How would you react if your partner suggested using a stocking in place of a condom?
DizzyDesiiEditor
I was on some next level dumb shit yo. He was like “i dont have a condom, lets use this foot stocking and i’ll stick my dick in it.” I said “wont that slip off?” He said “i’ll tie this rubberband around my dick.” I said, “doesnt this stocking have littles holes.” He said, “its not big enough for cum to seep through.” Good Lord I don't know how i made it out without getting pregnant 😂💀🤣 That mf slid on the stocking and tied a rubberband around his dick 3 whole times. He got one thrust in and screamed “shit its choking me. I can't wear this” 🤣💀😭 #FeelFreeToList #MeetDumbAndDumber
Updates:
+1 y
This was like some homemade cockring shit but he tied the rubberband under the tip of the dick rather than closer to his balls 😂 And no a mf was not on birth control. Just straight dumb i tell ya 🤣💀🙈😭 We was slower than this man pics.me.me/...ad-sex-at-night-because-52796762.png
My daughter came home from school I think fifth grade and said her friend said she had sex over the weekend and my daughter said her friend wasn’t worried about getting pregnant because they used duct tape at which point my wife said wait who wore the duct tape and I had enough of that conversation and had to explain that her friend was lying and nobody in the history of sex ever used duct tape in place of a condom of course her friend was like 10 or whatever and obviously telling a story for attention you are just crazy and crazy lucky. Do you think your pussy was scared thinking dudes dick was a masked burglar. She might need some therapy
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
Im shocked she was lying. I wouldn't dare embarass myself like this for attention. All my stories have always been the truth. I was 15 and dumb and we legit used a stocking 🤷♀️
maxflame
+1 y
I use plastic bags
DizzyDesii
+1 y
@maxflame so did this one guy i used to talk to 😂 He filled it with water or jello or some shit and fcked his couch 🤣
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maxflame
+1 y
I mean I wrap my dick in a plastic bag once
DizzyDesii
+1 y
@maxflame its more slippery than a stocking so good for you lmao
Most Helpful Guy
MrOracleInfluencer
+1 y
"I was on some next level dumb shit yo."
I'm going to have to agree with you there! That's just frightening, in so many different ways!
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
😂😂😂
Most Helpful Girls
DarkCarouselYoda
+1 y
Like the ones you use when you try on shoes at the department stores? Good lord, I thought you meant like a sock. That is nuts!!
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
Yes the ones at the shoe store 🤣
electromagneticGuru
+1 y
I’d honestly smack him upside the head. That’s a whole new level of stupidity.
I seriously doubt that it would be enjoyable for either one.
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
Lol we didn't do it log enough to enjoy
loves2learnMaster
+1 y
🤣🤣🤣🤣 Thank you for sharing this PSA with the younger crowd. You never know who needed to hear it.
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
Psa?
CoolGuy7532
+1 y
Public Service Announcement.
DizzyDesii
+1 y
@CoolGuy7532 oh lmao. I googled that shit and it said something about a prostate 💀 So i was like did she mean PDA 🤣 gosh im an idiot
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loves2learn
+1 y
Prostate 🤣🤣🤣🤣
RobT312Guru
+1 y
Sounds painful
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
Maybe for him but Nah i was wet.
RobT312
+1 y
Lol... Ahh ok, was more worried about you... the rubbing of the fabric makes me think of rug burn
DizzyDesii
+1 y
Oh nah i didn't feel a thing lmao
ohsheeMaster
+1 y
No I don't want nylon burn on my dick LOL I want it to be wet that's it
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
Lmao i was wet so i wasn't burnin. I don't know if he was
ohshee
+1 y
Well if he wasn't even smoking ready to burst into flames I can tell you that much at least I would have been no I would have interrupted probably I could just imagine lol
spartan55Master
+1 y
That dude was spinnin some serious bullshit trying to get laid. A stocking and rubber band...😂 😂 😂 😂 I can't...
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
The fact the shit worked 😭💀
spartan55
+1 y
Probably because it strangled his hard on into submission.
DizzyDesii
+1 y
No i meant the fact i went through with the suggestion
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spartan55
+1 y
Yeah... young and horny leads to bad choices.
