Is your sex life misogynistic?

[lairyshe]

In our culture women are often treated like objects, especially with women of colour and how we are exocitized and fetishized. I think it's important to take a look at our sex lives and examine the reasons behind what we like and if any of those are sinister.

Obviously a lot of men partake in finding sexually violent and vulgar imagery and words arousing. With violent adjectives like "destroyed", "pounded" and "banged" all being used akin to an attack on a passive dehumanised victim, a thing, an achievement and conquest to be proud of feed their masculinity performance. I think if the guys you are sleeping with get off on degrading and dominating you, you should look closely in to that and check if it's influenced by latent or even obvious misgyonistic views. You should also look in to why you like be controlled and shamed with words like "slut" during sex, and address if it's perhaps you internalising sexism and also a bit of stockholm sydrome. If I was a black woman and I was sleeping with a white guy who used a racist fancy during sex, I'd definitely find that suspect, and these sexist actions should be treated no differently.

Saying women liking dominant men becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy when we are constantly told this by society and not actually given a choice. Guys slave away in the gym obsessing over every muscle, worry about their penis size, their stamina, not because of the pleasure of the woman or her feelings, but because of how it makes themselves feel more masculine and like real men.

Every guy I have been with demonstrated things you see in graphic pornography and views of submissive women, this content is probably created for the misogynistic desire and not causing it, it just gives them more ideas. When 8 out of 10 guy call you a slut in bed and assume you like it that's a problem.

[Mia-Wallace]

I am in a D/s. I serve my man. I do that willingly. It can look misogynistic to people who want to moralize and label everything people choose to do, to people who like to see everything through gender-conflict theory lens, but it's quite fine with me.

I like my man to rule, command, degrade me at the right time as it turns me on, punish and funish, and control me. And I like myself to be the perfect sub. I want to serve and worship my man. It is, simply put, what I need. And no, I am not uneducated, jobless, or a financial burden.

My advice to you is to find some "equal" guy or maybe a submissive one for yourself. Enjoy your life the way you want and let others enjoy theirs the way they want. Nobody appreciates a very judgmental person, especially if the judgement is based on your personal opinion about what they choose to do in their house and bedroom. Mixing this simple subject with seemingly complex terms like "internalized misogyny" and turning it into some cultural issue etc. Makes it look like you want to justify being nosy. I said that bluntly, but that is true. It's 2021 and at least in most parts in Europe and America, you can choose whoever you want to. Simply choose the guy who calls you "queen" as he gently puts his dick inside you. Or maybe that guy who lets you do him with a stapon. I'm not mocking or kink-shaming. As a BDSM practitioner, I have a lot of respect for submissive men.

"When 8 out of 10 guy call you a slut in bed and assume you like it that's a problem."

Not necessarily. But in any case, the bigger problem is that you're sleeping with them without first discussing what you like and don't like. If you don't have the habit of discussing your hard limits with people who do you, the problem is you.

[liel443]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Anonymous]

You are the a classic example of the modern female "victim". You look at natural human sexuality and spin every detail of it into "misogyny". Women like you will always be miserable until you leave behind your victim mindset and stop judging everyone else by your own personal biases and either find happiness with someone who is like minded, or change your mindset. Because you are never going to change human nature.

I dated a woman like you once. She was so fixated on "equality" in the bedroom that she could never find any true satisfaction or peace of mind. Because the truth is there is no such thing as the kind of sexual "equality" women like her envision in their minds. Men and women are naturally different and want and need different things from their partners. Satisfaction is found, not through equality, but through an arrangement whereby the very different sexual needs of each partner are met by the same sexual acts.

For example, most women naturally want to be sexually dominated by their man, and most men want to sexually dominate their woman. That is in their DNA. Is that equality? Not in the sense you mean the word, but it equally satisfies the sexual needs of both partners, so it is the closest thing to sexual equality you are going to find. And if you can let go of your baggage, you'll find it can be amazing for you and your partner.

Your problem is that you see the 'dominator' as superior and the 'dominated' as inferior. That is a condition that exists only in your mind. It is your problem, that you, and only you, can fix (although therapy might help you get there).

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for MHO. Best of luck to you.

[Anonymous]

You might not believe me, but a lot of men like myself get into this stuff because of women, because most women like it. Or at least most women they have sex with.

When I was sexually inexperienced the first thing I did was look for sex advice written by women. The advice was usually about long foreplay and how to pleasure a woman orally, and that’s what I’d always do.

