Until I feel ready!
Now I'm about to go off on a tangent, so fair warning-
I don't believe in setting a "time limit" on when I sleep with a guy for the first time. It can be weeks, months, hell the first guy I dated, he waited YEARS before we had sex! Yes, really. If he doesn't understand or respect that? He is very welcome to move on; it won't hurt my feelings, lol.
That's why when people on here, especially young women, ask, "When should I sleep with a guy?" I feel kind of... sad for them. Because they equate sex with love- by that I mean they're afraid a guy will not want them unless they sleep with them. No, it should be the other way around: you have sex with someone as a means to show them how much they mean to you. At least in a perfect world: we all know romance and life doesn't always work out that way-
... I'm looking at you f buddies and one night stands 🙄. But I digress.
Basically I don't need a time frame for when I sleep with a guy. Either it feels right or it doesn't. If it's the latter, either he's not the right man, or it's too soon for me. Unlike most people I can't sleep with someone unless there's an emotional connection there; otherwise it's just meaningless to me. So if I had to set a frame of when I sleep with a guy? After we're dating, been together for a while, and most importantly? I trust and feel comfortable around him.
Shouldn't be an argument from a man. It truly is on the woman's time line but years? Yeah, right. Fuck off!
@Slingblade1126 Yeah, years? Most women I know can't even hold a conversation and they want me to wait years? Thank goodness I don't date prudes, my women are down to FUCK. In a ldr and as soon as I meet her we're going to fuck.
@Juxtapose Sad you have such low standards you're willing to fuck women who can't even hold a conversation.
Honestly I don't really set a limit. I would like to say I'm a dignified person. I don't have a casual or friends with benefits situation going on.
And I'm currently not dating so it's hard to say really especially as this is the longest time I have been single. In the past I was a little more open minded I would usually take my time to get to know someone, that might mean talking/texting for maybe a month only because I was busy, a date or two then maybe date 3 if I was still interested I might engage in something more physical.
My longest relationship we slept together on our first date, and with hindsight I realise now that he never actually wanted a relationship with me. But that's another story really.
I dunno my libido isn't as high as it used to be so I'm not really that interested in sex these days.
Maybe the right guy might trigger something who knows but for now I will have my head on, since going with my feelings lead me up the wrong path one too many times
Can't set a specific timeline on it, just when it feels right. In the past it's normally been anywhere between a couple of weeks upto 3-4 months, I think 4 months would be the most I'd wait before wondering what's going on.
These days it's different, since my divorce I've only actually dated 3 women and everyone of them it's was sex on the 3rd date, things do change as you get older though and it's a bit more straight forward. Now I'm not looking for relationships as I worked out it's not what I want at the moment, so I'm all about casual sex so this question doesn't really apply to these situations.
The longest I’ve ever waited was about 6 weeks. I also wouldn’t really be in a serious relationship with a girl before that point. I might really like a girl, enough to not be talking to anybody else, but at some point if I get the idea that she’s not as into me as I’m into her which is what that would signal to me, I’d leave for that reason. In my experience the more a girl likes you the quicker she’ll have sex with you, even if that means breaking her usual rule.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!lmao. No. Not even six months. I want to know what the chemistry is like.
Having sex moves a relationship along, changes it, intensifies it.
At the same time, rushing into sex can also be problematic. It can confuse things, add another element before some other things are clarified or explored.
I can't imagine any 'bad deed' deserves a six year punishment. Only religious beliefs seem to warrant that.
Absolutely no set timeframe for anyone. In your case it was totally necessary and I'm glad it worked out so perfectly for you. Others may have a different situation. Say you have been friends for years, then one day decide to start dating. In that case sex may happen much sooner, but probably not the first date.
Each and every relationship and person has a timeline only they feel is appropriate.
Max? Possibly marriage but surely engagement. Im not comfortable having sex in less than 6 months
2 1/2 years, a proposal, and a wedding. On our honeymoon we’ll remove the restrictions. Forever isn’t a long time for me and the man that is in an agreement with the decision that we both made.
