What do people get out of being dominant?

What’s the appeal sexually?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • It’s a very personal thing. It’s appealing to me because my mind, for some reason, decide to build an erotic thing for domination. The reason why some people develop some kinks is still mostly unexplained by science. What I know is that I had that desire in myself for a long time. When I’m in a bdsm scene in a dominant role I feel like I really am myself, in that moment more than in any other moment. It’s easy to think it’s about power and control, but there are more factors. I like the emotional bound that I share with a submissive. I love the feeling that we are both ourselves in a very raw form, a sort of primal energy. No other experience gives me that.

  • It's flattering and validating having my partner trust me to that extent.
    There are many times where I'm not sure about my choices for one reason or another and a partner who trusts me with those choices does the evaluation for me

    I'm not really in control of them, it's ultimately them who is determining what's right and wrong- through their submission by which they imply approval.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • For me it’s being a safe and secure place for a submissive.

    What I get out of it is knowing that someone is able to safely both physically and emotionally / mentally experience their specific kink (s).

    Yes a Dom gets off on what the sub is going through, but it’s not as clear cut as the pain or control, it’s for me an awareness of everything, reading what’s helping at an emotional level, reading her response emotionally and physically.

    A Dom that is also a sadist will get off on the act of inflicting physical and or mental ‘pain / Harm’ on the sub.

    Also yes as @smashingdoozy says, there is that control as well.

  • For me its the power of being in control and being able to take the lead

  • It's a kink basically some people just get off on controlling others

  • Control

  • Control and to dominate.

  • My fiancée loves keeping me in line 😉😋

  • I think it's the power trip.

  • For me, it’s getting to be in total control of my wife and control her every move in the bedroom because I’m not normally like that. So hair pulling and spanking is a really big turn on then when I cum inside her, I complete my domination. I think that only applies to guys though.

  • For me its the fact that I wanna see how much u are willing to do for me as ur Man in every way from ur ASS being Fuck or u eating pussy for me at the same time as I FUCKING u in ur ASS or what ever I think of at that time it's what truly turns me on.
    God Bless

  • It's not a sexual thing as much as it is a psychological

  • For some it’s sexually gratifying in that you can experience true connection and make space for a submissives vulnerability it is a powerful feeling

  • It's not that we try to be dominant, it's just how we are from real life setting, situations outside the bedroom i. e. social, decision making, work, business, gym etc and that reflects how we are in the bedroom

    If anyone is "acting" dominant in bed when they're not typically that type in reality it won't work

  • Well, for me it is about being in a position to control the other person and choosing for them making them happy too. Making them experience things they would not if they were on their own and the look of satisfaction on their face when they realize I made the right choice for them.

  • I like being dominated because I get nervous and worry I’m doing the wrong thing so when he has full control over me and tells me what to do and makes me do things it’s not a worry 😌
    What they get out of it is enjoyment and pleasure I guess

  • I think its like enjoying pampering but more forceful and direct