When someone has a mind thats often in the gutter, do you take it as them being down to fck?

Someone totally made me think about this. I often state that i have no intentions of having sex with someone within the first 6 months of dating them. However, because i have such a dirty sense of humor and love to discuss sexual topics, its easily mistaken for being down to fck. I keep having to remind myself that its no longer like the innocence of elementary and high school days where we could joke about this shit without it being taken seriously as “You. Me. Bed now.” Like it sucks that i can't do the same shit online, at work, or in college because people definitely misinterpret it as being dtf. Guess im immature 🤷‍♀️💀🤦‍♀️
In college, these dudes used to joke dirty and they’d go “Hey, not around good girl Desi”. And then soon as i showed them that i can play dirty too, they took it the wrong way. One invited me to a football tailgate with his two friends who had girlfriends. The two taken dudes tried to make moves on me when “my date” wasn't looking. One kept trying to stare and feel up my tits when his girl wasn't looking and the other grabbed my ass in front of his girl. He was like “Baby, meet Desi, my other baby.” I slapped him off of me as she ran off crying. I was like wtf was that. He was like “oh you ain't bout it? I thought because you joked in class like we did, that you were down for anything.” I went to tell “my date” only to learn he invited a “second date”. She and i went to confront him but ended up looking dumb as he ran off with a third girl who was more willing to put out then we were.
#FeelFreeToList #CanYouHandleIt
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I have a female friend that's exactly like that. She's a lot older than you are but she's the same way. She can make a sexual connotation or joke out of just about any off-handed comment. For instance, one time I was at her apartment fiddling with her TV remote because it wasn't working that well. So I asked her if she had any batteries because the one's in the remote were probably dead. And with a goofy smile she says " Oh you know I got batteries honey!" Another time I was helping her move stuff and she handed me an empty box to put odds and ends in. So I did so. Then when I handed it to her she winks and says " Thanks for filling up my box." Stuff like that. Sometimes it gets to be much, but for the most part it is amusing.
    Yet, as far as I know only one man has made it into her bed in the last three years, and that was her ex-husband, a man she has two children with.
    Everybody thinks she's a whore because of the way she talks. But I know her well. Nobody ever gets into her bed, and she gets offers routinely. Personally I think she's still in love with her ex-husband. I think she's grasping onto the faint hope that they might reconcile. Maybe they will, who knows.
    They were together 20 years. He was her first boyfriend going right back to high school. So there's some emotional history there. But I know him well too. He likes the ladies a little too much. He also likes the bottle. Not a good mix. Anyhow, sorry for the lengthy reply. Your question just reminded me of her.

    • No i like it long! And love your reply too lol. But i’d love hanging out with people like her. Haha she gets me. And yep I've only slept with 2 people but my filthy mouth would have people thinking otherwise

    • Well I enjoyed writing it because she's a good friend. She talks wild, but deep down she believes in fidelity and loyalty and being a woman committed to only one man. She just has fun with this stuff she says. And I know her well so I can take it that way. Two people. . .26 years of age. Yeah you're all talk lol. But's that's a good thing.

    • Im far from all talk. I've got plenty of shit floating around about me to back it up

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  • You're DTF but you have standards and you have solid character.
    It's only going to be with THE guy you want, when you want.
    I think you've been clear on that. Not everyone gets it.

    • Well thanks i think haha

    • You want what you want, you make no apologies for it. Your man is going to treat you right. You're in control of your sexuality and owe nothing to anyone.

    • Preach on 🙌

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 41
  • Not necessarily. But they are probably horny!

    • Yea im not. I just love sayin whatever is on my mind, dirty or not

    • I’m kinda like that too. Lol. I like to push that boundary. I find it fun.

  • I love people who are comfortable making witty sexual references without being crude or vulgar. It shows that they don't have sticks up their asses. I hate political correctness.

    When a woman has that kind of personality, I don't automatically assume that she is hitting on me. But I do assume that she is no ingénue. She's experienced, no doubt comfortable with her own body, knows what she is doing in bed and isn't inhibited. So, in that respect, she might spark my interest.

    Either way, I'd admire her and like having her as a friend, whether or not I found physically appealing. Besides, I'm married, so...

    • I hear ya!!

  • More often then not I simply think it's a person I can hang out with. My mind does not leave the gutter and if a offensive joke can be made, I'm making. Also don't talk about something like religion or politics around me because the sheer amount of offensive and fucked up jokes I can make about is staggering. That filter between my brain and mouth was gone years ago.

    • Yea i may be a dirty joker in terms of sex topics but i never offend if its something like rape or some shit. And i hate talking politics, religion and stereotypes with people because they find things funny that i certainly do not

  • They're 'testing the waters' in search of a 'kindred spirit'... friends with benefits.
    There's that old folk maxim:
    "IF you're here after, what I'm here after then... hereafter WE'RE here after
    the SAME thing!" You WANNA?
    As that song lyric goes...
    "I just wanna USE your 'love' tonight. I don't wanna LOSE your 'love' tonight..."

    • Lmao this is a great answer! And omg I've been singing that song wrong all these years 🤣 i thought he was always saying “lose” never realized “use”
      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6ODfe5017h4

  • There's a thin line. That's all I'll say.

    • The only thin line i know is between love and hate 🤣

    • Nah you know exactly what I mean.

    • I promise i dont tho

  • It definitely points the mind in a certain direction, but no I wouldn't say that's an automatic indication of a girl being down. I understand the point though, definitely would put the assumption out there.

