My husband says he loves me but I really have a hard time believing him?

[Anonymous]

So last week I was trying to come up with ways to lose weight. Tried to get my husband involved and he didn't seem to like how I was doing it. He told me that he loved me just the way I am and I don't have to change because he loves me. I tried explaining to him that I dont love myself the way I am now and would be happy and healthier if I could lose about 60 pounds.
He had a tyraid about him loving me the way I am. And i have a feeling he's against it because he doesn't want me leaving him. I want to lose weight to feel better about myself and healthier.
I have a feeling he's just telling me he loves me so I dont suspect anything. But I have seen the sexually explicit photos of another woman he's liked on social media and my body doesn't even come close. And he pretty much called her hot. He never calls me hot. And our sex life is pretty much non existent and when we do have it, its like he wants to get it over with.
So if he loves me like he says he does why is he looking at another womans sexually explicit photos?
I have tried spicing things up by sexting him that didn't go over well. It was awkward and it came across to me that he was disgusted so I stopped.
I really don't feel love from him at all. Saying you love someone and showing them are two completely different things.
I wish he wanted me and not someone he sees through a computer screen. I wish we had sex more than twice a month. I wish he would initiate more instead of me being the only one. I have tried telling him how I feel and he just gets upset
I try and wear lingerie for him but feels like he only gets it up when I wear something like that. Meaning he's in the mood because of the outfit NOT me.
I am so upset about him deceiving me and the overall neglect. And like one day instead of saying "hey how about we have some fun"... i found out the next day instead of asking me for sex he watched porn.
It kills me and I dont know how much longer I can hold my heart together.

[Friendlyexperienced]

Sorry to hear you're going through this. As guy, I've been through similar with women I was with long term. Seems certain things can turn people off sexually, but if asked many don't seem to know why or are too uncomfortable to talk about. Because you are married and sounds like you've been together for some time, to me it sounds like there may be many things that have built up. I think it's great you sound committed to make it work, even though he hasn't been very responsive. My first thought is have you tried couples counseling?

[Asker]

He says there is no issue so there's no point

[Friendlyexperienced]

You posting this question here tells me there is issue. Maybe you should tell him how you feel and how this all occurs for you, and be really straight or blunt about and see how that turns out. Not as argument, but like how you put here (having hard time trusting, etc. Maybe even show him post and how people replied).

[Anonymous]

I have to be blunt. He is not into you nor your marriage and he is keeping you around because you are convenient to do things at home for him,. I'd leave his c heating butt. Get with someone better. He is in his own dream world, cookie.

[Asker]

You think he's cheating?

[Opinion Owner]

I know he is cheating you emotionally with this stuff and maybe talking to another or sexting them. Only u know if he could be cheating with his behavior when he is gone or gone a lot.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't trust this guy one bit and you are being disrespected..

[Asker]

He never leaves the house. But he sure likes an awful lot of her sexual pictures she posts online and then has the nerve to lie and say he's not doing anything and that he loves me

[Opinion Owner]

Ms. Pink, Sure, it appears he likes the comfort of his own home to do this with her or no with another girl. He can't be trusted anymore.

[Asker]

I dont trust him at all anymore

[Opinion Owner]

Ms. Pink, Get rid of him.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks. x

[In_Trance]

so... what's your question?

[Anonymous]

You really need to talk to your husband nothing will ever change if you don’t sit down and have an honest conversation with him tell him what you wrote here

[Asker]

I have tried talking to him before about this and he got really upset and started arguing with me.