How can I get my boyfriend to change is mind on 69?

When I first told my boyfriend of 2 years I wanted to try this he was all for it and seemed really excited by it.

We went on holiday awhile back and we gave it ago but it didn't work out right. Then we tried and recently and it was going really well. I felt amazing but just as I was about to cum he stopped and said he didn't like it because my but was near his face. I'm a very clean person and I always make sure I'm clean down there when on the rear occasion he goes down on me.

I do not feel comfortable pushing him to something he feels uncomfortable with and I respect that he doesn't want too but at the same time I think once he got over the butt thing he'd really enjoy it and it spice up are sex life a little more.

He rarely goes down on me unless he thinks he owns me it and I always have to ask.

Lately he's not very excited when it comes to sex and I'm always the one to ask for it. i go to so much effort and it really upsets me when he looks board and uninterested as if he's half asleep most the time. I paint my nails, shave myself head to toe, do my hair and makeup and put on sexy lingerie and he can even be bothered. Last time I got all sexy for him and he was too tired for sex again and he didn't even finish.

I was pretty hurt but I tried to be understanding because I could tell he felt bad afterwards and I'm not one to put a man down when I comes to sex but lately he's just be showing zero effort.

I get he's not been very well as he's had back problems and works a hard manual job. Plus the 5 year age gap. I'm 23 and he's 28 we are both ment to be at are sexual prime but he just was to snuggle. I know he's not cheating and he's always telling he loves me. Just sometimes think it's not fair. I wake up at 5 every morning for work and work longer hours and it's a lot more manual yet I still have the energy even with a heart defect.
Updates:
+1 y
When I moved in I thought we'd be having sex more often but seem like it's less than ever. He even said this himself. i feel like I shouldn't bother anymore and then he'll know how it feels
+1 y
Might as well buy myself a vibrater don't even think he'd get the hint from that
0 0

Superb Opinion

  • Dang! I’d be on top of the opportunity to make love in a heartbeat. I do like 69 because I like playing dr and this gives a couple the naughty opportunity to explore one another’s body.

    The fact that you shave yourself head to toe for him is one of the saddest parts of what I read. I’d do 69 even if you had a full bush down there. In fact I prefer it due to the mature look.

    It seems that you need to have a very open and honest talk with him. Get straight where you both go here sexually and don’t be afraid to tell him your needs. Ask him what his needs and boundaries are. Guessing or using conjecture won’t fix it. Either he is desensitized by getting his release elsewhere i. e. masturbating to porn, sex with other women, or could have an issue with low T. He could also be under some sort of stress or ptsd you aren’t aware of. Talk to him.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Sometimes, the best way is by example. Go down on him and lick his balls and perineum, the folds of skin between his balls and anus. Let him know that you don't mind being in that area on him and he may get the idea that it's okay for him to be there on you.

    I'm guessing that you tried 69 with you on top (that seems to be the most typical position) so that your body presses down on his face, which might make him uncomfortable. Try things the other way around, with him on top. Use your hands to guide him in your mouth so that he doesn't go to far. He can control how much of your body he investigates with his tongue, which should make him more comfortable.

    Bottom line... talk with him about it and suggest things that would pleasure both you and him.

Most Helpful Girls

  • He doesn’t seem very adventurous sexually, nor does he seem particularly turned on by you. Sometimes in life you just have to admit the obvious and accept that you aren’t sexually compatible with him and move on. We’ve all found ourselves in those kind of relationships. You really are wasting your time with him. When there’s sexual chemistry with a partner, you’ll know it and won’t have to fight for it.

  • You should just wake him up by sitting on his face.

    • My kind of woman! That always worked for me!

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 20
  • Wow! 69 always turns me into an animal... maybe he needs a doc. Or medication to help

  • Okay we'll just tell him you have another plan then tell him you will understand the reason why he doesn't want to have a 69 tell him you have a different plan tell him you want to try it a 96

  • Seems like he isn't much into it, or might not be particularly into you unfortunately.

  • Invite him to put his tongue in your butt? First time I did that in a 69 I came instantly. Just make sure you are real clean.

  • Sounds like maybe there is more going on with him than him just being lazy. Yes sex does go down after a while of living together but for a guy to just not really want it is strange, especially if you've made an effort. Does he watch much porn? Maybe stop trying for a few weeks and see how he reacts. If he doesn't notice or try and initiate you've got a big problem.

    • I asked him if he watched porn and he said he's not watched it since I moved in because he hasn't had anytime alone from me to do it and he's got me now if he wants to release

  • Just seems like a guy thats not that sexual and dont enjoy eating out

    • He wouldn't get the hint because in his mind there is no issue

  • I don't understand it. Even if I'm tired and can't get it up I'd still perform oral and use my hands and any toys she wanted.

  • It sounds weird, he should be happy to have a girl like you and looking at your butt should turn him on, 69ing is fun.

  • Honestly, it just sounds like you’re not sexually compatible.

  • I love 69, of course I love giving analingus so that is probably why I don't mind her ass near my face. I will be licking it anyway

  • Sorry to say this BUT open your eyes he is telling you he does not want you any more, he just will not do his own dirty work dirty work. If you go back together or think you have resolved the problem it is going to fall back to the same thing and if you marry him it will be even worse if there is a child involved you have a real problem because he will use the child to control you. Becarefull think of your next move or be stuck for life in hell on Earth

    • I don't like this. My boyfriend is a lovely man and would never control me. He's so caring with me. I've been ill all day today and he's been looking after me trying to get me better.

    • I hope I am wrong. Lots of luck

  • I’d say talk to him about it and tell him how much it means to you that he engage with you in that way but I’ve been with partners who feel really weird about it and can’t seem to get over it and it really sucks. I really feel for you cause oral and 69 is amazing experiences

  • You’re not sexually compatible nor are you or he in your sexual prime. He’s past his and you won’t be until your mid thirties. You think you’re horny now just wait

  • Some guys don't like giving oral - usually if they are selfish or feel they do not know what they are doing.

    If you were on top, maybe flip it around. His head would be at the top of your pussy, and he wouldn't be so close to your ass

  • watch porn with it and tell him that it looks like a lot of fun

  • I think his point was about his ability to breathe, not the hygiene.

    Just talk to him.

  • What! He stopped cause your but was near his face. Wow! I'd eat the booty too! 😂 He's crazy I'm shocked there are still guys like that out there

  • Honestly the both of you have two different libidos, im sure you love him but this is going to be a huge problem if you get married, trust me. maybe you'd be better off as close friends with benefits and seek someone with your same sexual libido. Honestly its going to hurt later on when your married he's not going to change and sex is a big part of a relationship

  • Not a good guy if he can't satisfy his girl

  • Have you had him get his testosterone levels checked?

    • Well he's a bold 6ft2 man with a muscler build so imagine there pretty high

    • You would be surprised. If he is that uninterested in sex it is probably his testosterone levels.

    • He's definitely interested in sex just not with me. Looks at porn and always touching my boobs just can't be bothered in the act

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