    • So how can you tell when someone is down or not

    • Usually it isn't just jokes for very long.

    • Shit you’d hate me. I could joke all year 🤣

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  • Not anymore, just attention seaking teases

    • If you say so. I feel there's a difference between attention seeking and humor. Attention seeking to me would be posting half naked pics and shit

    • It's not as funny when they get offended by it, if you are so against said dirty stuff but joke about it, it just feels like manipulate to me. Usually the girls that make dirty jokes get affected or creeped out when I hit them with the same humor. I'm not interested in jokes that alienate me.

    • I wouldn't get offended if im joking with them about it. But some people get rapey thinking they can just take shit that they never had in the first place JUST BECAUSE someone joked with them

  • nope, that would not be wise for me to do

    • Thats true

    • because I know a few of them... lmao

  • I feel realted. I never start telling dirty jokes unless i know the person well, not even talking sexy funny. Once a colleague started sending me some dirty text msgs while we still at work, like wtf 🤣. Just because am talking about sexy funny shit does not am dtf 🙄

    • Right but i guess where i fail is, i show that dirty goofy side of me without knowing them well enough. So i guess its only fair they make assumptions

    • Even though! Like what kinda fuckt up is the whole thing that people think : shyiaaat! I just met this person and are DTF yao. People are too dump and have very unrealy expectations in life, desperet too

  • Nope. Not inherently. Being dirty minded doesn't mean one is dtf

    • I wish more people would get that

    • Agreed. I stopped talking in sexyality mostly, because guys kept trying with me. It gets so gods damned annoying.

    • Lol some are so desperate that they jump soon as they hear the word sex. Like mf did you even listen to the whole sentence 🤣

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  • Not necessarily. Some men and women just like to think in the gutter a lot.

    I'm guessing that a legitimate survey would find that most people whose minds are in the gutters are just looking for attention, has nothing to do with sex.

    • I don't know how it keeps coming back around to attention seeking. Its not attention seeking if you're being yourself

  • sadly yes people irl are going to look at you differently, cheaply, like you are easy to get. Then when they see you aren't they are upset because they thought they were going to get laid quickly and move on. so they just ghost or go somewhere else and leave you. I'm a little weird on this stuff too. I'd have to know you, your personality and who you are first. I'm not the type to jump in bed so for me with too much emphasis on dirty talk I'm going to distance myself from you. Like I'm cool to be friends with such girls but it would be made clear I'm not interested in them like that. Mostly because of being out and about I would be embarrassed by that behavior.

    A big reason is because girls who talk this way usually do more than that. In my case they always tried feeling me up and making passes. Then they treated me like shit because I wasn't into casual stuff and I got the lectures about thinking I'm better than them, or maybe having a small penis, or maybe being gay, all kinds of shit. So I've really distanced myself from that behavior. It's all lived experience and as you said to another commenter things change as you get older. It's not because of age, it's because of the things you experience. You noticed a pattern and back away when you see certain behavior or you dive in head first expecting certain other things to follow.

    • Lmao that part is so right where they feel they were “mislead”. Oh shit this just made me realize something else i’ll mention in a bit. And damn you made a good point how you said its not about age, its about patterns and past experiences. Damn you're preaching today

    • lol well damn I'm glad you think so. Usually its you preaching the sermons on here though XD

    • I have my moments haha

  • I first was thinking that one doesn’t always mean the other and I’m still sticking with that as my answer but thinking back when I was younger I pretty much got down with every chick I knew with a dirty mind and the few that I didn’t mess with wasn’t because they weren’t down it was because they had kids with a homeboy or one of my homeboys thought they loved them so I avoided those chicks the best I could I literally had a homeboys old lady go in the bathroom and on her way in there had a big smile and was staring at me hard she was in there for a few and I was watching 2 other homeboys playing video games and she must of been in there knocking one out cause she came back with her cheeks all flushed and the same smile and through her wet panties in my face I only met her twice and didn’t even know her name but she obviously had a dirty mind and was down so from my experience you would think I’d say that one does mean the other but I still wouldn’t just assume it nowadays

    • Daaaamn

  • I can see how someone would think that. But no, I get a dirty mind doesn't mean that someone is DTF. I especially get that just because someone is interested doesn't mean that they are interested with me.

  • No not necessarily it just depends on the person your joking around with.

    • Yea and i usually just joke like that with anyone who isn't my parent, grandparent, a minor, or elderly

    • Mhmm, well it's 50/50 then on what kind of response you'll get.

  • It is widely regarded as overt flirting.

    • Oh wow I don't know how

  • No, Nearly all my friends have a dirty sense of humor, we make crude jokes regardless of who we are talking to, it has squat to do to flirting lol.

    • Mine isn't always pertaining to flirting either

    • One time I just whispered penis repeatedly over the phone and then hung up, because I knew the recipient would find it hilarious.

  • Unfortunately people will have assumptions on people based off situations or problems they have to face. But I definitely don't think you are down in the dumps probably have morals instead, I have my fair share of morals I follow as well.

    • Lmao down in the dumps 🤣

  • Not always. I know, sometimes, they're just flirting, or something else.

    • How do you tell the difference when its flirting vs something more

    • As you already know, I can rarely tell the difference. 😂

    • Yeaaaa you’re right 🤣

  • Now girl, you're old enough to know that if you say to a guy "I want your cock", he doesn't think it means " you WANT it, but you're not really asking for it now - it's just like well, I want ANY cock right about now, so I'm just saying". He's gonna think you mean you mean you're dtf.

    • 😂😂😂

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