DizzyDesii
+1 y
I wasn't horny at aaaaall at the time. These were the first few times of me just caving so he’d shut up
Notfabricated11
+1 y
Right tho , he was doing the most. Guy still has some moves to learn.
DizzyDesii
+1 y
@Notfabricated11 its been 10 years. Im sure he's learned a lot
NetSapienXper 6
+1 y
Well, necessity is the mother of invention...
there's got to be an A+ in there somewhere for the effort
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
🤣🤣🤣
Romulus8817Xper 3
+1 y
I mean, I'm a dude, and as a dude, that dude was horny as fuck and thinking with his dick
Skeet can sure the fuck get through panty hose. You just got lucky sis.
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
😂😂😂
NathanDavisMaster
+1 y
you should have your own Netflix series... lmao
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
The Dumb Days of a Dizzy Desii lol
DonkeyDanGuru
+1 y
That's one dumb mofo 🤣
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
We were both dumb
Hans222Master
+1 y
I would enjoy playing with your stockings but as condom they're indeed not safe 😉. I'd rather just put my hand in them and enjoy the feel ❤.
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
Lmao
Hans222
+1 y
***pulls down you stockings*** mmmmmmmmmm! I'm happy 🌞😁
Jaximus-LionGuru
+1 y
I would tell her ( bish please ) 🤣. But damn! I can't top your experience though.
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
Loll
Cherry234Guru
+1 y
I'd think he's crazy 😂
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
Lmao he was
Agape93Master
+1 y
... why lol
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
I know 🤣
t-8900Yoda
+1 y
"shit its choking me" YEP! That'd bout just killed me! XD
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
😂😂😂
t-8900
+1 y
this had to be boyfriend 1 back when you were like 15ish cuz I just can't imagine a grown man and this omg hahaha XD
DizzyDesii
+1 y
Definitely the first at 15 😂🙈
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t-8900
+1 y
I was gonna say I can't imagine a grown ass man being this thirsty or stupid XD
DizzyDesii
+1 y
Well one of my grown ass exes asked if i could take his virginity using a chocolate flavored condom he bought 10 years prior 🤣
t-8900
+1 y
"Oh God! Oh God! hahahaha!" that literally just bursted out of my mouth as I laughed. Yo girl you must have a lot of funny stories I haven't heard yet. I just feel it in my veins I know you been holding out on me haha. I gotta look through your mytakes again I've surely missed some comical gold.
DizzyDesii
+1 y
😂😂😂.
t-8900
+1 y
omg the failure becomes deeper... literally and figuratively! XD also please tell me the father of 23 meme never said that shit.
DizzyDesii
+1 y
Im sure he did
CoolGuy7532Xper 6
+1 y
I hope this isn't a real story.
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
Now i feel second hand embarassment 💀
exitsevenMaster
+1 y
I thought this was a hypothetical situation. I had no idea you wee speaking from experience. You are a real individual and I mean that in the very best way.
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
Lmao i wish it were hypothetical 😂🙈
exitseven
+1 y
hahahaha
Anpu23Master
+1 y
Wow, thats just next level.
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
I know 🙈
Phoenix98Master
+1 y
😐😐😐😑.
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
I know 🙈
Pink2000Master
+1 y
The nut is gonna seep right through it. It’d be pointless. I’d say we’d be better off using a sandwich bag.
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
Lmao omg the paper cuts 🤣
Notfabricated11
+1 y
A sandwich bag tho. Only if I knew that when a girl was dtf that that is exactly what she means. I would've pulled something crazy. Like yo "I'm allergic to plastic" or " I feel suffocated while its on and I'm claustrophobic ".
Pink2000
+1 y
A plastic sandwich bag girl… not a paper one lmao
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DizzyDesii
+1 y
Lmao i realized that after i read his comment 😂 Gosh im an idot
bananathunder
+1 y
she thought a paper sandwich/lunch bag... hahahaha #dead
DizzyDesii
+1 y
@bananathunder man this is just not my week 🤣
bananathunder
+1 y
hahahaha
Shark_61695Yoda
+1 y
I'd joke that a stocking wasn't large enough.
Other dark thoughts... If you tie it round her neck, you only need to dispose of the body... no chance of pregnancy. It's a great contraceptive, if she takes it off her head, her face makes me soft.
Superb Opinion