Am I right to be bothered by this?

[Anonymous]

After a pregnancy scare my boyfriend is so weird during sex. He keeps pulling out even tho I’m on the mini pill. He will always mention pregnant. And pulls out non stop during sex to pace and not cum inside me. It’s a complete buzz kill for me. Sex used to be care free and so much fun and he’s making it like that. He wouldn’t do that with anyone else either and hasn’t in the past just me.

How can he possibly be enjoying it if that’s on his mind?

Am I right to be bothered? It should be care free and fun. Not like this.
He wants it less and acts less sexual too and I know he is masterbating more. He is enjoying that mroe to isn’t he?

[CharlieBadger]

I would recommend making an appointment at planned parenthood or a similar clinic, or with the doctor that prescribed the pill and let them talk to him about odds and best practices while not killing the mood. He might need an added form of contraception to put him at ease, someone else mentioned condoms, that might be what it takes. Or he may need to track your most fertile time and use the condoms during that time.

If that doesn't work he may need some counseling to get over his fear. Or a little mind altering substance to calm him down.

So, yeah you are right to be bothered by it but I think there are some things that could help him get over this.

[boggboss]

Yes u should be botherd but u are also wrong sex shouldn't be care free because u guys where so carefree with it is why u are in this situation now clearly he dont want a child and the scare has made him worry about it speak to him I think would be your best bet

[Asker]

But we’re using protection I literally just got my body wrong? I was completely wrong?

[Asker]

I have spoken to him he says he’s not risking anything etc. He’s making sex terrible for me

[boggboss]

And that wrong call has now scared him lol explain that the mistake was made by you and the protection is working fine

[boggboss]

So explain you are not enjoying the sex and things need to change I'm suprised you would not expect him to make a drastic change after a pregnancy scare especially if it's somthing he dont want

[Asker]

So why is he still having the sex?

[boggboss]

Because he still wants sex just gets caught up in worrying

[Asker]

Him pacing a lot and having loads of pre com is a good sign isn’t it? But he says the sex isn’t better than usual. He doesn’t want to go twice as much and we’re having less sex. He’d always do it during the night too.

[boggboss]

Yes its a good sign

[Asker]

But the sex being less? Him masterbating more? He gets all his like really horny out himself and gives me like meh? Why is that? Even his behaviour etc like kissing is less, affection is less, he’s acting like I’m his friend. But then sex still happens. We had a date night the other day and I thought the sex was really good but he said it’s the same. But I suggested massaging each other and he put a comedy special on during his when normally massages lead to sex. During mine I changed it to just Music then he did start the sex. But it’s like I have to fight to get it almost. Like he doesn’t want it. Am I over thinking or?

[boggboss]

Well no of I feel a change I dont think u are again u will have to speak to him about it

[Asker]

Any time I speak to him about it he says im obsessed with sex etc and it’s such a big deal to me etc. That’s not normal is it? I should be able to speak freely about it. Is that a sign he is not into sex with me that he responses like that to me simply Asking about sex. Told me wirh previous people he spoke about it but because he was so young. He used to have sex loads with other people etc too and not with me. At this point why does he do it with me

[Asker]

Could I message you?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like this pregnancy scare really messed with his head and is making him fear having sex. Just communicate to him that sex isn’t fulfilling for you anymore because of the change in his behavior. You need things to go back to the way they were before any of this happened to be happy. Put the ball in his court. If he relaxes and comes around, then great. If he doesn’t, then maybe a new boyfriend is in order. You can’t stay in a relationship you’re not happy in.

[unknownforever]

The best thing you need to do is talk with him. Don't question it. It is stressing you, and clearly he is stressed and paranoid too. Have a big talk with him. Remind him you are on the pill and he is using comdoms, ask him about his worries and ways you both can work through it, but also tell him how it's making you feel. He's obviously very worried, but if there is no communication between you to, it'll never resolve

[Oigit]

I'd say its A. The pregnancy scare legitimately scared him and he is having issues getting past it. I can say that a pregnancy scare would be a big deal for me. Also given the implications a pregnancy has it would cause my me to mentally go into overdrive and cause me to think about a lot.

[Jamie05rhs]

The hell is a "mini pill"?

[Wise4myage]

A, and you have every right to be bothered.

[Wise4myage]

Its ruining the moment.

[Asker]

Exactly so why is he still doing it

[Wise4myage]

He's paranoid.

[Asker]

Why is he still having sex?

[Wise4myage]

Because he likes it and wants to keep you happy.

[Asker]

But if you think he’s not enjoying it why do it?

[Wise4myage]

You need to be having this discussion with him.

[Asker]

He still has tonnes of pre cum and needs to pace loads just like before so that’s a good sign right? But there was one time the other day I thought was way better and he was like no it’s about the same. He doesn’t want to go twice as often and it’s the least amount of sex we’ve had. But he’s still soaking in pre cum and pacing like crazy not to finish?

[Wise4myage]

Yes, lots of pre cum is always a good sign.

[noohair]

Pregnancy is not a death sentence, unless you get an abortion.

[OnTheLevel]

Have him wear a condom if he's that freaked out. Or, avoid sex during your fertile time to reduce the risk of pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

If you aren’t happy with the sex this is something you need to talk to him about