Is getting laid just luck?

Question

I lost my virginity at 23, I've only had sex with two girls. I haven’t had sex in six months I feel like I just lucked out and I still don’t know how to attract women.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Luck is a factor, good looks are a factor, and confidence is a factor. That aside, if you think about the guys who always have a girl, or who seem to get girls easily even though they're not especially good-looking, the main reason for their success is simply NUMBERS. Let's say that, on average, your looks, confidence, and social skills give you a 2% chance of getting a date with a girl. That means you have to approach 50 girls (on average) before you can be relatively confident that you'll get a "yes."

Most guys ask out somewhere between 0-5 girls a year. Well, even if you're at the high end of that at 5, with a 2% success rate, it could take you 10 years before you get a date. But those guys who seem to be so good at getting girls? Those guys ask out 10 girls a week. Which means even at 2% success rate, they'll have a date within 5 weeks. But, in reality, because they have so much experience at approaching and talking to girls - EVEN THOUGH they get shot down CONSTANTLY - they also learn from their experiences over time and they probably have a 5% success rate. That means they only need to ask out 20 girls to get a "yes" - and if they're asking 10 girls a week, that means they'll have a date inside of 2 weeks.

You don't see the dozens of times they get rejected - you just see them with a girl all the time, but if you were to follow them around, you'd see that they are constantly approaching and are usually getting rejected, but they figured out long ago that the rejections don't matter- all that matters is that many approaches means a much quicker time to a "yes" answer.

Obviously I'm only talking about getting a date here - you shouldn't assume that a date = getting laid on a 1:1 ratio, but getting a date is certainly a start.

The other thing you need to realize is that most girls don't want casual sex, and that the guys who get laid the most - by FAR - are the guys who are in a relationship. The more willing you are to commit to a relationship with a girl, the more likely you are to get laid - and then get laid a whole lot more. When it comes to casual sex, girls tend to only choose the hottest guys or the guys that are the closest to "their type", whatever that is for her. So, if you aren't her type, aren't conventionally VERY good-looking, aren't wealthy, and if you lack AMAZING charisma and social skills, then getting casual sex, especially same-night casual sex, means either exploiting drunk girls (which is effectively illegal), setting your standards VERY low, or hoping to luck into a rare unicorn who is looking for casual sex herself. You REALLY need luck on your side for that one.

Getting laid is certainly achievable - if *I* can get laid, almost any guy can - but you have to play the game and you have to have something out-of-the-ordinary to offer, and you STILL need to ask a lot of girls and face a lot of rejection before you're going to get a "yes", so you have to put in some serious work to make it happen quickly. That's exactly what those "good with girls" guys do - they put in the work, and they reap the rewards.

ChrisMaster69 · Accepted Answer

The biggest things to getting a partner etc, is socialising (especially in areas where your preference also socialises), gaining confidence, not taking it to heart when you crash and burn, it’s not your fault or the other persons, this stuff just happens.

The other big one is to be relaxed, just chill out when near girls, don’t stare, for every look you think you have given them, you have likely looked at least twice, this then starts to come off as creepy.

if you see a regular at a bar, coffee shop, just say hello but that’s all, take it slow.

girls in groups are easier to chat to, a girl alone is not really going to like attention.

show respect, be confident, be natural with talking and humour,

CrazyGirl2 · Accepted Answer

I’ve already told you what to do to solve this!
No its not just luck… but it CAN be. I mean if you are incredibly good looking, I suppose it’s easier! Look, have you ever had a girlfriend, and suddenly notice that women everywhere seem to be MUCH nicer to you? Ever feel like damn. How come every time I have a girlfriend it seems like suddenly the girls are interested in me? Thats because we can smell desperation, and it wreaks! But a confident guy who isn’t staring at me like a starving man looks at a juicy steak? That’s because when you are dating someone, you aren’t trying to get laid! When you stop trying, it will get a lot easier to get laid! Women prefer confident men, we especially prefer guys who already have a girlfriend because if SOMEONE wants you , maybe there is something to you that I can’t see!

loves2learn · Accepted Answer

Some of it is right time/right place. It’s not really a matter of attracting girls but finding people you connect with.

Bobsyoruncle · Answer

Meeting, and talking to women, in person, and dating them, is where the action is.

Stay focussed and keep playing the game, no matter what the outcome of your last attempt was, never give up.

Getting laid has nothing to do with ‘luck’. Like almost every human pursuit it’s just a numbers game.

When I was a young tomcat the ‘numbers’ (if you had an average amount of ‘game’ in you) were:

10 - 3 -1

Go on ten dates. swinging for the fence on all of them.

Expect to at least get ‘on base’ with three of them.

And expect to score a ‘Home Run’ with one of them.

Now, that was more than half a century ago, the percentages may be a little different these days.

Likely they’ve improved for you.

Ellie-V · Answer

Why is sex a priority

Tiptoetamm · Answer

Confidence my friend will help you

Browneye57 · Answer

You keep asking the same question on this, over and over. Have you done the work? Have you read Rollo's blog? Have you done your man-makeover?
I've sent you the links, explained what it takes, but it seems you haven't followed through, and still whining about the mystery of women.
I will tell you that women can sense desperation from a mile away. So you need to put this shit right out of your mind, and do what it takes to be a catch. You'll be beating them off with a stick, I promise.
And no, it's not luck. It's doing and being what women want. And it just so happens that all the shit they want makes you a better person, a REAL MAN.

And never forget, YOU ARE THE CATCH! So start acting like it.

DaveToo · Answer

Obviously, you're not the Hunchback of Notre Dame and are attractive enough that two girls had sex with you. Stop feeling inadequate and just approach the ones that you're attracted to and make friends.

Anonymous · Answer

, angers and pisses me off of a discussion about this and what the other guy said, just a reminder of how I have sometimes hated being born male over the years since men have to work harder to get laid than women do

Is getting laid just luck?

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