I would never let that happen in the first place...
and by that I mean... I would see it coming, it would be evident to me if something starts to change, so I would bring that up as if it is happening, before it becomes an actual trouble
but let's say that I am actually an absolutely clueless partner and she's been pretending and faking all this time and I "didn't know" well, then... I would just go through the 101 things to try and better up intimacy...
communication being the key of all of it, talk things through and do that openly, real communication that actually goes to the root of the few issues I am sure, and that, would have to come from both... both of us should be willing to work on it, otherwise things just won't work anymore/at all
Sex is the least important thing in my relationship so I won't be upset. However some people might feel unloved and unwanted. Good news there are other ways to show love:
Words of affirmation: compliments or words of encouragement
Quality time: their partner's undivided attention
Receiving gifts: symbols of love, like flowers or chocolates
Acts of service: setting the table, walking the dog, or doing other small jobs
Physical touch: having sex, holding hands, kissing
Try to switch shit up. What can i do for you? I’ll hear them out and if its shit that i can’t get with then i guess we just gone have to divorce 🤷♀️ If it turns out im doing everything they like but theyre just not attracted to me personally then shit i guess we just gone have to divorce 🤷♀️ Like what more do you want from me
I would honestly feel offended but I think I would try to figure out how to improve it
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!That would be a deal-breaker - but we'd never have gotten that far to be married in the first place. I know the difference between a girl who is just having sex out of duty or expectation and one who WANTS sex, and I would quickly lose interest in the former.
I don't even know what I'd do exactly. That would be devastating. That's a serious marital problem. Plus I'd resent the HELL out of her for (presumably) pretending. That very-well might be marriage-ending for me.
I'd find a good couple's therapist and fix it.
It would be a blow to my ego. I'd figure that I was still a rookie and need to learn more skills. I'd go on line and learn how to be better.
Id probably talk to her to see if it's something we can work on improving or if she just can't enjoy it full stop.
It could also be that she is no longer turned on by her guy or is bored of him.
Time to dig in and look for treasure.
What's needed? Doctor? Therapy? Do we need another girl? We need to talk something out?
Me, I need to know that what I am doing is not a waste of time for the person I'm with. Considering the question is about 'spouse', I'd exhaust all options of finding that answer.
If nothing.. I can't play choo choo with you if I don't believe the train's going to arrive at the station.
There would be a lot of long discussions.
Also evaluating your relationship, if you have kids, how long you been married, etc.
If you are very sexual and your spouse really is not, then there is a miss-match, and one of you is going to be frustrated and unhappy for years to come.
I would sit down and have a talk about improving my performance.
Analyze it first.
Is it something I can control... something I'm not doing right to meet her needs.
I mean... did I put on 50 pounds of gut and she isn't attracted to me anymore? I'd get back in shape and be the rock, solid man she fell in love with.
Am I not being romantic, and taking her on dates and flirting with her all day and building up sexual tension between us to where she is dying to have me... am I just laying around on the couch and then expecting her to be in the mood? I'd adjust how I am to better fulfill her desires and the natural way she gets turned on.
But... if she just flat out doesn't really care about sex or she flat out doesn't want sex with me no matter what... I divorce. I wouldn't live like that.
Depends on the reason. Am I not trying hard enough or have I fallen out of shape? Acceptable, and I'd try to change I suppose.
Did she just never find me all that attractive and fun to have sex with in the first place? Well, that's one of the many reasons why I'd never actually get married.
I'd feel like shit
If she is succeeding, maybe that is good enough.
wow i would be heartbroken to find this out tbh. I'd probably distance myself from them for a long time. it would really be a blow to my self worth for sure. I'm an open communicator and I would always strive and do my absolute best to please her so it means she wasn't communicating what she wanted or she's been lying. :(
I would ask for details. For example: Could I do something different to make it enjoyable? Is the problem that due to physical or emotional reasons the spouse can’t enjoy sex? Is the lack of enjoyment a symptom of a deeper problem in the relationship?
Thats freaking shitty, but I have been there. Most women that I have been with. Just are not kinky enough to keep me sexually happy
Sorry about that kiddo.
About what?
Is that the case with you?
Or is that how you feel about sex? Either way I feel sorry for the kids...
I would feel upset because she had not been honest with me and for that time we could have improved the experience for her
We’re finished instantly
Why?
That Will be a huge insult after all the time
That time
I'd want to make an arrangement whereby I could have sex with someone else who actually liked having it with me.
but how would you know they enjoyed it, if you weren't able to tell if your own wife was actually enjoying it do you think it would be easier with someone you don't know as well?
I understand your point, but personally, that's a situation I can't imagine. I know a lot of women think they can fake it well enough to fool any man, and maybe they can fool "most" men. But that wouldn't work with me over any length of time. I'm a very sexual being and I pay a LOT of attention to a woman's mind, body and responses, and I'm not just talking about sex. Any lover worth his/her salt should know if their partner is thoroughly engaged while having sex. If they can't, then they're not either, so it wouldn't matter.
What do you think?
I would try harder.
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