How do you get a guy to take you seriously?

[Anonymous]

I have been very clear that if my guy can not be apart of my healing process then I need to keep my distance. A little background he would always express what his wants and his needs about sex and porn but ignored mine. When he did attempt to be more present he would feel like I was taking away his freedom when he agreed to being more honest and not hide these things behind my back, he seemed to be progressing and putting in effort.

I told him clearly that I need time to heal from our past since he had created a confusing environment of lies and games to do things behind my back which honestly are not huge but the lying is a major boundaries crosser and left me feeling like he was playing games with me especially because it led to him not engaging in sex with me. Overall he told me he would commit to letting me heal and waiting to watch porn since it is a trigger for me at the moment and just need time to adjust and build trust with him.

If I start feeling a bit depressed or express my insecurities he starts to complain and then he tells me how it makes him feel and it makes him feel like a bad guy and starts saying he is tired of it all. He has been stressing and getting angry at me for not being able to watch porn which was his idea not mine, our sex was getting better and more frequent before he started to stress, so I have had enough of the back and fourth. I told if he cannot be 100% on board with being supportive to my healing process then he can just watch porn and I will distance myself from him intimately and mentally since he can not be patient and allow me to adjust. I do not want him putting in half effort this only leads to him being deceptive again. How do I get him to take my feelings and needs seriously? He seems to only think about himself and put half the work unless it benefits him with the end result of getting to see nudity. I am growing tired of this and just prefer to fuck myself.

[Anonymous]

The most counterproductive thing you did to your healing process was to go back to the man you’re trying to heal from and have any real hope of him not repeating the same issues that broke you in the first place. I know sometimes we just have to go through things and get the result in order to finally put that situation up to rest, and I think that is what’s happening here. Probably against your better judgment you went back to that man hoping things would be different but in reality you are getting a different version of the same issues. There is no real healing to come from him, no matter what he says or promises to do, and you can’t keep jeopardizing your mental health just because you can’t (or aren’t ready to) let him go. I get the impression that you came along way in your healing, before patching things up with him. Don’t set yourself back to the point you will have to start over, and leave. It’s the best thing you can genuinely do for yourself.

[Asker]

Thank You, its hard to hear but you are right. <3

[Opinion Owner]

No worries love, I know it’s really hard to walk away from something but you can do bad all by yourself, you know? On top of that, you were fine before him, you will be fine after him and free to actually heal without a toxic, narcissistic person gaslighting you how he does. Hopefully you leave that situation❤️

[TheFlak38]

Think about all the good guys you friend zoned in favour of the asshole who doesn't care about you. Serves you right.

[Asker]

I don't get it, sorry a you didn't listen to the girl who was straight with you about not wanting to get with you but your being a dick. I don't think any girl deserves the treatment you offer when your upset, treat yourself better and move on. Wish you the best dude.

[TheFlak38]

no you don't deserve shit little princess

[Asker]

I feel for you. Hope things get better, even if you don't wish me well. ❤️✌️

[TheFlak38]

things are already better for me bitch XD

[Asker]

Hahaha okay your a troll 🤷 Fuck it.