6 years? You are a saint as half the girls have sex on the first date. Wait, did I say "girls"? I meant "Ho's".
How does that make a girl
Judgmental much?
@Subarugirl Oh I'm sure many people consider a girl a Ho who has sex on the first date. I wouldn't even define it as a date, more like a hook up.
I’d be surprised if it were longer than a few months. Whenever we are both ready.
I can wait a long time. Years. I actually prefer it that way.
@Juxtapose I agree with you that men and women are biologically programmed to have different tendencies around sex.
However, none of the men I know would entertain having sex with a woman they couldn't hold a conversation with. They simply have higher standards than that. After all, if you want to go down the 'biological need to spread one's seed' route, what you're doing when you fuck a low calibre woman, is essentially opening up the possibility that you may reproduce with a low calibre woman. Because birth control is only 97% effective, no mater if it's a pill, IUD or condom. If the pill is what you're relying on, it's even less effective if she hasn't taken it correctly, which, if you're fucking a low-IQ moron, is not unlikely. So, yeah, I think it's low quality male behaviour to do this.
By all means, spread your seed. But at least have the self-respect to do it with someone who you don't think is mentally compromised.
I don't think I have ever dated a mentally healthy woman who could hold a conversation as well as I can in my entire life. I am autistic and an absolute magnet for people with mental illnesses because I listen well, etc. My girlfriend before my current one had bipolar, PTSD, schizophrenia, agoraphobia, etc. Almost all of my girlfriends have been molested at some point in their lives too. So yeah.. I am so used to carry on conversations on my back that it doesn't really bother me to do so unless I'm not really feeling energetic.
*carrying conversations
@Juxtapose ahh... I had an ex who had Asperger's. Great guy in many ways... actually kind of the opposite to you... he felt everything extremely deeply... but also had no boundaries... and could erupt in episodes. It's a shame you haven't encountered many (well, any!) mentally healthy women. Even better though (I would suggest) is a woman who healed from mental illness. I can't imagine if you've had the shagadelic experience of the 'crazies' that you could go for a vanilla lass. BUT a woman who has been down the rabbit hole of healing trauma would be a beautiful being for you to encounter.
If there is chemistry, ideally the first date
Longest I've waited is 6 months. So my answer is 6 months.
Popular number. I would've said 6 weeks or 6 months. 6 weeks is my max for a woman I really loved and lusted for 😈😈😈🤓😁 hot'!
I'm waiting for marriage so if a guys not down for that, you sir can leave.
Exactly. A man that is committed to you and not your body will desire the idea of sex but respect your boundaries/standards. If not? Next.
Well, I'm a virgin still waiting for the girl so... does my whole life count?
Till we’re married so (8-10 months)
I am more worried about a minimum. If a woman wanted sex after marriage, I would be open to that. Realistically, it's going to happen after a few months.
I don’t care about sex so it doesn’t matter to me
I can’t believe the amount of time some of you mention in here. Never thought a man would stick around waiting for two and six years… That’s commitment!!
It would be weeks at most. It’s fairly easy to see if you are getting along otherwise in that time frame. Depends though. Some you justify click with from the start.
*just (autoC grr)
6 years I really hope you where a kid when that relationship started and the wait really was about maturity. I would say anything longer than 6 months would make me question her intents.
Yes.
You got a few days before we’re physical in some way. If your not intimate with me within a few dates you don’t care about me. For sex I’ll wait months even years as long as there’s intimacy.
Dates not days.
Intimacy isn't the same thing as physical contact.
Depends on live language. Intimacy for me is physical contact with an emotional tie.
I dont get into a relashionship unless i have already done it with them
16 and has rules like this.
Might as well be a prostitute.
@Kenzy009 its not a rule its just something that makes sense. Im not saying I wouldn't date someone who i haven't been with but unlike other people i dont just care about looks.
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