn't even ask anything about being the topic of whether guys prefer a girl who is sexual or not sexual. I was asking to try to understand why my friend thought I was inferior to her for losing my v's later, so I wanted to see whether there were many guys who thought it was attractive to try & understand where my friend was coming from when she was trying to put me down for losing it later. nope, here you go again with the 'all she wants to hear is guys saying omg she's wrong & you're right & she's a bitch' bla bla bla. Stop. you really need to stop with that nonsense. I'm not as immature as you sound & I am not looking for validation by posting this, but clarification. Considering that you're the only person here that has been trying to claim that there are certain immature comments that I 'wish' to hear from guys, it looks like you're just here to be immature & cause some drama. If it were really true or evident that I posted this for validation, I'm sure at least one other person would've said so, but it's just you. I am not immature enough to actually WANT someone to reply to this saying my friend is a bitch and she's wrong. She's still my friend & I'm not looking for people to insult her.

[Shizunk]

People have to justify their bad habits, so they like to paint it as if it's good. Once you are too deep in it, admitting it was a mistake would be too painful. In my humble opinion 21 is an optimal age. And unless it was clearly involuntary, which for a woman is fairly unlikely, I would see delaying the first sex as good discipline and ability to take life seriously. Doing it as soon as possible to me means surrendering to whims and urges and 0 self control. That is a definite turn off and I wouldn't trust women like that to stay faithful.

[Bobsyoruncle]

WAY better early than late.

[apokolips]

Men and women are different. We don't play by the same rules. You are correct. If a girl flexes on that, it's unattractive for most men. But if it was a guy that lost his virginity at 14, it's not a big deal for women.

[nocturnalbaby]

yeah that's what I thought, maybe my friend just has a different idea about all that & she just thinks it's cool that she lost hers early

[DonkeyDan]

I'm not particularly proud of the way or age I lost my virginity and don't talk about it unless asked, even then sometimes in vague about it.

[20yearsolder]

I don't think it's attractive at all, I think you should lose your virginity when you are comfortable doing so. I've read on here where girls just want to get it over with. I totally disagree. If you're going to lose your virginity, do it with someone you care about

[nocturnalbaby]

I definitely agree. It’s not at all worth it to do it just to get it over with. It’s not something to just get it over with, but most girls don’t understand or believe that until they have a first time that they regret later.

[20yearsolder]

I couldn't agree more, anytime I see them comment like that, I beg them to wait

[20yearsolder]

It needs to be something that you look back on fondly, not that I did it behind the 7-Eleven in the backseat of 87 Honda Civic with pimple face Larry Jenkins just to get it over with. It hurt, I had no pleasure, no emotional connection

[nocturnalbaby]

very true, it's something girls really need to be careful about.

[CinemaMack716]

Nobody's business but your own. It's not unattractive and not a flex. Just a life experience.

[HighValue]

So guys that are older are automatically creepy?

And what, young guys don't like sluts? Then why do so many college age ones sleep around with the slutty women?

You don't even know what you are talking about.

And your friend that slept around and had a kid shouldn't ever expect a good quality man to ever be interested in her. She ruined her chances with her behavior.

[DonRollins]

Bragging about your sexual activity to anyone besides who you were dating as an atttempt to tell them you could pleasure them well, is meaninginless, and stupid and unnattractive. When I was younger I had many girlfriends yes that were having sex when they were 14 15 16 17 18 but it wasn't something we bragged about to other.

If you care that much about what others think you are weak in your self esteem.

[billmunch]

I was 30 when I lost my virginity to somebody who lost hers at 14. She was shocked that anybody could be a virgin at 30. She was it was pathetic but she said she liked the idea of taking my virginity because I was the first virgin she had been with since high school.

[itsnate497]

I do not find that attractive at all. Maybe I'm "old-fashioned" or whatever, but I believe in waiting until marriage to be intimate with your partner. I think someone bragging that they lost their v-card in their early teens is a red flag, not a plus. You also shouldn't feel bad at all for waiting; on the contrary, I find that as a sign of a high-quality person, and therefore attractive.

[exitseven]

Today it is not considered a bad thing to have had multiple partners while still a teenager. Girls as well as guys. I guess my opinion is that if you are in a loving relationship with somebody then sex is appropriate. Lots of people will disagree with me but it is not like shaking hands.

[Phoenix98]

Lol no.

[elizamichale1]

U r right

[Hangry06]

It's pathetic to use sex to flex be it losing virginity early or late

[nocturnalbaby]

fair opinion. sex is just a personal & private experience & shouldn't even be something to flex

[Danny_dan92]

It just means you were and maybe are desirable

[Jaysonava]

I think iit is good to lose your virginity early because it breaks down a barrier between yourself and other people.

[poneglyphs]

I don't know, I'm still a virgin myself. I don't think it's a flex or anything, just that they got lucky.