Anyone up for a roleplay?

[roleplayfun]

Dm me if you are, I'm bored

[anylolone]

So, you are in a tavern and a shifty figure stands in corner.
He's your contact, an old elf, lacking an arm and using an eyepatch.
He sits there, impatiently waiting for you while sipping his mead, with the load in a chest he's sit on.

Three big bugbears guard the entrance, none seem in the mood for trouble today and none of them are smart enough to care about who started the problem in this dirty backwater blackmarket den that they insist in calling The Old Grell, conveniently placed right next to the busiest least guarded docks in the kingdom.

At the bar sits, a big orc well armored woman that just makes your stomach churns, like you known her and it was bad, besides there's a drunken dwarf lady pushing small talk with her, probably a dock worker.

You see at the side table, a few gnomes, halfligns and goblins playing dice and betting, talking loudly and making a ruckus. You see that the crupiet, a little goblin girl is not playing fair, but you can't think of how you know this for certain.

You feel like this could be a set up, what do you do?

[PoopyPoop]

I am a level 99 elven wizard specializing in delayed blast fireball with quarterstaff +3. I was raised in the woods with the other elven folks shooting our bows but I had a knack with magic, especially fire magic, and tended to set our forests on fire. I was then recruited by the high wizard council and shunned by most of the elven hippie kingdom. At the wizard tower, I met a lot of hot girls but I was left with the question of whether they liked me for my talent or my body. So I started working out and dual-classed to a fighter. I'm also a level 99 fighter.

[PoopyPoop]

I just got out of a chair and rolled a 3d20 and got 42.

[PoopyPoop]

Some people might wonder why I still use quarterstaff even though I'm a level 99 fighter. I'm just sort of used to it because we had a lot of wood in the forests and so I got used to bashing people with long sticks. I also want to show off that I'm a level 99 wizard and not just a level 99 fighter. My favorite food is kobold roast because we encountered those a lot back in the day trying to ambush us on the road. Then I'd cast delayed blast fireball and voila, I'd have dinner ready. It's also a lean source of protein. I'm trying to do a low-carb thing even though I need some carbs to give me a boost when I'm memorizing my magic spells.

[PoopyPoop]

One time I encountered the kobolds on the road who were trying to ambush human travelers. I cast my delayed blast fireball but accidentally aimed it in a way that killed every living thing there. So I felt a bit bad and to try to make up for it, I ate the humans. I don't think that's cannibalism because while we elves might share a lot of features in common with humans and can mate with them to produce half-elves, we're not exactly alike. For example, they can't live 800 years. So I thought no big deal, at least let's not make this precious human meat go to waste since I'm used to the kobold. It wasn't bad. I prefer kobold but it reminded me of bacon: a little bit fattier than I was used to but very crispy after my fireball.

[PoopyPoop]

I think I could eat elves too if I roasted one by accident. My elven parents lived through the great frost giant war where food was scarce and taught me never to waste food. So if I roasted an elf by accident, I don't want to let the food go to waste. The least I could do is eat them. I would make sure they are well-done though because we elves are susceptible to certain infections transmitted by other elves. That actually tends to surprise humans because they perceive us as so healthy while living so long. Yet we have some diseases. It doesn't tend to shorten our lifespans so much but my elven village had this outbreak once when one of the elves had sex with a monkey. Those infected have to take healing potions every single day. I hate the taste of healing potions.

[TangBang69]

Usually, something particular you have in mind?

[kennyw87]

Roleplayfun I've dropped you a message hopefully we will speak soon.

[Manchild2018]

You sure you ain't a catfish?

[roleplayfun]

If I was I would've used a pic of a better-looking woman, don't worry

[Manchild2018]

You look fuckable.

[JonAsk69]

I can’t message you yet

[varan69]

Am i late to this post? Lol damn

[Sidfawy]

what is that 😂, am new in that kind

[Bdsmaster]

Do you have any plot for roleplay luv?
If yes then I would love too.

[bananathunder]

i'm late to the party... but i'm down today

[Loyaltyhasaprice]

Yess

[QuietRunner]

I'll play DM'd