How would you react to finding someone pumpkin humping?

You proudly display your lovingly carved pumpkin lantern on the porch for the neighbourhood to admire. But one guy admires it a little too much and can't resist that little sweet mouth you carved and he's busy reseeding it.

How would you react?
0 5

Superb Opinion

  • I'd say "Hey Google, detonate the jack-o'-lantern" and see how he reacts to having half a dick.

    What?

    Doesn't everyone integrate their exploding pumpkins with their smart-home systems? I can't be the only one...

    • That is a little extreme. Can't you just say "Google, trip the bear trap!" His dick will be gone, but at least the rest of him will live.

    • @Red_Arrow It's a small charge. Just enough to justify the nickname of Stumpy.

Most Helpful Guy

  • It could be funny as fuck. Several animals such as elk are in the middle of their mating season in October. Males in tend to get supper aggressive. So the dumb ass screwing my pumpkin could get a visit from a very aggressive male elf that wants to eat the pumpkins outside of my door. I sure as shit would be wishing that happens. Since elk and deer can kill people I'd hope they don't make too much of a mess out of the sob.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm surprised that hasn't happened already somewhere.. Oh wait it probably did🤣🤣
    Me, I'd either laugh my ass off, take video and post it, or call the psych ward cuz he may need help (no pun intended, not "that" kind of help🤣🤣)

    • It's happened a few times. My favourite is the man who looked at the police and said "oh is it midnight already?"

    • Hahaha 🤣

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 31
  • I would tell him to keep the pumpkin

  • Wait a minute! Are you telling me that isn’t normal?

    • 🤣🤣🤣

  • I'd have to laugh

  • I’d run away with eyes scarred for life.

  • I would kick his ass so hardx that I would have to remove my foot from my boot and let the boot stay deeply planted.

  • I would do a double take and then I would say see bro I told you that pumpkin look like a sheep's butt
    I wonder if I should stick my head out the door and say hey bro you're fucking a sheep's butt. Or should I just let him keep thinking it's a pumpkin

  • Violently. You're standing on my property with your dick out you had to know getting shot was a likelihood.

  • NO Pumpkin Humping!
    NO Pumpkin Humping!

    You should post signs around your neighborhood that say NO PUMPKIN HUMPING!

  • It's no laughing matter the rape of vegetables. Millions of vegetables are subjected to brutal sexual acts against their will every year. Cucumbers forced to perform faultlessly and then discarded, carrots that are made to feel inadequate because they can't measure up to a marrow. Melons brutally cut up and pounded by incels. When will the medness stop? 😂😂😂

  • Somebody would be getting their ass kicked with their dick still out

    • No rock your cock out?

    • You can rock out with your cock out as much as you want as long as you're not fucking my pumpkin

  • I would probably die laughing.

  • Like dude, she ain't a free bitch. 10 bucks a go

  • First, I'd laugh. Then I'd get out the baseball bat.

  • I don't have many limits, but that is wrong on every count.

  • If it's a female pumpkin, I'd probably start jerking off.

  • We need to stop sexualizing pumpkins.

    #PumpkinRights
    #PumpkinEquality

  • Smashing Pumpkins?

    • Lolol

  • Ya, he better not be porkin' my pumpkin on the porch, I'd probably have a BB gun at the ready and just shoot him in his dangly pumpkins. Then bash him over the head with another pumpkin.

  • I'm more interested in the woman who could fit a pumpkin in her

  • Take a pic and post it on social media, lol.

  • Show More (15)