But then I’d often get asked by the woman to be more rough. Some would outright tell me that they enjoyed being dominated. At the time I had no idea how to be, and I didn’t know what they even meant by “being dominated”. Those relationships would usually end soon after or I’d get cheated on.

As I understood it my inability to give them what they wanted in the bedroom - dominance - led to them becoming sexually frustrated and moving on. I’ve also overheard many conversations between women about sex, and some of them pretty much said the same thing about their boyfriends. “He’s too gentle, I wish he’d be more rough”.

I decided to learn how to be more dominant in the bedroom, and once I figured it out it was a completely different story. They’d tell me how good the sex was.

[God_of_Thunder]

So, when it's the woman who specifically requests that you spank her, pull her hair, call her names, etc; what would you call that?

I am always a gentle lover when I am with a new partner, but once they specifically tell me that's how they want to be treated, I will oblige, because I want my girl to enjoy herself.

Is it still misogynistic when it's a female-driven, and female-encouraged act?

[Celtero]

Oh yeah, women suck big time, and I love seeing them be degraded. The less they enjoy the sex the better, the more objectified the better, the more regret the better.

[FunkyMonkee]

Exocitized? What the hell is that?

[Phoenix98]

Well I can say that women like dominant men because I've seen a lot of women say this, my exes being among them.

Things during sex that a lot of women like for instance hair pulling, choking, spanking, being pinned, tied up, etc. Those are all acts of dominance acts of dominance which they are getting off on and being turned on by. Further reinforcing the above statement.

Yeah men do things to feel masculine just like how women do things to make themselves feel feminine.

In our culture women are often treated like objects.
No I hate to break it to you but we objectify each other men do it to women and women to it to men. And men with different skin colours are objectified, exoticized and fetishized just the same.



Obviously a lot of men partake in finding sexually violent and vulgar imagery and words arousing. With violent adjectives like "destroyed", "pounded" and "banged"

Yeah because it's not like women ask for those exact things, like being fucked harder, being smacked, being choked, choked harder, etc, etc. Those women do exist and they are not at all uncommon. Lets not forget the whole 50 shades of grey ordeal, best selling book/movie which revealed just how many women fantasy about the above things and showed just how many women have a rape fantasy.

Your argument is bullshit and your logic is not the greatest a lot of the things you say can be debunked or proven false.

[jasco]

Ok first off sex is sex. If a women says she's not into it than she's not into it. Most guys are all you gotta do is say you don't wanna do it and they won't do it. Speak up. Don't get me wrong their will always be assholes but yea

[fred_durst]

Is your sex life misogynistic?
i only slept with hookers so no
i actually proud doing this , i feel i had helped women that struggle with life (financially mostly)

[Djaay]

I agree with your quest of a question. Through out my adult life I see some men of this nature and its disturbing in my veiws. I've never treated a girl\woman like that and I feel its more prevalent than not.

[Anonymous]

Studies show that the majority of women have rape fantasies (Google it). That obviously doesn't mean they actually want to be raped, but it is indeed a manifestation of the FACT that women love to be sexually dominated, objectified and yes, even degraded by THE RIGHT MAN. That is just human nature. Normal human sexuality. BOTH men and women are the drivers behind everything you described in your question. Trying to blame men for all of this is just ignorant.

Now, there are exceptions, and perhaps you are one of them. Or, maybe you are just experiencing the cognitive dissonance many women feel on this subject. But if you stop thinking about it so much and just follow your natural sexual instincts, you'll probably find you experience less psychological discomfort and a lot more sexual satisfaction, and better relationships, too.

Best if luck.

[Anonymous]

I don't follow. Since when does a dude wanting to have sex with you mean that he hates you?

[Anonymous]

Nope, it is non-existent.

[Anonymous]

Its interesting that men are blamed for this.. Every single woman i have ever been with has been the one asking me to do things that quite frankly made me nauseous. Things like pulling her hair, Spanking her ass, Degrading her, Holding her down and acting like im forcing her.. None of those things are things i like to do, As mentioned they make me sick. Perhaps you should back your supposition with research and studies rather than personal experience with poorly chosen men.

[Anonymous]

Every girl I’ve been with has been the “misogynistic” one they liked to be degraded completely verbally and physically. I had absolutely nothing to do with what they wanted😭 also everything I do sexually is for the woman’s pleasure not to make me feel more masculine thats kinda a stretch

[Anonymous]

Well thats what she asks for so why is it bad lol. I don't even like it😂